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Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

by Tuscan
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,458 customer reviews)


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  • Tuscan Whole Milk, 1Gallon


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Product Description

While Milk

Product Details

  • ASIN: B00032G1S0
  • UPC: 070600000014
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,458 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #115,745 in Grocery & Gourmet Food (See Top 100 in Grocery & Gourmet Food)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12,486 of 12,705 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Make this your only stock and store July 8, 2008
By Edgar
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!
... Read more ›
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5,679 of 5,834 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars One Friday, Without the Milk October 30, 2006
He always brought home milk on Friday.

After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.

Then there was that Friday, the terrible Friday that would ruin every Friday for the rest of my life. The door opened, but there was no bouyant greeting - no cold jug against the back of my arm. There was no Tuscan Whole Milk in his right hand, nor his left. There came no kiss. I watched as he sat down in a kitchen chair to remove his shoes. He wore no fatigue, but also no smile. I didn't speak, but turned back to the beans I had been stirring. I stirred until most of their little shrivelled skins floated to the surface of the cloudy water. Something was wrong, but it was vague wrongness that no amount of hard thought could give shape to.

Over dinner that night I casually inserted,"What happened to the milk?"

"Oh,"he smiled sheepishly, glancing aside,"I guess I forgot today."

That was when I knew. He was tired of this life with me, tired of bringing home the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. He was probably shoveling funds into a secret bank account, looking at apartments in town, casting furtive glances at cashiers and secretaries and waitresses. That's when I knew it was over. Some time later he moved in with a cashier from the Food Mart down the street. And me?
... Read more ›
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2,676 of 2,749 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Chateau du Lait Blanc, watch out! August 9, 2006
One should not be intimidated by Tuscan Whole Milk. Nor should one prejudge, despite the fact that Tuscan is non-vintage and comes in such large containers. Do not be fooled: this is not a jug milk. I always find it important to taste milk using high-quality stemware -- this is milk deserving of something better than a Flintstones plastic tumbler. One should pour just a small dollop and swirl it in the glass -- note the coating and look for clots or discoloration. And the color -- it should be opaque, and very, very white. Now, immerse your nose in the glass and take a whiff. Tuscan transports you instantly to scenic hill towns in central Italy (is that Montepulciano I detect?) --- there is the loamy clay, the green grass of summer days, the towering cypress. And those gentle hints of Italian flowers -- wild orchids, sunflowers, poppies. Then, one takes in the thick liquid and lets it roll across and under the tongue -- what is that? perhaps a hint of a nutty Edam cheese? With Tuscan, you feel the love of every dairyperson involved -- from the somewhat sad and deranged farmhand shovelling steaming cowpies to the bored union milk maiden dreaming of leaving this soul crushing life behind for a job waiting tables for obnoxious American tourists in Siena. But not too fast -- sip gently, slowly, or one is in danger of not only missing the subtleties of the milk's texture and its terroir, but -- if chilled too long -- also of giving oneself a blinding ice cream headache. Nay, savor the goodness that only dairymen and dairywomen working at the apex of their craft can deliver. Tuscan is best drunk young -- no, no, don't cellar this gem -- I guarantee you'll be sorry if you do. I recommend pairing with freshly baked macadamia nut scones. Milk Expectorator gives this one a 92.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't believe it
I couldn't believe it when I first tried this milk. It was delicious and very white. Wholesome, one might say. I poured some on my cereal. It made it wet and tasty. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Casey
5.0 out of 5 stars Made from Lactating Widows Nipples
dont be fooled into thinking this comes from cows, Tuscan whole milk is made from the lactating milk ducts of pensionable widowed women, who have been ladys of the night for more... Read more
Published 12 days ago by Bob SpankyMonkey
5.0 out of 5 stars Revolutionized my view of Quantum Mechanics.
It came just in time one day as I was stuck on a particular philosophical quandary. I opened up the package and lo and behold: the jug was empty. Revelation replaced agitation. Read more
Published 14 days ago by Michael
3.0 out of 5 stars Please follow the recommended dosage guidelines
Guys, I cannot stress this enough...read the recommended dosage. I was unprepared for the strength of Tuscan Milk. I always take my Viagra (TM) with a glass of milk. Read more
Published 21 days ago by Robert S Lionel JR
2.0 out of 5 stars Should Have Paid Extra For Shipping
There is nothing better than whole milk, fresh from cows in the Tuscan region of Italy, so I placed an order for Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. Read more
Published 26 days ago by Damnably Rarer Ilk
5.0 out of 5 stars Memories of teet
Don't repress those mammarian memories! Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz tastes just like Mom used to make!
Published 1 month ago by Brian
5.0 out of 5 stars Tuscan Cows
It's the Tuscan Cows make this milk taste magical. All my life I knew there was something not quite right about the milk I had been consuming. Read more
Published 1 month ago by JBowick
4.0 out of 5 stars A decent pet, if frustrating to train.
As usual, I felt the slightest bit of trepidation towards the idea of ordering a pet over Amazon for my fie year old, Bartonothew. Read more
Published 1 month ago by kyle kurtz
5.0 out of 5 stars Great as a facial wash AND bath!
Finally I found it! THE Tuscan milk....OMG! Ever since my aunt Fannie took me to a wonderful spa in Barstow (they used ONLY Tuscan milk in their treatments! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Cat Feet
1.0 out of 5 stars Why order when you can have fresh!
I have saved thousands of dollars since I purchased my own TOUCAN from a local pet shop. Now, I get milk every day. Hmmmm, at least I hope it's a "she".
Published 2 months ago by Alex Delarge
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