Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make [Hardcover]

Sherrie Eldridge (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 4, 2003

Adoptees working through the issues surrounding their birth can face grief, anger, and questions about their identity. Drawing on the stories of more than 70 adoptees, Sherrie Eldridge shows adoptees how to discover their unique life purpose and worth.

The 20 life-transforming choices for adoptees discussed in this book can change your life. They’ll help you discover answers about issues such as:

• Why do I feel angry or ashamed whenever I think about my birth parents?
• Why can’t I verbalize the painful aspects of adoption?
• Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem?

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

BACK: Now it's your choice. No matter how loving your adoptive home, growing up adopted presents unique challenges––challenges the majority of adoptees don’t talk about. Were you adopted as an infant or child? If so, imagine what it would be like to attend a gathering of all adoptees. What would you ask them? Author Sherrie Eldridge says adoptees might ask each other: · Do you ever feel alone? · Do you struggle with fears of rejection? · Do you have a special place in your heart for your birth parents? · Do you know who to trust? · Do you have a good self-image? · Do you feel like you don’t belong? · Do you ever think about a reunion with your birth family? Sherrie Eldridge has interviewed more than seventy adoptees, who transparently share their stories in Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, a book for adoptees and by adoptees. This book is a celebration of adoption based on the fact that adoption can teach some of life’s deepest and richest lessons. Upon hearing the stories of others, you will realize you’re not alone but are instead in the company of an incredible bunch of people who will inspire you to make life choices that propel you to become all you were created to be. FRONT FLAP: Do any of these thoughts and behaviors describe you? ·I wonder if my birth mother thinks about me, especially on my birthday. ·I reject others before they can reject me. ·I put on a strong front to cover up my lack of self-esteem. ·I often feel out of place, even in my adoptive family. ·I conform to what others expect of me. If you feel this way, you’re not alone. In fact, your feelings are common for many adults who were adopted as infants or children. These are just a few of the unique challenges adoptees face, even those who grew up in an open, loving adoptive home. But take heart! The twenty-life-transforming choices for adoptees discussed in this book can change your life. They’ll help you discover answers about issues such as: ·Why do I feel angry or ashamed whenever I think about my birth parents? ·Why can’t I verbalize the painful aspects of adoption? ·Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem? ·Why do I often set myself up for rejection and sabotage my best efforts? ·Is searching for my birth parents being disloyal to my adoptive parents? ·Why was I put on this earth? In these pages, you’ll explore the realities of adoption. What you discover will lead you to newfound joy and peace.

About the Author

SHERRIE ELDRIDGE is a reunited adoptee, an internationally known speaker, and the author of four adoption workbooks as well as the highly acclaimed Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew . Sherrie and her husband, Bob, live in Fishers, Indiana, and have two married daughters and six grandchildren.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: NavPress (April 4, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576833070
• ISBN-13: 978-1576833070
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #375,209 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sherrie Eldridge....Coaching Adoptees to Get Strong and Move On

Award-winning author and speaker, Sherrie Eldridge is straight-shooting, transparent, and compassionate toward everyone touched by adoption. Her basic belief about adoption loss is that one can grow from the loss and grief. Thus, the online support she founded is called the 140 member international ALL-ADOPTEE GROWTH [e-mail]. It is open to adopted teens and adults.

ADOPTION RESOURCES at www.sherrieeldridge.com:
Books:
~20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
`20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed
~20 Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make
~Questions Adoptees Are Asking
~Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children

Free Workbooks: (for support group use, individual, counselor)
~Under His Wings: Creating a Safe Place for Adoptees to Talk @ Adoption
~Under His Wings: Spanish edition
~Beauty for Ashes...Transforming A Painful Past
~12 Steps for Adoptees
~12 Steps for Adopted Teens

ALL-ADOPTEE Online BOOT CAMP
~3 times per year
~Join; http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ALL-ADOPTEE

Blog: Braids of Adoption: http://sherrieeldridge.blogspot.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Most helpful adoption book I have ever read, August 16, 2004

By 

Barbara Gowan "author of Blending IN" (Springfield, MA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make (Hardcover)

I read this book after locating my birthparents. I wish I read it before. It was written in a way that made me feel like I knew the author and she was relating my own personal feelings and thoughts. I probably would have found my family many years earlier had I been given the support and validation and guidance that this book gave to me. This is a book for adoptive parents to read as it helps one understand the feelings that often arent validated by the world but are so real to us. It also can help one to decide when and if a search is right for them. I bought this book for my 2 friends who are adoptive parents and for 3 of my friends who are adopted themselves. I highly recommend it to anyone in the adoption triad.

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars ABSOLUTE MUST READ IF AN ADOPTEE, May 25, 2006

By 

Anne "ja2003" (United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make (Hardcover)

SHERRIE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL BOOK, Twenty Life Tansforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make. I cannot express enough my gratitude to you.

I am an Adult Adoptee from Hong Kong, and was abandoned on the street and lived in an orphanage for the first 2 years of my life. I was very lucky to be adopted into the US by my Caucasian American parents, whom I love very deeply.

Nonetheless, the repressed pain of abandonement and rejection has recently surfaced. I had bought other books on adoption, but they were so clinical and sterile, I lost interest in them. I never finished reading those books.

But Sherrie's book IS AMAZING. I could not put it down!!! It is very well written, deeply personal and very emotional. I needed to read EVERY WORD she WROTE. When she expressed her thoughts and feelings, she articulated unspoken thoughts I had always felt, but never could define.

She has alot of clinical information in her book, which is important for me, since I am a Ph.D. student in Neurophysiology. Being trained as a scientist, I do need to have studies to back up hypothesis or suppositions.

Sherrie's book has helped me alot to grieve and cry. Her book was hard for me to get through, b/c it triggered alot of violent volcanic emotions that had been deeply repressed. But I know that grieving and forgiveness is the key to true freedom. It is just very hard work to do. But once done, I felt 10 lbs lighter and 10 years younger!!

Sherrie's book is leading us to our divinity, wholeness, self-healing, and self-awareness... which is a painful but exhilarating journey.

Sherrie does make reference to the Bible and Christianity to guide her. Though, I am an SGI-USA Buddhist and chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo as my form of prayer to the Universal Power, her book was still very helpful to me.

Sherrie also lists many helpful Adoptee organizations in the Appendix of her book. I hope to join an Adult Adoptee Support Group to continue my journey to wholeness.

Sherrie's book is a powerful guiding light in this deeply mis-understood topic of the pain that Adult Adoptees endure. Sherrie speaks for all of us in her book, and this book has saved my life.

If you want answers, comfort, empathy, sympathy, love, support, healing, and hope in dealing with being an Adoptee, GET THIS BOOK!!! YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY!!!

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Twenty Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, November 4, 2003

By 

Jeanine Jones (Aberdeen, South Dakota United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make (Hardcover)

Sherrie uses her own experiences as an adioptee to lead her readers to an understanding of typical adoptee experiences. The book is enlightening to all members of the adoption triad, as well as professionals, family and friends. While not every adoptee may experience all the reactions, it is important to take note of the possibilities.

The feeling of loss of control over one's life is a common issue. The question of why birth mom "didn't keep me" to how did I get these adoptive parents both deal with control, or lack of it. The natural reaction is to either feel powerless or to look elsewhere for power. Adotive parents willing to discuss and listen are one of the best supports an adoptee can have and what every adoptee deserves.