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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew Paperback – October 12, 1999
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From Library Journal
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
"Sherrie Eldridge has opened my eyes widely to the unique needs of my daughter and how to meet them."
"So many questions about adoption remain unspoken, leaving children and parents paralyzed with confusion. Sherrie Eldridge gives voice to these questions as well as answers, offering hope and help.
"Here at last is a book adoptive parents have been waiting for. Author Sherrie Eldridge has reached into her own experience s an adoptee and comes forth with twenty important issues that adoptive parents need to know in order to effectively parent their adopted children. A book all adoptive parents should read!"
"I now know that adoption was the core issue and the start of all my problems. Keep up the great work, as your book is more insightful and valuable than any the professionals have written."
As a psychiatrist who has worked with dozens of adoptive families, and as an adoptive father myself, I can appreciate the sensitivity, understanding, common sense, and helpful suggestions given in this book. Sherrie has thrown the light of appreciation and understanding on the unique issues that often lie buried in the corners of adoptees' lives. -- Foster W. Cline, M.D., internationally acclaimed child and adult psychiatrist and co-author of PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC
What a useful book! Sherrie Eldridge has illuminated many issues adoptees and adoptive families face. Many books have addressed problems in adoption, but Eldridge tackles the real villain: unresolved loss and grief issues and the trauma that precedes all adoptions. [This book] is a gift to everyone involved in adoption. Eldridge's personal disclosures add a level of warmth and genuineness and yet do not overshadow her message but rather focus and heighten it. I am adding this book to my list of highly recommended books. -- Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D., founder/director of the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio and co-author of ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD
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Top Customer Reviews
The weakness of this book, as others have written, is that it dwells on the negative. There is a lot of good that comes out of adoption. It is probably the most important good thing that has happened to me to help make me who I am today. And most adoptees are like me in that they are accepted into loving families who are open about the adoption and do the best they can to make it day by day.
The author at times seems to be overly dramatizing the loss that adopted children feel. But this is likely intentional. This is, afterall, a book about what adopted children wish their adoptive parents knew. I *do* wish my adoptive parents had known that the feelings of loss and abandonment would be there... I wish I could have put words to what I was feeling earlier and to have known that I was not the only person to have such feelings, that I was, oddly enough, normal. We all dealt with it, but it would have been easier for me (and I would have been a more pleasant child) had we known to expect this issue instead of waiting for me to discover it myself while exploring my anger and seeming unwillingness to get too close emotionally to anyone.
So I recommend this book for adoptive parents and those considering adoption.Read more ›
It would be wrong to invalidate another adoptees feelings---they are his or hers alone. But they SHOULD NOT be applied to ALL adoptees! And this book does that. It is important for all adoptive parents to be aware of the (possible) struggles or issues that an adoptee may face. Key word is "may" face. Not everyone has such a painful adoptive experience. I certainly didn't.Read more ›
The advice in this book might have some helpful relevance to those who are adopted as older childen. However, for those adopted a infants, what you should do is tell them early and often that they are adopted and loved. Let them know that you are always available to talk with them about any feelings or questions they might have. If they have questions, answer them matter of factly. Do not burden them with negative feelings that they probably do not have and will never develop.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great book for helping me understand some struggles my adopted teen is having.Published 1 month ago by Julie
I have 11 children, 5 of whom were adopted through child welfare 13 and 11 years ago (two sets of siblings). Read morePublished 1 month ago by Shari McMinn
“Birthdays may be difficult for me.” “I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Kelly
Love this and would love to recommend to others. I have plans to use repeatedly!Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
I gave this to my daughter who has adopted two kids and she found it to be very helpful. It was recommended by another adoptive mother.Published 3 months ago by kim
I'm an adoptee and I don't agree with the argument of this book. To be more specific, I agree 5% -- with one of the twenty things. Read morePublished 3 months ago by bellczar
Ma'am, I would like to thank you for writing your books. I am a 28 yr old adoptee who lives in Indiana. This past year has been filled with ups and downs. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Anjuli Smith