Customer Reviews

Twisted Head: An Italian American Memoir

5 star:		(29)
4 star:		(16)
3 star:		(18)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

The title reflects the classic Italian-immigrant shrug my grandfather would have given, and I use it to say: so what? This book is full of old stereotypes, and the personalities seem exaggerated, to say the least. Not only that: can anyone who has ever been a part of, or even been around, an Italian American family, be surprised by any of the reactions herein? I find it dificult to see why this author's life would be memorable for the rest of us. I am glad for his sake for his "exorcism;" its publication is what I question.

Currently living in the Bronx and growing up in New York at the same time as the author, I was curious to learn more about Italian-Americans from that era. Capotorto's memoir had the potential to deliver but did not, for a number of reasons. First, a good 80 percent of the book reads like nothing more than re-telling of childhood stories, with only glimmers of introspection or reflection. Many of these stories remind me of sitting around at family dinners and recalling childhood incidents - not exactly what would fill a book of interest for me. Capotorto takes us through just about each and every grade of school (I am grateful that pre-K had not started yet) but mercifully becomes less rigorous in his recounting when he reaches high school. He fills his texts with attempts at humor, often making it difficult to tell whether he is being factual, funny or sarcastic. I know, for example, that there were not 17 7th grade classes in junior high school, which the author states there are to make the point of how classes were dumber the higher their number, but one can't tell if he's trying to be funny (it's not) or presenting a fact.

There are a number of other annoying instances of his use of humor. For example, he laments the fact that he was not abused by the parish priest. He unbelieveably uses the cliched "but I digress" and a twist on "take my wife...please". The first two thirds of the book are a lot like this: attempts at humor, excessive detail about mundane childhood experiences, and even execessive detail on Italian food preparation. For traditional Catholic readers, there is a particularly offensive passage about communion.

Where the book had great potential was in the underlying theme of the story: the emotionally distant and strained relationship with his father. The father is presented to us as tyrannical, particularly using the author during his adolescence as indentured labor to rebuild their new home. The author's sexuality, an evolving open secret between him and his father, adds to the strain of the relationship. It is this relationship that elevates the memoir to more than just a recounting of stories, as Capotorto shares the pain of living under the roof of a father who does not seem to love him. However, as Capotorto recounts his father's life, information is shared that indicates that his father was a more complicated person than we are being told, and here is where I have the biggest problem with this book: after his father passes away, the author admits that he did not share with us a lot of the good his father had, and proceeds to list a bunch of good things he did and qualities he had, and to tell us that he wasn't all that bad. Wait a minute, didn't the author just spend the whole book telling us how horrible it was to be his father's son? He now pulls the rug out from under us and makes it appear as if he demonized his father solely to drag the reader through the book. A more honest and probably effective approach would have been to weave the good in with the bad. That he did not do so gives the impression that he was going for Jerry Springer type drama at the cost of his father's complicated persona.

To be fair, there are flashes of brilliant writing and honest personal revelation of feelings, particularly when Capotorto reflects on the death of his grandmother and the impact of his father's icy relationship on his self-esteem. These flashes, however, do not raise the memoir to above the mediocre.

Twisted Head by Carl Capotorto is divided into Part I: early/pre- teen years and Part II: teenage years.

The take on this book seems to be divided into two camps - the people who loved it for its descriptive, spirited, and humorous prose, and the people who did not - for reasons not unlike my own.

Twisted Head offers very little in the way of character development. For example, all we can gather about the characters that were a major part of the author's life, his family, is meager and can pretty much be summarily portrayed thus: an overbearing Father, a servile mother, a feisty but kindly grandmother, a rebellious sister (Rosette), and very little is known about his other sister (Eva). We are introduced to a smorgasbord of characters - neighbors, friends, his father's friends, his mother's friends, and characters from school and church, among others. A large part of the book is a hotchpotch of anecdotes regarding these characters, again, with very little in the way of character development. As a result, I was unable to "get into" the book because the shallow nature of the writing made it hard for me to feel a connection to and empathy for the author and the people in his life. (-1 star)

I can only speculate as to why the publisher chose to leave out details about Capotorto's sexual orientation on the back cover - a fact so pivotal to Capotorto's development as a person. Is it due to fear it would generate adverse reactions that would affect the sales of this book? Who knows. But whatever the reason, there's no denying that Twisted Head contains a sprinkle of the author's "sexcapdes" throughout the book, some of which some readers might find a little distasteful. While I'm on the topic of sexuality, I must add that I found it particularly disturbing that Capotorto could make a jest of wishing he would be molested by the priests in his church. (-1 star)

With all that said, Twisted Head is descriptive and mildly humorous at times, but unfortunately, not very engrossing because it lacks a clear direction and feels more like a loose-knit collection of anedotes overall.

While this book has Italian-American flavor, it is more directly a story of the changing ways in which a son can see his father. Capotorto's dad is larger than life mostly because any father represents such a disproportionate part of the outside world to his son. And Cappi is an interesting character, resembling many of the male role models I knew as a Baby Boomer child.

A mass of contradicttions, Cappi entertains adults but never jokes with family members. His Pizza Shop rules ("No slices at the tables") are distinctly his own, doomed to hurt his business and not to be questioned. He dragoons his son's labor every weekend in rebuilding his home with no plan and no progress aside from eliminating light and deforesting the yard. He holds Carl and his daughters at emotional arms length and then "changes the channel" and is a doting, emotional grandfather who calls the children every day even before they are able to speak.

An individual neither has to be consistant nor reasonable in his or her life to be passably successful, but given the overarching portion of the universe a father fills for a young son, those idiosynchrocies can become almost too much to live with.

At one point, Carl tells us he plans to kill his father. Failing that, he considers suicide. Finally, he makes his peace with his father, not so much in the epilogue after Cappi dies, but in the moment Carl realizes that "My father was every bit the social misfit I was."

Twisted Head is a humorous look from the inside at a life threatened by a strong-willed father, loud neighbors, scary hallways, school bullys and a family pet who launches ongoing attacks at young Carl. He survives, as do most of us, to share even the more embarrassing details.

OK, I LOVED this book. Let me give you some key points first. 1. I'm NOT Italian, as a matter of fact the first time I had pasta it was out of the box, as was the sauce, and I was well into my TEENS before I had it!
2. My parents were normal, not "an exorcism, with laughs"
3. I'm not gay.
WHY, oh WHY would I want to read this memoir?
Because, I'm a memoir FANATIC. I love a good written memoir. Lives don't have to be exciting to make an exciting memoir. BUT, luckily, this book is as well written as it was a VERY GOOD READ.
The author allows each particular character in his life come to life on the pages. So, you don't have to be gay, Italian, or have a drill sargent father to enjoy this book. Trust me. You get the whole package, LOVE, ANGER, FEAR. Deep seeded aggression. HUMOR. Psychotic episodes. Amazing it all fits in one book.
This book was read in two days, and it isn't a short book. JUST one book that was very hard to put down. Kick back, grab your copy, and enjoy a good book that should be read for what it is. An amazingly GOOD memoir!!!

I enjoyed this memoir simply because I have always been interested in what growing up in New York is like and the versatile,oddball characters that city brings. I grew up in a small Colo town; I am not Italian, and I consider my husband a Cajun Italian as he grew up in New Orleans, so the Italian lifestyles vary greatly. Hence, my reason for selecting this New York Italian American memoir which I became interested in.

Although the young man's memoir is simple and like many others' lives, I found his writing filled with descriptive words, engaging realistic dialogue, intriguing colorful characters and filled with life's crazy drama. Stories are lengthy enough to get a grip on, to allow the reader the full picture without extra detail.

We are privy to the Italian/pizza restaurant business run by a tyrannical head of the family, siblings, growing up in the restaurant, or the cramped early home, the oddball tenants, pets loved and lost, and schooldays. We learn about the transfer to another home, the demolition and slaving through it as the author did as a young man. The memories about "rich" Aunt Diana and Uncle Aldo's home on the Jersey shore were amusing. The reader learns how the family was taught to catch clam, crab, shiners and pick mussels or trying to catch lobster. Reading about his experience was enlightening.

Capotorto shares his story and musings from childhood friends, the disco era, family history, the scare of Son of Sam, and of course, how a grandmother entertained Frank Sinatra's mother. Another spark was his experience with theatre drama with high school students who were treated to a personal visit by the great Tennessee Williams, even though Williams was drunk. Caportoto's life in words was engaging, enlightening, humorous, sad and a fun memorable read.

NOTE ABOUT A COMMENT posted: A commenter asks why I didn't mention that the author was gay.

ANSWER:
You ask why I don't mention the same-sex adventures??? There are NO same-sex adventures, no horny details !!! A young man tells about his coming-of-age and makes some references to his sexuality and you ask why I didn't mention the adventures?? !! Sorry, couldn't find any to spice up the review.

I was not offended by anything I read about his being gay. If there were any offensive sexual stuff (gay or straight), then trust me, I am a big prude; I would forewarn readers. And I said gay or straight!

I was more offended by a domineering, overbearing, ruthless father and a weak mother. The focus of the book is an Italian identity and family growing up in New York. That's what I read......Rizzo

I love reading memoirs. Yes, not all are the same. But those that speak from the soul and manage to add a bit of spice are deeply satisfying to read. I do not share any background with this author(ethnic, racial, sexual orientation, age, etc.), but I do share a similar polarity to my parents that the author does to his father. Reading about the dichotomy between he and his father is uncomfortable but entertaining(as a reader). It is the way the author presents the stories.

The author is a gay man. He is very open and honest about presenting his experiences. For some, this my be uncomfortable to read about. For me, I understand that this is who the author is- although some of the details were a bit much. For me, the reason why this book was deeply satisfying to read about is because of the author himself. The experiences presented in the book are like the colors an artist chooses for his painting, these are interchangeable. It's what emanates from the center of the artist himself that makes the work so special.

Some small parts of the book were a bit slow. A few chartacters he describes about felt a little boring to me, and the author seemed to spend a little too much page space to these characters. The end, where he talks a little more about his father; I wish he had spent a bit more time describing these experiences in the middle of the book. There's just soo much deepness here with his dad(both good and bad). Overall I found much enjoyment from reading this memoir. I stopped to think a little about my own life and experiences. Any memoir that can cause me to do this is pretty good in my book.

In Twisted Head, Carl Capotorto describes growing up as the closeted gay son of a difficult Italian man in New York. The ups and downs:

What you may not like:
- The book is marketed in such way as it seems the entire thing will revolve around Carl growing up in the family's pizza shop (look at the cover, read the back). In reality, this only constitutes less than half the book, since his father eventually sells the establishment. While it doesn't change the fact that the story is interesting and well written, I still felt slightly misled. It was as if the publisher needed some sort of ploy- "Hey, why not exploit the whole Italian pizzeria stereotype?"
- There is a subtle pompous undertone in Capotorto's writing; at times I felt as if he was trying to portray himself as a martyr or even a victim. He rarely claimed responsibility for his actions or in his relationships.
- Some may be tired of the "daddy issue" present in many memoirs; it is a bit overdone, but Capotorto does it well.

What you will like:
- The stories are interesting and episodic. Capotorto is a great storyteller; his tales are long enough to give his readers a vibrant picture, but short enough to prevent boredom.
- The various family members and friends that are described are done so colorfully and, as far as the reader can tell, fairly. The negatives are generally paired with the positives, and Capotorto even manages to offer kind words toward his father by the end of the memoir.
- While I did critique the pizzeria marketing ploy, I have to point out that it is refreshing to see an Italian memoir that does not involve the mob.
- Readers will applaud Capotorto's bravery as far as being open and honest about his sexuality and how he struggled to come to terms with it throughout his youth.

Twisted Head is an entertaining, often touching, smartly written memoir that makes for a quick weekend read.

Based on the product description, I was expecting:

1) a memoir of an Italian-American family who owned a pizza shop
2) glimpses into a world very different from mine with some heartbreak and humor along the way
3) the ability for me to feel like a walked in someone else's shoes for a while

What I got:

1) largely, one long therapy session by the author
2) pages and pages of a dysfunctional family with raging father, meek mother and angry kids
3) a disclaimer at the very end (in the last six pages of the book) stating that the author had left out many facets of his father and even says "acts of gentle fathering I have failed to chronicle"

There were some wonderful facets to the book -- which saved it from a 2 star rating from me -- such as his descriptions of his two grandmothers, named New York Grandma and New Jersey Grandma. Those two people were fleshed out well and I really enjoyed reading about their history and funny quirks. One grandma always asks questions (including such simple things as asking the time of day) and then argues about the answers. I found myself smiling about that one since we all have a relative like that.

The descriptions of the family dinners and the focus around meal preparation and the holidays was a wonderful slice of their lives that is very foreign to me -- in our family an elaborate meal is anything taking more than a half hour to prepare. I loved those portions of the book.

To readers who may be easily offended: there is a lot of drug use, drinking, making fun of the Catholic church and graphic descriptions of sexual encounters, some of which I wondered if they were placed there for the shock value since it didn't seem to add to the story.

This book is described as representing "the real legacy of Italian Americans---labor not crime". Unfortunately, the labor aspect is overpowered by the focus on family bizarreness and considerable dysfunction. As Capotorto says, a memoir is very personal and relates the experience of a person or event more than the facts at hand. His own struggle to understand and live with his sexual identity may have added an even greater sense of insanity to these memories and created a piece that means little anyone but the actual participants. The writing felt forced and pressured with no particular framework for the overabundance of words. I kept thinking that if he organized and focused the material, it would be better suited to a stand-up routine rather than the written word. Not a total bust, but definitely one that would be reserved for the beach, a bus ride or a waiting room.