Two Hearts: An Adoptee's Journey Through Grief to Gratitude [Paperback]

Linda Hoye (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 8, 2012

Linda Hoye was in her early twenties when she found herself parentless for the second time. Adopted at five months of age, her heritage, medical history, and access to information about who she was or where she came from was sealed. It was as if she had never existed before being adopted. When she was barely in her twenties her adoptive parents died and a pattern of loss was put into motion that would continue for years as, one by one, those she called family were torn from her life. Struggling to deal with the loss of her family of origin and her adoptive parents, she ultimately reunites with members of her birth family--but there is never a reunion with the woman who gave her life and she continues to feel lost, rejected, and disconnected.

Two Hearts charts a course through a complex series of relationships stemming from the author's adoptive family, her maternal and paternal birth families, and an abusive marriage as the author seeks the one thing she so desperately wants: family. 

This is the story of a woman's journey through unfathomable grief; of what it takes to go into the abyss of deep-seated wounding, to feel the pain, and to come out the other side, whole, healed, and thankful. 

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Linda Hoye lifts her voice to tell an important story about being adopted during a time of great ignorance and darkness. Her voice is one we need to listen to. Read her book. Her story matters." ~ Jennifer Lauck, New York Times bestselling author of Blackbird, Still Waters, Show Me the Way & Found.

"Two Hearts is a powerful, and inspirational memoir...Hoye has written a book that will haunt you." ~ Kim Michele Richardson, author of The Unbreakable Child

"Linda Hoye has written a book about adoption that reads like a novel, yet includes the many diverse feelings adoption brings about in adoptees... Her honest account of her experience will inspire others to begin this perilous, but rewarding journey." ~ Nancy Verrier, MFT, author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self

About the Author

Linda Hoye is a writer, editor, adoptee, and somewhat-fanatical grandma. Her work has appeared in an assortment of publications in Canada and the US. In 2009 her piece, The Face in the Mirror, won second prize in the Susan Wittig Albert LifeWriting Competition. She is active in the adoption community and is an advocate for transparency in adoption. Hoye currently lives in the state of Washington with her husband and their two Yorkshire terriers, but Saskatchewan, Canada will always be her heart's home. She maintains a personal blog at lindahoye.com.

Product Details

• Paperback: 232 pages
• Publisher: Benson Books (May 8, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 061560675X
• ISBN-13: 978-0615606750
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,022,168 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Linda Hoye is a writer, editor, adoptee, and somewhat-fanatical grandma. Her work has appeared in an assortment of publications in Canada and the US. In 2009 her piece, The Face in the Mirror, won second prize in the Susan Wittig Albert LifeWriting Competition. She is active in the adoption community and is an advocate for transparency in adoption. Hoye currently lives in the state of Washington with her husband and their two Yorkshire terriers, but Saskatchewan, Canada will always be her heart's home.

She blogs at www.lindahoye.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A courageous, deeply moving journey July 15, 2012

By Story Circle Book Reviews

Format:Paperback

When, in 1960, Linda Hoye is surrendered in infancy for adoption, the process is deeply cloaked in secrecy. The story her adoptive parents tell her is the "you-were-chosen" story. It goes like this: we went to a place where there were many different babies, and when we came to you, you lifted your arms toward us, and that's how we knew that you were the baby for us. We chose you out of a whole bunch of other babies.

The intention of this story seems well-meant. Yet it is, in fact, simply an illusion because what lurks always beneath the lovely story is the irrefutable fact that secrecy and shame embrace the adoptee's birth. This becomes the core of the soul's pervasive ache to know that secret.

The author opens her memoir with a quote by Alex Haley:

"In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage--to know who we are and where we came from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness."

In the ensuing pages, Hoye shows us with grace and clarity what that hunger is like and how, lacking any knowledge whatsoever of her birth family, it influences every part of her existence."My life began when I was adopted. There was no one to tell me stories about the day I was born. My emergence into this life was shrouded in mystery and shame. I have a sensation sometimes that I wasn't born, just dropped here from outer space...."

Despite the child-rearing strengths of her parents, Hoye nevertheless manifests many of the classic characteristics of an adoptee: the strong need to please and conform, feeling out of place, never fitting in, seeking to be invisible, and handicapped in many adolescent developmental skills.Hoye's adoptive parents are good parents who consistently give her unconditional love and support in all her achievements. In her early years, one of the values they teach Linda and her also-adopted sister, Lori, is to always tell the truth, yet quickly we see the confusing dichotomy Hoye faces of living not only with the secret shrouding her birth but also a few family secrets. For example, her parents both use alcohol, yet the fact is unspoken and masked in subtle ways. Hoye and Lori are taught to call beer "pop," and to not use the word "drunk." These secrets keep her in a perpetual void of fear, uncertainty, and illusions.

The author shows us well the turmoil of her interior world as she passes through childhood and adolescence. Although, when in her late teens, she appears a bright, self-confident young woman, she begins to make precarious life decisions. She enters into an abusive relationship with a sometimes-employed, married-but-separated father of three who drinks, and who brings his children to live with them. Hoye then has a daughter and a son with him, and we ache as we watch her adapt to this troubled relationship just as she did to her childhood world.

Yet we realize what silently drives her: the profound yearning of her lonely soul to create a family of her own, the flesh and blood family of which she has never been a part.

When she's twenty-four, Hoye's adoptive father dies and eighteen months later, her mother. Hoye is devastated to be parentless for the second time in her young life. In the ashes of her grief, she is able to discern a gift as she realizes her mother had built her world around her father, and had no interests to pursue after his death. Hoye determines then that her life will be different, and affirms this will be her mother's final gift to her.

The remainder of the book is a absorbing journey with Hoye as she embarks on two new pathways. First, she makes and carries out sound decisions that lead to significant betterment of her life. Second, she begins a long, difficult, and convoluted search for her birth family as new adoption laws begin to open doors for adoptees trying to find their birth families.

Two Hearts is a book that can be easily read in a day. I would recommend, however, reading it slowly over several days in order to more richly appreciate the many levels of Hoye's exceptional journey.

The author concludes by stating her wish to be "part of the solution that leads us toward a healthy adoption climate."

"I hope my story can provide hope to adoptees that it's possible to find peace and healing. For those who make the laws, I hope my story illustrates the importance of providing adoptees with as much information about their circumstances as possible."

I believe she has succeeded remarkably.

by Mary Jo Doig
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women Read more ›

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Heart Breaking and Heart Mending May 21, 2012

By Kim Michele Richardson

Format:Paperback

I started Two Hearts in the afternoon, and finished it in one setting. Two Hearts is a powerful, and inspirational memoir about the author's journey to find her connection to family -- her biological mother who gave her up for adoption.

What an uplifting story that will resonate with many!

Hoye has written a book that will haunt you.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The ideal combination of honesty and craft April 1, 2013

By D. Roessle

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Two things that make a memoir great: honesty and craft. Linda Hoye's "Two Hearts" has both, resulting in a compelling and heart-wrenching story. As I read, my emotions ran the gamut, from tense and hopeful during the first half, wishing for her situation to improve and her trauma to be resolved, and relieved (and ultimately joyous) in the second half, when she finds understanding and peace.

"Two Hearts" is a worthy addition to the body of adoption-related literature. But it is not just an "adoption memoir." It's for anyone who appreciates excellent writing and a story of struggle and eventual triumph over a difficult past. I highly recommend it.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An adoptee's hero's journey that will inspire you June 11, 2012

By Kathleen Pooler

Format:Paperback

Linda Hoye spins a poignant tale of love, loss and longing in an adoptee's search for her identity. With a genuine and compelling voice, she brings us into her lifelong search for her biological roots starting with the story of her childhood with her adoptive parents, Ed and Laura. Although they are loving parents, she harbors a sense of not belonging. Her yearning to discover her history combined with her longing for an intact family of her own lead her into a relationship that turns abusive and prompts her to stay in this relationship longer than is good for her or her two children. As the heroine in her hero's journey, she eventually finds her way out with her two children. Throughout the story, she illuminates the complexities faced by adoptee's including reuniting with her birth family and experiencing rejection and alienation which she handles with grace and compassion. A turning point occurs when she is given her adoption file and finds the answers to lifelong missing links. She finds her truth and in doing so, she embarks on a mission to bring the plight of adoptees with the closed adoption system to light and help them fight for access to their adoption records. Her story brings hope and inspiration to anyone who has been adopted and wants to search for their birth family. Beyond that, it is a well-crafted, compelling story that kept me turning the pages until the end. She shows us clearly by weaving in elements of her current life how getting in touch with her birth family while not always as pleasant as she had hoped, helps her to pave the way for peace and joy in her life. Her story will make a difference by enlightening, inspiring and bringing a reason for adoptees to hope.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible story of transformation and redemption March 15, 2013

By Denise Hisey

Format:Paperback

Although I bought Linda's book a few months ago, I didn't pick it up to read it until yesterday. I read the entire book in one day! It really is that good!

Linda weaves her story beautifully. I felt like she was in the room with me; and I was honored to hear her story.

Though I am not adopted, I could relate to much of what she wrote about and that endeared her to me all the more.

A great read of abandonment, grief, love, strength, redemption, and reality.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Riveting...emotional..inspiring! February 3, 2013

By Danna Tinney

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

My emotions have run the gamut. Your journey was so compelling I could not put it down. I feel as though I have run a marathon. Only I've merely been a spectator, shouting words of encouragement at the starting line, crying tears of sadness when you stumbled, welling up with pride as you achieved, and praying, as you were forced to your knees with the overwhelming feelings of abandonment. Always wishing for you the happy ending that you so deserve.

I pray that through your journey you have become the whole and complete person you longed to be, that you deserve to be, that you have the right to be, knowing you are truly loved. I hope that your words offer encouragement to the lost and awakens those in the position to initiate changes, and that they are granted the wisdom to bring those changes to fruition for all past and future adoptees.

Thank you for sharing your journey. You are an amazing human being and I have always been proud to call you my friend. Those who read your story can not help but be moved by it.

Danna