Customer Reviews

Two Little Girls: A Memoir of Adoption

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I admit - when I got this book in my hands I couldn't put it down... I had to see how the story ended! As a fellow international adoptive mom, I relived my own experiences by reading Reid's gripping descriptions. It's all here -- the joy, the uncertainty, the need for brutal self-reflection and honesty, the conflicting feelings of anticipation and terror.... it really does capture the roller coaster ride of adoption. I admire Reid's willingness to expose her own shadows and ambivalence. I would encourage any pre-adoptive parent to read this book, just so you know you are not alone in these feelings. And, for those who are not adoptive parents themselves - chances are you know someone who is... and this book offers an insider's view on the unique challenges of this road to parenthood. WHen I brought my daughter home, after a journey fraught with drama, delays, angst, fear, uncertainty... I actually had someone say to me, "Ahh you adopted! You did it the EASY way..." All I would have to do now is simply hand over a copy of "Two Little Girls". Easy, it's not. Worth it, completely.

As the parent of an internatiionally adopted child who we adopted when he was older, this book really struck home with me. Like the author, I had also experienced the overwhelming desire to have a child and after giving birth to one child, I had emergency surgery that meant that adoption would be the only option for having more children.

I found Theresa Reid's memoir to be refreshingly honest, not sugarcoating the realities of some international adoptions. I wish I'd read it before we adopted. We had a successful adoption but I would have been more aware of what we were about to face, the bureaucracies, the last minute changes in "required" paperwork, the concerns about adoption shutdowns in the particular country we were considering, etc. Reading this book might have lessened my anxieties and stress level.

Each of Reid's adoptive experiences was different, one being very easy and the other (with a different agency) being a nightmare of delays and tough choices. For those looking to find a book about international adoption that is very open about the difficulties of bringing a second child into a family which already has one child, Reid's experiences may provide insight about that.

For first time adoptive parents, I think the book could prepare them for what lies ahead while providing reassurance that both positive and negative feelings are a normal part of the adoptive process, including major fears and concerns about the whole adventure.

Reid's great strength as a writer is her willingness to be open about her guilt, ambivalence, fears and doubts...and to prove that successful adoptions can occur when those feelings are faced straight on.By the end of this book she has crossed through a series of crisises and come through with a deep love for her children and a stronger advocate for adoption.

It is a privilege that Theresa Reid is willing to be so honest and candid with her readers. She tells her family's story from beginning to end with no emotions barred. It is so accurate and detailed that it's almost as if she began writing away furiously and continuously the moment she returned home from Ukraine. This was much too remarkable a journey to not share with others.

I was sympathetic for Reid and her husband from the beginning, and as her tale progressed I found myself unable to put her book down. Her story delighted me, but it also made me cry and demand answers for their hardships. This book made me realize just how many obstacles couples who are adopting or considering adoption may encounter. It also exemplifies the joyous and electrifying moments they experience when bringing back a child into their loving home. I have recommended this book since the moment I began reading it. It is such a beautiful story that deserves to be shared with everyone.

Numerous books on the market discuss how to adopt; but this isn't another general guide on the topic: it's a memoir of the experience of a couple who decided to move into international adoption, and addresses the special issues which arise from such a decision. Juxtaposed with her emotional story are tips others following the same path can learn from. A vivid, compelling story.

Diane C. Donovan, Editor

California Bookwatch

This book is a must read for anyone interested in international adoption. it gives the truth regarding the adoption community with no sugar coating and it deals with feelings of adoptive parents during and after the process.

it's also a heartwarming read for any parent.

I am not an adoptive parent and am not considering adoption, but was intrigued by this book, since many people close to me have adopted. I could not put this down. I thought the author's honesty is to be greatly admired and I look forward to her next book.

I too, found this book very difficult to put down. I found it very well written and profoundly honest. When making any criticisms of the author one should remember not to be judgmental; how many of us could have endured what she and her husband went through to adopt a child? I found her feelings to be sincere and I think many a mother could relate to what she said and how she felt: I know I did and I wouldn't call it being narcissistic but being a mother. The book read almost like a thriller and I had to keep reading to find out how it turned out. I recommend it highly and not just to prospective adopting parents.She told it like it was.

and how can that be so wrong?

This book is awful. I found the first part of the book okay. The couple is incredibly naive as they adopt their first child, but surprisingly lots of couples are.

The cringe factor increased with each paragraph about their search not for another child, but a sister for their first, perfect, beautiful daughter. The narrator quickly became a very unlikeable character. This couple seemed to have more money than sense & would stop at nothing to bring home a sister. Then when the perfect daughter didn't like her new sister, the author spends too much time regretting their decision. The author really never came across as wanting to be the mother of the second little girl. She seemed way too self-involved to notice some of the more obvious attachment issues & unwilling to work on those issues with the little girl. The book left me feeling like I need kiss, hug & reassure my daughter, that I love her & wanted her for her, not because of what she provides for her brothers.

Ick.

Reading this book was like watching a car accident in slow motion. I couldn't stop reading it because I was shocked and appalled at this woman's narcissism and vileness. It is like watching a movie, just to see what else the bad guy can do.

I would like to say upfront that since I could remember, I wanted to adopt children. It was my first choice for starting a family and last year my husband and I adopted our first child (who happens to not be the same race we are). This makes my experience different from Reid's because I didn't feel jaded against the world and pressed into a last resort when I adopted. I WANTED to adopt. I didn't care if my child looked like me or was born with a special need. We had our child home 11 months after we signed the first paper; the fact that the process took Reid years was her fault entirely.

Reid only wants a girl. Who is white. With dark features. And is perfectly healthy. And isn't too fat. But is still has a healthy weight.

The journey to the first daughter is rather uneventful. The second is shrouded in vanity, insanity and complaints.

She says "no" to a few children. They are the wrong race. They might be unhealthy. They are too small, too old, too young, etc. They live in a country that is too poor. No child is perfect enough. No child is good enough. Reid writes about fight after fight she has with her husband. Given the nasty nature of the things she published, I cannot imagine what evilness went unpublished.

When Reid travels to Ukraine to adopt the second child is when you really see the world from her entitled, mean-spirited, stuck-up eyes. When she describes others, they look too poor, too fat, too this or that. She is so caught up in appearance that I feel very sorry for her daughters and what they will have to live up to. The country is too poor, too rundown, too dirty, too underdeveloped. Her gracious hosts are not good enough- their furniture is too old, the bathroom has no mirror, the food is too fattening. The orphanage is too smelly, too dirty, the workers too cold.

The real laugh-out-loud part of the book was when, after another tirade of complaining and whining, Reid says "We had been being tortured now for years. This was just baffling. Why was this being so hard for us?" BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO DARN PICKY, WOMAN!!!! DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW THIS?!?!

When the second child is finally home, Reid actually described how she withheld love from the toddler because the little girl didn't love Reid more than all other people. She said that the little child loved everybody too freely and she couldn't love someone who didn't love her back more exclusively. Clearly, Reid has issues.

It always strikes me that most memoirs about the adoption process feature the struggles of people who entered into the process blindly, innocently, and naively then were amazed at the difficulties they encountered. I suppose if one had thoroughly researched the process, thereby avoiding many of the known obstacles, the story would not be as interesting! In any case, Two Little Girls is no exception to the pattern of naive prospective parents, underhanded agencies, boggling setbacks. What is different about Two Little Girls is that the author recognizes her mistakes and makes no allowances for her lack of due diligance. She is refreshingly honest about the whole process, particularly the emotional aspects. She did a brilliant job of portraying the ambivilance and angst that go along with accepting/rejecting a referral, then bringing a fully formed little being into your life. It is no cake walk!

This is a great read for prospective adoptive parents as well as experienced veterans of the process. I loved the descriptions of some of the cultural differences encountered, especially the beauracracy. Oh, yes, it is a different world!