Customer Reviews

UKM - Ultimate Killing Machine

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Did Michael Madsen lose a bet? Or is he just a bad investor?

Every once in a while I indulge myself with a little mindless horror. I'm not sure what it is that prompts this, perhaps it's the promise that I don't have to think, that I will be partaking in something wholly visceral. In any case, I will give almost all horror movies a chance, and, for the most part, I'm pretty forgiving, because horror movies are one of the few genres that really don't have high aspirations. They propose to offer you something (a few scares, some squeamish moments, a slathering of melodramatic creepiness, and usually some gratuitous nudity), and that's it.

This movie is billed as a horror film. It is not a horror film. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to call it.

The story concerns four screw-ups who, for their own reasons, have joined the U.S. Army. Because they are so weak, dumb, or personality-challenged, they have been elected for a special program that gives new meaning to the phrase, "An Army of One." It turns out that a highly classified program, overseen by a military official played resentfully by a phoned-in Michael Madsen, is attempting to use stem cells and various other chemicals to create Ultimate Killing Machines out of weak or wounded individuals.

Never mind the weird poltical statement this film tries to make (stem cells are mentioned numerous times), the story loses steam after the first fifteen minutes. One of the first test subjects (the man on the DVD box cover) gets way out of hand and escapes from his cell, going on a killing spree in the military compound, squeezing heads like rotten oranges and occasionally peeling off people's faces. He purposefully avoids the four confused teens, however, who, by this time, have each been given their own separate doses of the UKM drug.

Which means, there is a kind-of gross looking, very angry military mutant (?) man going around killing every bad guy in the film, while the protagonists (the teens) with whom we are asked to sympathize, run around trying to get out and come to terms with the changes their bodies are going through (One fun effect of the UKM drug? -- they get super duper horny! Ha ha! Awesome!). It's hard to be engaged in a film when the "good guys" are in virtually no danger whatsoever. Even the scenes when the UKM is stomping around, gritting his teeth, and dispatching of military personal are boring.

There is, virtually, no story here, and no character to focus our empathies on. This is a splinter of a kind of interesting idea that's already been done many times before, and better. Not even for camp value is this movie worth purchasing or even watching. The appearance of Michael Madsen among all of these over-acting new faces does nothing to assuage the utter banality of the film. I thought he'd add an element of humor or life to the movie, but he hardly seems there at all, and when he does "act" (i.e. read his lines without falling asleep in front of the camera) it is with a facial expression that seems to say, "What on God's green Earth am I doing in this movie?"

If you view even ten minutes of this thing, you'll start wondering, with equal confusion, why you're still watching.

WHY DOES THIS TYPE OF CINEMA HAPPEN. DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE CHEESY B-MOVIES AND COULD LIVE OFF OF THEM, BUT WHAT I DON'T LIKE IS MOVIES THAT CLAIM TO BE GREAT HORROR MOVIES WHEN THEY COME OUT JUST TO BE A PLAIN MESS OF OVER ACTED NONSENSE THAT IS NOT EVEN WORTHY OF THE TITLE B-MOVIE.

THIS MOVIE HAS NO REAL VALUE WHAT SO EVER TO THE HORROR CINEMA WORLD OTHER THEN TO WASTE APART OF YOUR LIFE THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK.

TAKE YOUR BASIC REJECTS OF CULTURE SIGNING UP FOR THE ARMY. YOUR NERD, YOUR BULLY BAD GUY, YOUR MAN HATING WOMAN, AND THE CLOSE CASE WOMAN WHO IS AFRAID OF EVERYTHING. EACH ONE JOIN THINKING THEY ARE THERE TO BUFF UP AND HELP THE ARMY BUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENS IS EACH ONE IS EXPERIMENTED UPON TRYING TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE SOLIDER KILLING MACHINE.

ADD IN THE MAD DOCTORS AND THE CRAZY DRILL SERGENT PLAYED BY MICHEAL MADSON, WHY WOULD HE EVER DECIDE TO DO THIS MOVIE I WILL NEVER KNOW.

THIS MOVIE IS JUST A BIG PILE OF POOP. THIS MOVIE IS BORING, LAME AND HAS NO REAL QUALITY WHAT SO EVER.

THE ONLY THING THAT STICKS OUT IS THE BLOOD AND GORE AND THE SHORT ROLE OF MADSON OTHER THEN THAT I WOULD BECOME A NAZI AND BURN THIS LIKE BURNING BOOKS.

Let me start by saying Michael Madsen is still a great actor but not in this film. It starts out looking like it going to be a pretty decent film do not be fooled. The plot is based on some scinetist who are working on a chemichal that is suppose to make some ultimate soldiers. They test it on one of their own top guys but it has a bad side effect. Instead they bring in the botom of the line recriuts to do their test. Well you can see where this going no where. That is basically where the story takes you. They esacpe and discover they have incredible power which they can not control. They run around in this low budget warehouse that is post to be a top secret base. It has a bad plot with below average acting and a terrible and predictable ending. This movie has a cool cover but that is where begins and ends. Do not even bother renting this stinker because it offers nothing but time wasted.

Everyone of the other reviews rates this movie as very poor. I love this movie. I have watched it so many times I can not count. The beginning is my favorite part. The last 2/3 does drag a little bit. It is definately a b-movie but it just has a great atmoshere to me. I don't believe it has poor acting. I have seen much worse. I don't consider it a horror or a thriller, just a drama I guess. It does have graphic violence like severed heads and faces torn off, but it is not extreme like Saw or Hostel of anything like that.

UKM is a Horrible, Horrible Movie....But I Think Its Supposed To Be That Way. I give it 2 stars because i think thats the feel they were going for. Michael Madsen is one of my favorite actors but this movie does him no justice. The acting is bad, the story is cheesy and even though its a short movie it feels like its dragging a bit. Save yourselft from 80 minutes of torture and get saw I, II or III instead.