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The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-conception through Birth, 2nd Edition Paperback – September 23, 2005


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The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-conception through Birth, 2nd Edition + Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All + Mommy, Mama, and Me
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 250 pages
  • Publisher: Cleis Press; 2nd edition (September 23, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 157344216X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1573442169
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #94,163 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review


"At last, a lesbian-specific treatise on making a baby and what to do with it once it arrives. Includes lots of bright, funny info about stuff like sperm bank selection and the legal rights of lesbian families." —The Advocate

About the Author

Rachel Pepper is the book editor at Curve magazine and works in the Lesbian and Gay Studies program at Yale.

More About the Author

Rachel Pepper is the editor of Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children, published by Cleis Press and released in May, 2012. This groundbreaking collection by more than 30 mothers of diverse backgrounds and ages will provide a window into what mothers of gender non-conforming children and adults really think and feel about their children and their own journey of change. Rachel's previous books include the best-selling Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians (more than 22,000 copies sold!) and she is also the co-author of The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life, and The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals. Rachel is a practicing MFT intern working with the LGBT population and is also employed at La Ventana Treatment Center in San Francisco, a holistic private clinic for women with eating disorders. An experienced professional journalist and the long-standing book editor for Curve Magazine, Rachel lives in the Bay Area with her partner Kellen and daughter Frances. She can be directly contacted at RLPepper@hotmail.com.

Customer Reviews

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My partner and I got this book and it was a very easy read.
AJWorksOut
I would recommend this book to any single or coupled lesbians who are thinking of embarking on the baby journey.
Marjory C.
We are using it as we move along in the process of ttc, pregnancy, and birth!
T. Reynolds

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 52 people found the following review helpful By Sooty Shearwater on October 5, 2005
Format: Paperback
Hooray! The second edition of this first-of-its-kind book has even more useful information and is totally up-to-date. The best thing about it is still the author's voice, which is strong and supportive -- and funny -- on every page. This book is infused with the wisdom of someone who's been through it all, back when there weren't any books about it, and is eager to shepherd others through the process. Equally encouraging are the many quotes from other dyke mamas (and mamas-to-be) describing their own experiences, from the just- thinking-about-it stage to actually giving birth.

Some questions this book will help you think through: am I (are we) ready for kids? can I do it alone? how to choose a donor? what is it like, trying to get pregnant? what are my options if I don't get pregnant quickly? how will I handle being pregnant? what kind of birth do I hope for? what is it like for the non-bio mom? and what kind of family will we be in those early days?

In each case the author doesn't tell you what to do, but helps you figure out what YOU want to do. She clearly has her own preferences -- unmedicated birth is best; circumcision sucks; breastfeeding rocks! -- but they are carefully argued, pretty persuasive, and the tone is consistently pro-child and pro-women.

Sensibly, Pepper puts the tough stuff up front: the first chapter is about getting yourself as physically, mentally, financially and legally ready to start a family as you can possibly be. Then it's on to getting the goods, finding out what's going on under the hood, and starting the crazy ride on the conception "rollercoaster." The chapter offering Ten Tips to Keep You Sane during this crazy period is worth the price of the book alone!
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Marjory C. on October 20, 2005
Format: Paperback
Rachel Pepper's new edition of her Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians is a welcomed event. With her clear writing and pull-no-punches style, Rachel takes the mystery and fear out of this amazing and popular process. Lesbians deserve to be spoken to in our own language, and this book is accessible and smart in the best ways. Things I didn't know I didn't know are answered fully, informatively, and often with a lightheartedness that reaches across the page to the reader so we can understand what's going on. I would recommend this book to any single or coupled lesbians who are thinking of embarking on the baby journey.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Bee on June 13, 2012
Format: Paperback
I'm really surprised at all the glowing reviews of this book! For me, the only thing setting it apart from a million other mediocre pregnancy books is the lesbian perspective, which I do appreciate. Overall, though, I found it pretty fluffy and not entirely reliable. The book gives an overview of numerous topics without providing a lot of detail on very many of them. This author's only qualification seems to be that she is a lesbian who had a baby, and she therefore offers tidbits of sometimes-dubious advice based on her own experience, such as...don't eat broccoli while you are pregnant? My midwife thought that one was hilarious.

I ordered this book along with Stephanie Brill's "New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth," which I found to be MUCH more useful and informative. All of the same topics are covered there, but in more detail and with more authority -- Brill is a renowned midwife and educator who has worked extensively with queer families. The Brill book provides WAY more detail and guidance on fertility charting, sperm banks, and insemination methods.

I am giving this book two stars because I think it's really important that there be pregnancy and birth resources geared specifically to queer women, and to the best of my knowledge, there are only really two such books out there. But trust me: The other one is much better.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Jennyness on April 23, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the most extensive pregnancy book for women who have to WORK at getting pregnant rather than starting at the "oops you're pregnant" point. If you're straight but single, lesbian, or partnered to a transman, this book is for you! Ms. Pepper is wonderful at being all-inclusive to all of her readers, including the family and partners of the pregnant woman. The book is positive and upbeat while still being serious and realistic. There is absolutely nothing I would change, add, or take away from this book and is worth keeping at your bedside if you're pregnant or beginning the process.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Meg on November 20, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As someone who needs "assistance" getting pregnant, I especially appreciated the review of the different options for insemination and frank discussion of the positives and negatives to each. Most pregnancy books presume the reader is already pregnant, whereas the first 75 pages or so of this book are all about the process lesbians and anyone else who's not "getting pregnant the old fashioned way" go through to even get sperm near an egg for conception. A great resource, written by an author who has been there, not a medical establishment or doctor.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Tammy M. Kelly on May 27, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book is fantastic - gives you all the details from when babies are just a mear thought, to when the real little munchkin is in your arms... All the details you don't normal hear about when speaking with doctors etc. This is a womans real life account of her own experiences and what she went through - it's so easy to read you feel as if you are sitting there with a friend chatting for hours.

Well worth the purchase - it provides you with contacts/groups/places to go all listed at the back - it would be great if I could find a book like this for a lesbian mother to be in Australia. AMAZING BOOK!!! THANK YOU!!
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