Customer Reviews: The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence (Revised)
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on April 6, 2003
This is an easy to read paperback that's only about 200 pages long. An hour or two per day will help you get to the end of the book in about a week. It then takes 21 days to break your old habits and reinforce the new ones that you desire.
Dr. Anthony's premise is that most of our problems with self-confidence, self-esteem and success can be traced back to our belief systems, habit patterns and level of awareness. He says that unless you accept that your current level of awareness totally dictates what you get out of life, you cannot change anything. According to the book, one's awareness is a result of one's belief systems. So, our belief systems are what limit us from achieving our potential.
We are trapped by our belief systems because of strong habit patterns. These habit patterns are a survival mechanism so we don't have to spend too much time figuring out how to respond in different situations. But, they also keep us on the same path in life. So, in order to get on the success path (if you are not on it already), it is necessary to start changing our belief systems. It isn't enough to realize that we are wrong about some of our beliefs, but we actually have to change our old habits and form some new ones to replace these old habits. The author believes that it takes about 21 days to break an old habit and form a new one.
It is a very simple theory but it has worked for a lot of people who have faith in this theory. I have myself utilized it at various points in my life when I felt that I wasn't going anywhere in life. A lot of people that I recommendeded this book to have found it useful too. The title sounds a little corny, but I guess the publishers used it to get people's attention. But this book is really about changing your life and the tools that help you do it quickly and effectively.
There is a lot more meat to the book than I have described here but it is definitely a pleasurable journey that the author helps you take. This book is one of my top 10 favorite books ever. I have bought several copies of this inexpensive book and given them out as gifts to my friends and family. Ignore the title and enjoy this gem of a book. Have fun improving the quality of your life!
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on March 11, 2004
I have bought on amazon a lot of book and never wrote one review. I did this one because i think i own it to dr. robert anthony. This book change my life. It's not pep talk, it's an eye opener. With his help you become aware of the truth about yourself. I used to wish i was someone else, but now i don't LOOK UP TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON. I prefer to be myself. I also bought the audio version of the book that i listen every day in my car.
It's the last book i bought on self improvement because i realize that low self esteem was the fondation of all the thing that was going wrong in my life.
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on December 17, 2000
I read this book just as I was getting a divorce and was scared to death to be on my own for the first time in my life (being married for 26 yrs). I particularly liked the part that told us that everything that is happening in our life we have attracted. It forces us to take responsibility for everything that happens to us and only we have the power to change it. After reading this book I felt like I could do anything I really wanted to do and be successful. And I have been for the last 4 years. Some of these readers have obviously missed the message about guilt. He is telling us it is nuerotic to feel guilty about something and just keep doing it. This book is all about change so if you're not willing to change don't bother to read it. This book is very spiritual and soul searching.
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on April 30, 2005
For what it's worth, according to the New York Times of 4/29/05:

"Sandy Alomar was a roving instructor for the Chicago Cubs in 1992 when he first bought "The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence" at a K-Mart in Williamsport, Pa. The book, written by Dr. Robert Anthony and sprinkled with exclamation points and words in capital letters, was published in 1979 and is now published by Berkley Books.

"Over the years, the book has become a must read for scores of players Alomar has coached. This spring, when Floyd confided in Alomar that he often overthinks his at-bats, he was promptly presented with 204 pages of advice. He can find his favorite paragraphs quicker than he can recognize a cut fastball.

"Many people fail to act because they are afraid to make a mistake or think that what they conceive can never become reality. (Page 128)

"Alomar, the Mets' bench coach, highlighted a few sections that he thought pertained to Floyd. After Floyd had memorized them, he started flipping open the book during his free moments and discovered new nuggets. When Floyd left the book on a private plane during spring training, he tracked down a flight attendant to try to get it back. And when he left it in the clubhouse kitchen one afternoon this season, the 61-year-old Alomar seized it for safekeeping.

""Cliff was going crazy," Alomar said. "The players who really need this book are the ones who have trouble with their confidence or are affected in a negative way by what people say about them. The biggest mistake these guys can make is to try to please everybody. They have to be independent and please themselves."

"On Tuesday night, when Floyd popped up to end a game with the tying and winning runs on base, he read the book as he fell asleep in bed. And after he reported to Shea Stadium the next morning, he flipped through the pages and showed off some of his new notes. Then he took the field and hit his sixth home run of the season, tied for second in the National League."
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on January 13, 2000
The book itself is trivial with regard to language and overall vision, but the author brings to light everyday values and concepts that we already know and often forget to practice. This book is a great reminder of these values and the power of awareness. At a time of depression in my life, I read this book from cover to cover in a matter of hours and found the inspiration to overcome my fears and faults. Of course it wasn't a quick fix, but it reminded me of my inner strength, something I had forgotten throughout the trials of my everyday life. Now, I read this book about once a year to remind myself that I'm not perfect-but then no one else is either. All in all, life is pretty wonderful when you allow yourself to focus on the positive.
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on December 3, 2004
This easy-to-read book is quick, fun, and quite life-altering. Its suggestions are simple yet incredibly profound, and are based on the idea that it is our THOUGHTS which are at the root of our success and failure. Several chapters are devoted to becoming AWARE of our thought patterns, by first identifying "mistaken certainties," or things which we THINK are true but are in fact, not.

Some self-help books make a big deal about positive thinking, but here, such a phrase isn't reduced to psychobabble -- the author makes a strong case for letting your whole self be a generator of positive thought: in other words, "you are what you think."

Anecdotal and personal evidence has shown me that a person's state of mind is a GREAT indicator to their level of success, personally, professionally, and socially. This book will help you become more aware of your subconsious thoughts, and how to change them to be more in line with your conscious desires.

Robert Anthony devotes a chapter to meditation and positive affirmation, but simply reading this book will make you much more aware of any negative thought patterns or beliefs you hold, and how to go about changing them. It's likely that simply SEEING and FEELING your negative thought patterns will shine light on them, and therein lies this book's simple gift: know yourself, know your mind, and you have all you need to begin changing.

I would recommend this simple, straightforward book over most other volumes of "new age" personal success manuals that are wordy and laden with faux-eastern, polyglot "spiritual" practices. This book is much more direct, easy to understand, and doesn't talk down to the reader or make you do esoteric ritualistic things. It just gives you some basic, simple techniques for becoming more aware of how your thoughts may be limiting.
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on February 6, 1999
This book is truly interesting to read and its ideas are exciting. It is much more than a book on self-confidence. It is a book that will teach you how to think positive and get what you want out of life. I found every chapter to be fun and easy to read, and the ideas within actually work. This is a book that you will refer to repeatedly for great ideas and inspiration.
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on July 13, 2006
Rules to live by. I keep this book beside my bedside and read certain parts fairly regularly. Some of it's gems include "anytime you compare yourself to another person, you are subjecting yourself to psychological slavery".
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on March 19, 2004
"The Ultimate Secrets of Self Confidence" is simply the best book I have read on self improvement after "Think and Grow Rich" by Napolean Hill. It is a book that will change you in all respects and deserves the importance of time and careful study. I have read it once and now I am reading it again and again, chapter by chapter. Dr Robert Anthony clearly states that it will take 21 days to fully understand this book and he is right. You need to study this book inside out because you will be a winner for good.
Why is this book so good? Well, it first recognizes that you have got to be clear of your uniqueness and purpose;that dependency, competition,comparison and manipulation are not necessary to succeed. We are here to create and respect ourselves;not to compete and compare with others. When we stop placing others above ourselves and depend on only us for our happiness and success we will be able to move ahead with confidence. So Dr Anthony helps you deal with the attitudes and mental awareness that will hold you back and change them with new habits. He discusses the need to stop value judging other people by recognizing that they operate from a different state of awareness; he carefully dissects why guilt is used as a weapon by the manipulator and why we should not feel guilty. Once Dr Anthony has helped us clarify our perspective of who we are and what we are about, He then goes onto discuss the strategies we need to use to succeed.
Most self help books can go into a lenghty discourse of having a plan and strategy etc; but few books attempt to wrestle with the important issues of self esteem, awareness,attitudes,morality and of perspective. This once book will help answer many questions that baffle you and lead you to achieve great success and happiness in your life. Believe me... read it and you will be changed forever!
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on September 6, 2002
There is no need to buy this book unless you are ready to change your life and you are ready to read it with an open mind. If you are ready, then it can change your life. The book can be the only tool you need. The book does not spend much time speaking to the results of low self-confidence and how to solve those problems. The book teaches the reader why they have low self-esteem and how to solve it in a very cause and effect type manner. I haven't read any other self-help books, but I have flipped through them. Unlike seemingly all the others, pages are not wasted in this book on praising the reader, but instead informing the reader about how they can take control of their life and love themselves.
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