About the Author
Anne Hooper, a member of the British Association of Sexual and Relationship Therapists, specializes in working with people who have sexual, personal, and emotional problems. A former editor of Forum magazines, Anne was, for six years, the director of the Forum Clinic and the founder of the Women's Sexuality Workshop. Anne has contributed to numerous magazines and has appeared on television on both sides of the Atlantic. She is the author of several books, including Ultimate Sexual Touch, Sexual Intimacy, and Great Sex Games, as well as other many titles for Dorling Kindersley.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
How The Book Works Many people express the opinion that sexuality only has value if it is worked out in private, solely between the two people involved. This, however, is faulty reasoning. Sex therapy, far from creating an artificial edge to the rapport between people, assists men and women in experiencing new thoughts and emotions as well as good physical sensations. Here, I offer assistance to all the thousands of people who choose not to meet a therapist face to face but who nevertheless look forward to resolving their sex problems. If you can make full use of the ideas, training methods, and therapeutic discussion I have gathered over the years, I sincerely hope you will be able to enhance your loving relationship in every way. The Ultimate Sex Book has been compiled to provide you with all the information you need to enhance or improve any sexual relationship. All the areas that are problematical for couples are covered in a similar, easy-to-follow way. Each single question such as "How can I make lovemaking more intimate?" is explored from several angles. For example, in that specific case history, the innermost anxieties and desires that we all may have are communicated safely through the circumstances of one couple in particular. In my assessment of the couple's problem, I explain how emotional intimacy can be fostered, and in the accompanying program I set out a series of simple exercises that encourage physical intimacy. Finally, the program is supplemented by the illustrated exercise that follows it; this provides detailed pictorial instruction of an enjoyable form of touch therapy that will allow you to develop intimate sensual knowledge of each other. The Case Histories Throughout the pages of this book are case histories taken from my files, each specifically illustrating the sexual yearning and ambition every individual possesses but few care to admit to. The lovers on these pages are not struggling with premature ejaculation or inability to experience orgasm, but they do ask simple questions that sometimes lead to profound answers. "How can I achieve a deeper orgasm?" provokes, for example a complicated answer because it concerns stimulating the mind. The people whose problems I have concentrated on here encompass single men and women as well as those in short-term, long-term, and/or conjugal relationships. The age range is wide, too. This only reinforces the truth that disappointment with sexual experiences affects everyone at some time. These seemingly personal cases to in face have implications for us all. I have tried in my assessments to generalize from particular circumstances so that anyone reading the case histories would be able to pick up insights into aspects of their own behavior, and so perhaps be furnished with ways of adjusting that behavior for the better. The Programs Succeeding each case history are the therapy pages, where a sequence of stages" to deal with the problem are outlined. The different stages include techniques involving specific mood training, factual information, and touch maneuvers. In the early pages I deal with issues such as self-esteem and assertion, outlining simple confidence-building exercises for men and women. The connection between confidence and sexuality may not be an obvious, but it does exist. Having the courage to ask for what you want in lovemaking and the language in which to do it tactfully may, for some couples, be the deciding factor in the rise or fall of a relationship. The latter pages help expand imagination by helping partners to explore each other's fantasies and by showing how to focus single-mindedly on expanding sensation and consciousness. In this way, the brink of orgasm and orgasm itself can become spiritual ecstasy. No one, of course, can experience ecstasy to order. But by laying the foundations, you have a greater chance of getting there than by leaving it to chance. Each program is directed toward a particular aspect of sexuality; some deal with mental attitudes, others with physical improvements through mastering specific, proven techniques. Programs may be for individuals or involve a partner. Each program normally involves several stages. This is part of the philosophy and practice of sexual therapy: that improvements happen over time as the result of building on previous experiences. Illustrated Exercises Each program is made up of one or more exercises, which are illustrated methods of lovemaking. I have made certain that techniques are presented in such a way so as to be accessible and helpful to all. The captions and annotations will guide you through the various stages and draw your attention to the finer points of the techniques so that what is shown can be achieved. These illustrated exercises are widely applicable to a variety of situations and, while you will get the most value from the book if you read it through fully, you can, should you prefer, work from it using only the exercises. I have personally seen hundreds of couples rekindle feelings of love while technically carrying out their sex therapy "homework" for me. The facts are that some people need help and instruction even for sex and that therapists, like me, using our expertise and sensitivity, try to give it. From Ultimate Sex, by Anne Hooper. (c) 2001 Anne Hooper used by permission.