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The Book of Ultimate Truths (The Cornelius Murphy Trilogy 1) [Kindle Edition]

Robert Rankin
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Cornelius Murphy is a big-haired seventeen year old tall school leaver, devoted avoider of regular employment and Stuff of Epics. And together with his diminutive companion and bestest friend Tuppe (the stuff of epics to a slightly lesser degree) they set out in a 1958 Cadillac Eldorado to travel the length of the British Isles in search of the missing chapters from a great and wonderful tome: The Book of Ultimate Truths. Penned by self-styled Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived, Hugo Rune.
Although few people remember Rune today, in his time he was lionised by society for his many achievements.
He spoke seventeen languages, played darts with the Dalai Lama and shared his sleeping bag (on separate occasions) with Albert Einstein, Lawrence of Arabia, George Formby and Marilyn Monroe. He was worshipped as a god by an East Acton cargo cult and once scaled Everest in a smoking jacket and a pair of plus-fours to win a bet with Oscar Wilde. He travelled to Venus in the company of George Adamski, reinvented the ocarina and was yearly burned in effigy by the Chiswick Townswomens’ Guild.
He was an expert swordsman, a world traveller, a poet, a painter, a guru unto gurus and a passionate hater of Bud Abbot. He won a first at Oxford, squandered three fortunes, made love to a thousand women, imbibed strange drugs and almost pipped Einstein for the Nobel Prize. He was barred from every Chinese noodle parlour in West London and died penniless in a Hastings boarding house in his ninetieth year.
He penned nearly eight million words, wrote the songs that made the whole world sing and knew all the answers to all the big questions. And he was, as his acolyte Aleister Crowley once said, One Hell of a Holy Guru!
His greatest work The Book of Ultimate Truths explains in terms understandable to the layman just what life is all about. Why there are always two small screws left over when you reassemble that broken toaster. Where all the yellow handled screwdrivers go to. The truth about the A-Z street directory and the Forbidden Zones that lie hidden all around us. The spontaneous generation of crowds. Where the flat hedgehogs upon country roads really come from. The real deal about Time, the Creation of the Universe and pretty much everything really.
Throughout his long life he was constantly under attack from the Forces of Darkness that sought to stop him revealing these Ultimate Truths.
And now Cornelius and Tuppe must battle these same Dark Forces if they are to seek out and publish the missing chapters of Rune. The going won’t be easy, as they encounter demonic Scotsmen, mad monks and cake-obsessed evil fairies, but it will be a lot of fun and The Book of Ultimate Truths must be republished. The survival of Mankind depends upon it.
The Book of Ultimate Truths is the first instalment of a three part Epic Adventure to out-Epic-Adventure all three-part Epic Adventures that have gone before. The further adventures of Cornelius, Tuppe and Hugo Rune can be found in

by Robert Rankin,
also available for your kindle from AMAZON

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Robert Rankin is the author of Web Site Story, Waiting for Godalming, Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls, Snuff Fiction, Apocalypso, The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag, Sprout Mask Replica, Nostradamus Ate My Hamster, A Dog Called Demolition, The Garden of Unearthly Delights, The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived, The Greatest Show Off Earth, Raiders of the Lost Car Park, The Book of Ultimate Truths, the Armageddon quartet (three books), and the Brentford trilogy (five books) which are all published by Corgi Books. Robert Rankin's latest novel, The Fandom of the Operator, is now available as a Doubleday hardback. For more information on Robert Rankin and his books, see his website at

Product Details

  • File Size: 416 KB
  • Print Length: 356 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 055213922X
  • Publisher: Far Fetched Books (May 29, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0087G5YJQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #515,595 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The secret life of the small screw November 5, 2000
This is Robert Rankin's eighth novel, the first of a new series. It introduces some endearing characters: the wild-haired seventeen-year-old Cornelius Murphy, and his dwarf-like companion Tuppe.
A typical Rankin plot: Cornelius and Tuppe are on an epic quest to retrieve the suppressed chapters of The Book of Ultimate Truths, and to keep them out of evil hands. Hugo Rune, the author of the book in the book, appeared in earlier Rankin novels, but now his outlandish ideas get the full attention they deserve: about the secret life of Gandhi and H.G. Wells, about the strange behavior of biros and small scews, stories that make you laugh aloud.
This was the first book I read from Robert Rankin, and at times I wondered if this guy needed to see a doctor. I read it again recently, after having read all his other books, and I found out that I had missed a lot of jokes during the first reading. The more you read these books, the better they get.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book defines madness... May 1, 2003
First of all, I don't understand why this guy isn't that popular (at least in the USA)! His sense of humour is unlike anything you would have ever read in your life. Laced with witty humour, brilliant use of words and insane ideas, his plots keep getting better and better with successive novels. However, this one remains a classic to the very end. Its about Hugo Rune and all his crazy theories about life (well, at least the life of a screw!). I sometimes wonder how this guy's mind works...I mean, first of all, his plot is incredibly complicated, on top of that, its situational comedy to the very best (forget those stupid sitcoms after reading least I have)
Read this one and expand your mind! And the ending of this book is...well, MINDBLOWING!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilariously wierd December 16, 1998
By A Customer
References to Douglas Adams aside (no, it's nothing like the Hitchhiker's Guide), this book is absolutely hilarious. It's one of the few books I've ever read that's been able to make me laugh out loud so often. Rankin's bizarre and somewhat halucinatory style is guaranteed to catch you off guard. The endorsements on the back include Terry Pratchett saying that Rankin is one of the few authors that can consistently make him laugh. What better reason do you need?
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
There is a fine line between genius and madness and I'm still not sure which side of it Rankin walks. His main characters Cornelius Murphy and the diminutive Tuppe are simply surreal. After reading this I went out and bought all his other books and I have not been dissapointed yet.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hugo Rune... an extraordiary man May 10, 2001
I read this book once and laughed out loud. I read this book twice and had a giggly fit. I lent it to my Grandma and she didn't give it back.
Robert Rankin is a master wordsman and his books never fail to deliver. The Book of Ultimate Truths is mentioned in other books of his, and Hugo Rune is in every book. This is truly wonderful - the extracts from TBOUT are really clever and makes me wish that I'd realised that first. An extremely funny book (in case you hadn't gotten the message by now) that EVERYONE should read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Meet Cornelius Murphy! Learn about Ultimate Truths! March 10, 1997
By A Customer
If you like Douglas Adams you'll probably like Robert Rankin because his anarchic, surreal humour matches the Hitch-Hikers style very well.

Follow the hero (Cornelius Murphy) and his sidekick (Tuppe) as they search for the missing chapters of the Book Of Ultimate Truths. You'll meet an Uncanny Scot, a strange lady in a straw hat, some dubious monks and numerous other delightfully bizarre characters.

The plot moves swiftly and the jokes come thick and fast with every turn of the page. I highly recommend this book, but I've only scored it 8 out of 10 due to the slightly narrow nature of the humour.
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More About the Author

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he is published - and making people laugh - around the world.

Despite his remarkable publishing success, Robert has never taken himself too seriously. He loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session. Robert Rankin is a great entertainer, whether in person or through his novels, with wit, humour and an incredible personal warmth.

But that's not all! In addition to being a talented writer, comedian and musician, he's also an incredible artist . . . so incredible, that he creates his own stunning book covers.

Reading his books can and will inspire you, scare you, thrill you and, above all, entertain you. His novels are an outlet for the soul, and food for the imagination.

The Brentford Trilogy:

The Antipope
The Brentford Triangle
East of Ealing
The Sprouts of Wrath
The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

The Armageddon Trilogy:

Armageddon: The Musical
They Came and Ate Us
The Suburban Book of the Dead

Cornelius Murphy Novels:

The Book of Ultimate Truths
Raiders of the Lost Car Park
The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

The Trilogy That Dare Not Speak Its Name:

Sprout Mask Replica
The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag
Waiting for Godalming

The Witches Trilogy:

The Witches of Chiswick
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

Eddie Bear Novels:

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
The Toyminator

Standalone Novels:

The Greatest Show Off Earth
The Garden of Unearthly Delights
A Dog Called Demolition
Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Snuff Fiction
Web Site Story
The Fandom of the Operator
The Da-da-de-da-da Code

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