29 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Hideously Bad......, May 23, 2009
This review is from: Ultimates 3: Who Killed The Scarlet Witch? (Ultimates (Marvel Paperback)) (v. 1) (Paperback)
Maybe instead of being titled "Who Killed The Scarlet Witch, ULTIMATES 3 should have been titled "Who Killed Jeph Loeb's Career?" Loeb was responsible for some damned good books at one point, including CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN, BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN, BATMAN: DARK VICTORY, and SUPERMAN: FOR ALL SEASONS, as well as a slew of others. His more recent output, of which ULTIMATES 3 is a prime example, resembles work done by someone who has suffered some form of massive Brain trauma........
The story, such as it is, is this:
The Scarlet Witch gets killed. The Ultimates fight a lot of people.
Along the way we get:
Valkyrie, a formerly powerless teen groupie, now Thor's lover, complete with Thor-level powers that no one thinks to ask how she acquired.Which is OK, because the reader is never told, either......
Black Panther is an Ultimate, despite the fact the he never speaks, and NONE OF THE ULTIMATES HAVE A CLUE WHO HE IS! (These guys have really lowered the entrance criteria.....)
Hawkeye has a death-wish, and acts like a tool. Wait, everyone in the book acts like a tool......
A pointless Spider-Man appearance that adds nothing, yet takes up seven pages.
A trip to the Savage Land, complete with Ka-Zar and Shanna, who appear for no reason and serve no purpose.
A mystery with the most retarded solution possible.
A totally out-of-left-field final page that almost made me LITERALLY scratch my head.
Classic dialogue such as "SUCK IT!", "Come with me if you want to live!", and "Then I guess that makes ME the MOTHER-%#&*(*!!!". Truly worthy of the Emmy and Eisner Awards Loeb has somehow won.......
Incest!
Attempted rape!
A Superhero sex tape, complete with a "How the hell did THAT get past the Editor???" implied Fellatio scene.
As I said above, the revelation of the murderer is just retarded. And that's the best word to describe this book.
Retarded. It's bad, HIDEOUSLY bad, in fact. Loeb needs to go back to TV, and give comic-books a rest. Maybe he's burned out or something, but this is beyond sub-par work. It's SUB-sub-par. Awful.
On the plus side, the art and coloring (By Joe Madureira and Christian Lichtner, respectively) are nice, but there are WAAAAY too many splash pages, compounding the fact that there's not much story here to begin with. ULTIMATES 3 took me about a half-hour to read, including a lot of time for lingering over the illustrations.
The collection includes all of the original covers and variants (Except the white-background Black Panther cover for issue #1), and has a nice gatefold section in the back, showcasing the six-panel gatefold cover from ULTIMATES 3 #1, and the two three-panel gatefold covers from ULTIMATES 3 #5. That's hardly a justification for the collection costing a whopping FIVE DOLLARS more than the original issues did. Save your money for Mark Millar's ULTIMATE AVENGERS, and do what most comic-fans are doing: Pretend ULTIMATES 3 and ULTIMATUM never happened......
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Ultimate Nail in the Coffin, June 10, 2009
This review is from: Ultimates 3: Who Killed The Scarlet Witch? (Ultimates (Marvel Paperback)) (v. 1) (Paperback)
Good lord, this was a terrible comic book. The story was essentially gibberish - a series of hop-skip-jump connected vignettes, each designed to show off a bustacular splash page and some 'cinematic' violence that made very little sense.
The continuity was rubbish - this was something out of the Chris Claremont school of cross-over action; unless you've read sixteen other, parallel, simultaneous titles, there's no sense to be made. On top of that, this was over-the-top mayhem, with no grounding in the real world, no maturity to the plotline, no sense of adulthood, drama, character development, cleverness or even the vaguest whiff of accomplishing something new.
Ultimates 3 was, in fact, everything that the Ultimates universe was originally created to avoid. This may not be the first nail in the Ultimate coffin, but it certainly is the longest.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Wow, it really is that bad, August 14, 2009
This review is from: Ultimates 3: Who Killed The Scarlet Witch? (Ultimates (Marvel Paperback)) (v. 1) (Paperback)
After reading review after review bashing Jeph Loeb and Joe Madureira's Ultimates 3, I decided I had to see for myself whether anything these two creators - whose work I've greatly enjoyed in the past - could truly be worth all the 1-star ratings. I wondered if people really took into account that Loeb and Madureira had the unenviable task of following up two of the greatest comic sagas ever published. After
The Ultimates, Vol. 1 and
The Ultimates 2 (v. 2), just about anything was going to be a let down. Well, I just finished Ultimates 3 and have to concede that the critics were right. The only way I can describe the change in quality is like going from a Quentin Tarantino film to a cartoon produced by Jerry Bruckheimer's less-talented (now there's a scary thought) half-brother.
The set up for this series is pretty simple. The Scarlet Witch is assassinated in the first issue, royally ticking off her father Magneto and prompting the Ultimates to go off to the Savage Land. Wolverine shows up, as do Ka-Zar, Spider-Man and Venom. Why? Wolverine is given an exceedingly lame reason for being there, but I can only figure the rest were thrown in because Joe Madureira wanted to draw them. Along with a convoluted "plot" involving a suicidal Hawkeye, a Black Panther shrouded in mystery (a stupid mystery, but a mystery nonetheless), dinosaurs and evil robots, Loeb employs inane dialogue, one-dimensional characters and a plot so convoluted that by the supposed cliffhanger at the finale, I just couldn't bring myself to care if (or how) everything was resolved.
I really have no idea what was going through Jeph Loeb's mind when he wrote this monstrosity. Maybe he was tired of the awards and critical acclamation he received from stories like
Batman: The Long Halloween and the Heroes TV series and wanted to get back to the mindless, Image style superhero slugfests he penned in the 90's. If he set out to radically change the status quo of the Ultimates, he definitely succeeded. Unfortunately for him, the status quo was absolute perfection.
Now I have to give Joe Madureira credit for his artwork here. I adored his manga-influenced pencils back in the 90's, and it's great to see him working in comics again. His characters are vibrant and stylized, and are really the only alternative to Bryan Hitch's cinematic realism. I'm not crazy about the coloring technique used here, since it makes every page look obscured by fog, but by and large the artwork is the book's only redeeming virtue.
There is a certain train wreck quality to Ultimates 3 that makes it hard not to gawk at, and there are a lot of pretty pictures. Other than that, though, reading Ultimates 3 is like watching a brilliant new institution being dismantled one page at a time. Sadly, Loeb has been given even more Ultimate Universe stories, so the damage is unlikely to be contained to just this volume. What a shame.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No