Customer Reviews

Unaccompanied Women: Late-Life Adventures in Love, Sex, and Real Estate

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

First, I give JJ credit for having the guts to put herself out there. But I'm confused: she went after sex, so why is she continually whining about not finding love? Perhaps if she put the intention of "relationship" out there with the same zeal as her initial ad, then she'd attract one. And why NOT go online??? You know, I'd like to think that with age comes some wisdom, but even I, single and about 18 years younger, don't write drunken emails or sob continually about lost love and then claim my feminist credentials. It's a bit much to see that at 71. I kept wanting to tell her to Get a Life! Enjoy the travels! Make yourself happy!

The other whine I found unattractive is the "I'm poor, so buy me..." a diamond, a house, a free dinner. When a guy tells me he'd like to buy me a gift, the LAST thing that would ever occur to me is to suggest a HOUSE. But in materialistic California (and Berkeley qualifies, despite its granola reputation) there's so much money that envy is common--and so is this sense of entitlement. JJ appears to have lost her manners. All this whining that others need to provide "stuff" for her--we all make decisions about our lives and hers was to teach, then to retire, and then to write. If I were JJ I'd figure out how to leverage my modest "fame" into enough money to buy a place myself, if it's so important to her. Or I'd have used the proceeds from my original sale, added to them and then bought a small place. Take responsibility for yourself!!!

As far as the book goes, it is all over the place. It's really more like a collection of loosely connected essays. I might have enjoyed them more if they had some coherent point and if she wasn't continually whining about her lost "loves" and her financial condition. It got old. Was disappointed in the book.

I am conflicted about Jane Juska. On the one hand, I really liked this book. Say what you will about the woman, she is no slouch in the writing department. I know she liked teaching, but by being a teacher and not a writer for her whole life, she has denied readers what would have been many great books, I'm sure. The title is misleading. "Adventures in Real Estate" the most so. She is not looking to buy a house, she's trying not to go homeless. People will scoff at that, thinking writers are millionaires, but they're not. There isn't really much sex, and a lot of times she goes off tangent, but you really don't mind since she's such a great writer (though she does construct some oddly grammatical sentences at times). She's honest, sometimes embarrasingly so, and she puts her heart and soul out there--no easy feat. That being said, she is probably one of the most pretentious writers you will ever read. She either thinks she's wonderful (everyone recognized me at Berkeley) or awful (I couldn't bear to put my photo online). Usually, though she thinks she's wonderful. She's her own worst enemy pining over a married younger man, when there are plenty of nice available men she could be with. She is also a little anti-arab, as one previous person mentioned, and she seems to put down other people do, in a very sly way that almost flies under the radar but not quite. Still, this is definitely worth reading because the woman has a way with words.

As a friend of Jane Juska's for several years and as someone who has read her two books, I want to report that I see her as a wonderful social critic. Her books are endorsements for having the strength to identify what is missing from your life and making changes--whatever your age and even if there is some risk.
Would I follow Jane's path or even want to have a relationship with a much, much younger man? No way. Can I learn from Jane's zest for life and insights into living in the moment without judgments of the flaws of others? You bet!

The fact that she writes with humor, wit and all-out honesty will make her a treasure for years to come.

I really liked Round-Heeled Woman, so I was looking forward to this book. To hear more about what the author learned and lived after the last booked left off. I expected to hear stories of triumph, of learning to be by yourself - or learning to love again. Something. Anything. I mean, surely, the author hasn't gotten anywhere in hear life since the last book - right?

Yeah.

I was so very disappointed. This book was one big whine fest about how wronged the author feels. She spends so much time pining over a very younger man that she knows she can't have. Seriously, has she learned nothing in her 60s and 70s?

If she's not whining over her lost love, she's whining that she doesn't have any money. At one point telling one of her suitors that she wants them to buy her a house or a diamond ring or something. Seriously? At first I thought she told the man this in a joking way. I certainly hope that was the case and it got lost in her writing style, but there were many places she mentioned money. It was honestly distracting and not all that appropriate in some places.

From the title, I was expecting her to talk about being by herself, being an "Unaccompanied Woman" - instead, I got a sad whiney older woman. I feel very sad for her, and even more sad for her friends that have to listen to her. I finished this book only because I waiting for that big pay off, the last few chapters that talked about her getting on with her life. I really do hope that she has gotten on with her life now. Otherwise, it's just sad.

I'm totally puzzled by all the negative reviews here. A lot of people just don't seem to "get" Juska's wry sense of humor. For example, when she talks about getting a rich husband to buy her a house -- and MAYBE she'd let him live there with her -- obviously she was joking -- duh! Yes, the book is a bit "all over the place," but I just love her writing style. She really lets you into her inner self and, to me, she feels like a friend. And, regarding her so-called "Anti-Arab" prejudice: the only men she's critical of are Iranian men, and she's had considerable experience with them, so I think she knows whereof she speaks. I do agree with those who find her situation sad, and frankly I hope I don't end up like her. But I think she writes well, and her books have resonated with lots of women -- AND I think they're very funny in parts.

I am only half way through this book, and I have to applaud Jane. If you are expecting her to be perfect, or perfectly happy, go elsewhere. At just over half her age I know many women in stale, sad marriages who embody the quote "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation". These women are every bit as pathetic as some people purport Juska to be. It's nice to hear from someone who doesn't think that marriage will make them whole, and who goes after what she wants, despite possibly getting her heart broken. Jane Juska doesn't glamorize her choices, as she has been accused of...she has had plenty of bumps as well as successes. THAT is what makes a human story. I hope that I have 1/5 of her courage when I am her age!

Reading this book was like having a good long visit with the author, whose "Round Heeled Woman" was an utter delight. Her voice comes through so strongly and engagingly; the writing is gorgeous; the stories are fascinating, the characters unforgettable--especially the main character: Jane Juska. The book's enjoyable without its references to "Round Heeled Woman," and yet it draws the reader back into "RHW" in a way that made me want to go back and read RHW again.

From the first sentence, I was hooked. Her outlook is so unusual, quirky and her style an academic/down-to-earth melange is enchanting. I enjoyed every "embarrassing" moment.

UNACCOMPANIED WOMEN: LATE-LIFE ADVENTURES IN LOVE, SEX, AND REAL ESTATE follows on the heels of Jane Juska's best-seller A ROUND-HEELED WOMAN, surveying women's fears of growing old, being alone, and never settling down. Stories of women who, like her, have yet to find love but are determined to find it provides insight, humor and irony and will make the perfect gift for any unaccompanied older woman still looking for love.

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

Interesting book, but the author puzzles me for a variety of reasons. There is the fact she comes from a well educated and monied family, is well educated school wise, has been married and even had a Dad who forked over the money for her to buy a home. Yet, for me she is one of the least educated women I have encountered, even if it is via her books. She seems to come off as more of a man hater than I expected. From how she speaks of men whom she uses but doesn't want a life with, to how she speaks of young Graham who had an affair with her, but like most wise young men, married a woman he loved and refused to cheat on, no matter how hard Ms. Juska tried. Says a lot about how she feels about wives. Not to mention most men who will cheat on their wives, will cheat on their one night, one month or one year women.

And lets not forget that while she writes on page 104 in her chapter titled The Snows of Yesteryear 'How do I know this stuff? How is it that I can tell you about the lives and loves of all these people from all over everywhere? It's because they tell me'. She then once again reminds the reader she is recognized all over Berkeley, CA, which in reality isn't hard since its square mile make up is so small that I am sure after her readings and newspaper, television appearances would be hard to miss. And lets not forget Berkeley is left of center and much more open to affairs, cheats and divorce than many other places.

But I have to keep reminding myself that here is a woman in her seventies, with a photo on the dust jacket that looks lovely who writes on page of how she stopped short of posting on a place like Match.com because it required a photo. If the photo on the dust jacket is what she actually looks like then why not post that photo? She writes on page 99 'I, of course, never went online. I thought about it, I even booted up a matchmaking site. I thought, Well, hell, I'll pay some money. But I got to the part where it said 'photograph required' and quit. The photograph, the one I had sent vis snail mail to Robert the Rat, had been my downfall. One look at me in real life, and he said, 'I didn't recognize you.' So either she looks like the photo on the dust jacket or she doesn't.

But it's the contradictions she writes that puzzle me. Like on page 11 where she writes 'The National Review, a journal by and for neoconservatives, felt sorry for me, too. In an article that appeared shortly after my book came out, the writer expressed her sorrow that, in the end, I will have no one to cut my grass. Let me tell you, if I had any grass, there would be no shortage of volunteers to cut it'.

Yet go to Chapter 13 The Body Electric and all she does is moan and groan about how she had no man in her life to buy her a diamond ring. Page 126 'But I don't want to buy myself a diamond. I want a man to give it to me'. Maybe if she weren't such a confused woman in mind and body a good man would want her and in turn want to give her a beautiful diamond ring and much more.

On page 208 she writes about Walnut Creek, CA which is near where we lived in the eighties which is a well to do area. She writes 'A man would come in handy for two reasons: money and size. With a big rich man I would be safe and warm, far from the ravages of the outside world, in a house where, if he insisted, I suppose he could live, too.' What a self centered woman! Again a perfect example of what she thinks of men. She doesn't want to love someone she wants to use them. And just how would a rich man whom you dont want in your life going to make your feel safe and warm?

Chapters 14 and 15 Oh, are basically chapters where she shares her anti Arab beliefs, which coming from a woman who professes to be from such a progressive place as Berkeley, made me mad, sad and disgusted. Again I think the woman has a deep hatred of men unless she can use them. Maybe a good therapist could help her in her old age now?

In the end what you have is a woman who is very sad, lonely and insecure. Not at all the strong feminist she claims to be. In my opinion she is looking for love in all the wrong places and sadly but bluntly is getting her just desserts. And you never do read about STD's and HIV issues and protection taken. This in light of the fact that senior citizens like herself are amongst the fastest growing HIV segment.

Thankfully I don't know any women like her. Or maybe I just run with a better crowd. Now for those interested in finding a man of quality who may also be well off in all aspects of his life consider this. Even women in their fifties, sixties and seventies are attractive if they don't drink alot, smoke, and work out to stay fit. So join a fitness center, get involved in kayaking, skiing and other outdoor activities, because this is were the best men can be found. It's probably one reason the author has struck out when it comes to finding a man worth having.

She seems bent on hanging out with those who drink, and are bookworms (I am a bibliphile), but who fail to be physically fit in all areas of their lives. I know so many physically fit women over age sixty and seventy who unlike the author never complain about big tummies that sag, since they take care of themselves, or are at least comfortable in their own skin. Everyone will encounter a wee bit of give as they age, but not like the author who seems to have stressed sex and forgotten the other aspects of a healthy lifestyle.

Sadly I think the woman confuses sex with love. I also question what it is besides sex she has to offer a man? Or doesn't she realize that men worth having, also want someone who is well grounded, loyal and able to do other things besides have sex, even if it is great sex?

As I noted in my review of her book A Round Heeled Woman, Look at the men like Robert who allows her to stay in his small NYC apartment, who has some good sex with her, but who verbally cuts her down. Or Henry who is married with kids and has 'sex' in front of the TV so he can watch the game. And poor young Graham who may have liked having her as a sexual experience, but who doesn't want anyone knowing him in 'real life'. Men who are proud of whom they are seducing are proud to be seen with the woman amongst friends.