Customer Reviews

Unbending Gender: Why Family and Work Conflict and What To Do About It

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This is a book for anyone who has struggled to mesh their work, their family, and their personal growth and development into one life that is balanced, fulfilling and just plain fun. Joan Williams says what we all feel, but fear: the way things are right now, the deck is stacked against all of us: men, women, and children. But as "Unbending Gender" so clearly illustrates, there is a solution well within our grasp. We can redefine our priorities and our idea of success. We can implement public policy that allows all of us to become vital and productive members of our communities. We can bridge the gap between a successful work life and a successful family life. All it takes is imagination...and will.

Joan Williams scholarly, thorough, and accessible book is a must-read for every woman lawyer (and working woman) struggling to balance work and family. Each time I've recommended it to one of the women attorneys I coach I've seen their perspective transformed. They stop blaming themselves for their difficulties juggling their many life roles - suddenly they understand that they're facing a system which makes it impossible to do everything well. Williams' treatise on the issues most central to working women is thought-provoking and a provides a useful framework for understanding why balance is so hard to achieve and how we might go about changing ourselves and our workplaces.

This splended book must be read by everyone trying to understand and remedy the strains on the contemporary family and to redirect the movement towards gender equality.While the majority of women with children are now employed outside the home, most "good jobs", from blue collar through corporate executive are still designed around men's bodies and "breadwinners'" ability to spend endless hours and energy on the job because they receive a constant flow of services from a partner. That partner, who may or may not be employed outside the home, does most of the family work but is "marginalized", that is, paid at a lower rate, and has lower status and power in the work world and in the family. This organization of market work and family work penalizes men, women and children. Reform requires re-organization of our work world, redefinition of our gender roles and a shift in the way society values and rewards family work, part time work and part time careers. The book is based on a wealth of new research and is a must for academics, policy makers, feminists and other activists working for a better society.

I haven't even had a family yet and this book really hit home for me. From the minute I picked it up, I couldn't put it down! As a law student with high career aspirations it is difficult to imagine how I can possibly be a great lawyer and a good mother. Williams' book describes this conflict and provides excellent examples and creative solution. She makes the bold suggestion that our society needs to change the way we work so that people can do both. I completely agree. The book is articulate and compelling. Anyone who is concerned about children's welfare, family issues, or women's equality should read it!

This is the book that I had been waiting for! As a lawyer, feminist, wife and mother I have struggled with conflicts between work and career and found myself forced to make "choices" that later seemed unjust. After examining family law and employment discrimination law in the course of rethinking how our society structures the relationship of "market work" to "family work," Williams presents her visions for a new paradigm which she calls "reconstructive feminism" or "family humanism." She offers both legal strategies and policy initiatives for restructuring how we "work" and changing the ways we talk about gender. This book has had a tremendous impact on me. As a result, I am hoping to teach a law school course around this book next spring. Professor Williams has been extremely helpful in assisting me in that endeavor. In addition, I am urging everyone I know to read this book. We need to forge the coalitions Williams proposes if we are to be ultimately successful in "unbending" gender roles in our society.

As a family therapist with a special interest in the area of work and family, I have read a number of books on this issue. Unbending Gender is a tremendous contribution to the field and one of my favorites. It was highly recommended to me by a marriage and family therapist and university professor, and I am passing on the recommendation to many of my colleagues. Williams' book has important implications for family therapy, as many male and female clients struggle with how to combine market work and family work. It will change the way you educate, normalize, and approach this issue with clients.

I was assigned by Oxford University Press to copyedit this book before publication, and I was immensely impressed by it--much more so than by similar books I've worked on. She presents detailed, well-thought-out arguments illuminating aspects of work and family that are perenially in the news but which are usually treated simplistically (often with much moralizing and editorializing). Her argument is based on the premise that structural factors--factors in the way our society organizes individuals' labor--are one of the most important influences on what we usually see as intensely personal choices about work and family. Looking at the matter from this perspective allows her to trace the effects of it through such things as corporate policy on leave and promotions, judicial decisions on child custody and child support, and individuals' experiences, and to make a number of concrete proposals for that are well supported by legal precedent and a strong sense of what is possible and practicable in today's world. There are a lot of legal citations for those especially interested in the legal history of the matter, but it is clearly written, so you need not be a lawyer to get a lot from this book. After reading this book, you won't look at the "mommy track" in the same way!

Now more than ever before, fathers and husbands (as well as uncles, brothers, and sons) need to understand how and why so many women experience so much stress when struggling to fulfill all manner of traditional gender-specific obligations in combination with other obligations related to the workplace. This same understanding is imperative for men with whom these women associate in their workplace. I'm not saying women's obligations are better or worse than those men have. But many of them are significantly different. True, assignment of marital and parental obligtions often has less to do with gender than with practicality. Of necessity, some Baby Boomers and many Generation Xers have re-defined concepts such as "partnering" and "division of labor." The process of re-definition or refinement will accelerate with Generation Yers. One of Williams' key points is that at work and in the home, indeed everywhere, men and women must have the courage and (yes) the patience to collaborate and accommodate in ways and to an extent which spouses and parents never have before. Those unable to "bend" with appropriate adjustment and (yes) with good will could well "break." Williams identifies various major problems and their causes, then suggests how those problems could be avoided or solved. You may not agree with all of her opinions (fair enough) but I think you will agree that she addresses important issues with care and concern. So must each of us.

For many years I thought I was the only one who felt unsuccessful because I raised my family instead of pursuing a career. I saw myself reflected in Ms. Williams' book: I "chose" to stay home, but I always thought I could have done something more. Raising my children was great, but children grow up and move away. The book made me feel like there were things beyond my control that influenced me to make this decision.

Williams' insightful analysis of the reasons why work and family conflict so in our society is a must read for anyone who's torn between the demands of office and home. It's even more essential reading for people who think the problems of juggling work and family don't affect them. For Williams compellingly explains why this conflict is a problem not just for individuals but for our society as a whole. And her solutions are realistic.