Uncharted Lives: Understanding the Life Passages of Gay Men [Mass Market Paperback]

Stanley Siegel (Author), Ed Lowe (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 1995

Why are so many talented artists, writers, composers, dancers, and actors gay? Is there a link between homosexuality and creativity? In this book, therapist Siegel weaves dramatic personal history and 100 rich, anecdotal interviews with gay men of all ages to examine the unique course gay men navigate and the life choices they make.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This second collaboration between psychotherapist Siegel and Newsday columnist Lowe, following The Patient Who Cured His Therapist , is a lively, engagingly anecdotal account of the developmental stages of the modern gay man. A dearth of sanctioned rites of passage and role models provides the gay male with a potentially empowering opportunity, according to the authors. Rather than continuing to define himself according to traditional notions of masculinity, of family and of love, the gay man accommodates these notions to his needs and desires. The authors support their analysis through interviews with gay men of all ages as well as through Siegel's account of his own belated acceptance of his homosexuality. The authors' decision to emphasize success stories downplays the very real social and psychological obstacles gay men face; the tangible pride of men who have surmounted those obstacles, however, makes for affecting, even inspirational, reading.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

A deft account of psychotherapist Siegel's middle-aged coming-out process, interwoven with sometimes original, sometimes questionable analyses of the life stages of gay men. Siegel and Newsday columnist Lowe (co-authors of The Patient Who Cured His Therapist, 1992) argue that since learning to accept oneself as a gay man involves rejecting many of society's scripts for male development, the well-adjusted gay man has to continually invent a life on his own terms. In this process, the authors contend, he often becomes more self-sufficient and creative than his straight counterparts, leading the life he wants rather than the life he's supposed to want. Like most American tales of the self-made man, it's a romanticization; Uncharted Lives overlooks the manifold ways in which the lives of openly gay men can indeed be mapped out for them by internalized stereotypes--the tragic queen, for instance, or the fashion-conscious aesthete. The authors also tend to lapse into rants against the irrationality of homophobia, that quickly wear thin. However, their critique of traditional heterosexuality's limitations on the individual is thoughtful. Siegel's personal narrative is engaging, particularly toward the end, as the cast of characters in his life becomes more eccentric: members of a long-term romantic trio, for example, with whom Siegel and his lover share a house on Fire Island, and who leave the room to confer about the most minor social decision, such as who should sit where at the dinner table. Siegel's life story, not surprisingly, is rendered in much fresher language than the chapters devoted to broader analysis, which are jargon-ridden and dry, though somewhat enlivened by personal interviews with other gay men. Thought-provoking, even amusing at points, but seriously weakened by polemics, psychobabble, and an underdeveloped premise. -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Plume (May 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452274486
• ISBN-13: 978-0452274488
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,860,429 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Stanley Siegel, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author, sex-expert, international lecturer, and former Director of Education at New York's renowned Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. With over 36 years of experience, Siegel has developed an unconventional and highly regarded approach to psychotherapy.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended, February 21, 2006

By 

Brian Fletcher "Author of 'Second Chances' an... (Cowen, WV) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Uncharted Lives: Understanding the Life Passages of Gay Men (Hardcover)

I bought this book back in 1997, approximately 2 1/2 years before I came out to my family/friends. I found this book to be very insightful, because it helped me to understand a lot of my own frustrations about why my life phases were in random order, rather than life "stages" in chronological order, as is prescription for a "heterosexual lifestyle".

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is having problems or issues getting to know themselves or reconciling their seemingly haphazard gay existence (for lack of a better phrase).

5.0 out of 5 stars Survival and Coming Out, February 27, 2005

By 

William Fowkes "Playwright" (New York City) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Uncharted Lives: Understanding the Life Passages of Gay Men (Hardcover)

This is simply the best book I've ever read about the developmental stages of a gay man's life. Essential reading for anyone who is gay or cares about anyone who is gay. It helps you understand, for example, the particular developmental challenges faced by gay men today when the country's president and most political leaders defile gay men and do so knowing there's political advantage in such posturing.