Uncle Mike's Guide to the Real Oregon Coast [Paperback]

Michael Burgess (Author), Steve McLeod (Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 1997

A hilarious send-up of all the things wrong with a beach town on the North Oregon Coast - starting with the weather! Tongue-in-cheek appraisal meant to keep people away, or to warn them about what they'll encounter...or...is it just a ploy to keep the beach pristine and deserted for the people who live there?

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...an endearing memento and a wonderful gift." -- Ursula LeGuin, Author, The Oregonian, Portland, Oregon

"Michael Burgess is excellent." -- Dave Barry, Author/Columnist

"The Erma Bombeck of travel writers." -- Maggie White, Editor of Our Town, Portland, Oregon

About the Author

Burgess is a fourth generation Oregonian, a reformed journalist and a Cannon Beach dweller. He is also a founder of Tolovana Arts Colony.

Product Details

• Paperback: 87 pages
• Publisher: Saddle Mountain Press; 2nd edition (July 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0965763811
• ISBN-13: 978-0965763813
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #330,276 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #26 in Books > Travel > United States > States > Oregon

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the funniest books I've ever read., July 15, 1998

By 

[e-mail] (Pendleton Oregon) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Uncle Mike's Guide to the Real Oregon Coast (Paperback)

I originally bought this book based on its front cover. Once inside, I discovered a comedic gem. I read this as we were driving and we almost ran off the road because we were laughing so hard. I grew up 50 miles from the Oregon coast and know of what the author speaks. The illustrations are some of the most disturbing I have ever seen and just add to the tone of the book. Anyone living at or traveling to the Oregon coast or just interested in a downright funny book should read this.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Oregon Coast as It Really Is--Or Isn't, July 4, 2007

By 

William Holmes "semloh2287" (Portland, OR USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Uncle Mike's Guide to the Real Oregon Coast (Paperback)

I've lived in Oregon for over 20 years, and this is the first book that tells the frightening truth about the Oregon coast. Forget those posters and coffee table books showing beautiful coastlines and majestic cliffs bathed in sunshine--as Uncle Mike explains, these pictures were actually taken "during a break between storm fronts that occurs once or twice a decade and can last as long as a week." As for the inhabitants, "the culture that endures today, while of morbid interest to anthropologists, isn't for the squeamish."

The wildlife is not much better. Uncle Mike points out that there are many sharks on the Oregon coast--and that there are no happy sharks, only hungry ones. A giant octopus can "snatch you and your toy poodle from the rocks with the lightning ease of a frog catching flies." An elk is "basically a deer on steroids," and a sasquatch is a "nearly nonexistent" monster that "hunts down humans for sport." You get the idea: from tsunamis to seagulls to ceaseless rain, the Oregon Coast is a scary place to be.

Of course, it may be that Uncle Mike is only joking. It may be that the Oregon Coast is really a bright, beautiful place with cheerful inhabitants and friendly critters. On the other hand, it might be true that Oregon coast crabs "move quickly, are quiet as ghosts, and work well in groups." You do the math.

If you enjoy Uncle Mike's sardonic sense of humor, consider getting "Uncle Mike's Guide to Sex and Drinking" (hard to find) and the two volumes of "Letters to Uncle Mike." Come what may, the Oregon Coast will never be the same.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Only funny because it's true?, March 28, 2005

By 

shamrockin - See all my reviews

This review is from: Uncle Mike's Guide to the Real Oregon Coast (Paperback)

I bought this book because it's by one of my favorite authors, and was not disappointed. Uncle Mike is a talented author. I grew up in Oregon, and all my "beach" experience revolved around the Pacific Ocean--on or near Cannon Beach. My friend grew up in both California and Oregon, and defines Oregon as a coast, which you "look at it from the warm car while you drive by to a real beach (in California)." As I can't stand California beaches, and think cold and gray is a perfect way to see the ocean, we frequently debate the points of our favorite locales. Based on my background, I wholeheartedly support Uncle Mike's portrayal of the sea monster, sea gulls, and other fine folk of the coast. I enjoy reading it to my friend, who morosely insists that it's funny because it's TRUE. (Apparently she's one of those that should have read the book before venturing out barefoot onto the sand as a child.)
The artwood is phenomenal, and Uncle Mike's commentary is first hilarious. If you've never experienced the Oregon Coast, read this book and be warned!