Customer Reviews

Unconditional Bliss: Finding Happiness in the Face of Hardship

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Unconditional Bliss came into my hands during a devastating breakup. I needed what most self-help books, with their bright covers and promises, never gave me: specific strategies for handling moments of crisis. With great gentleness and humor, Howard Raphael Cushnir asks the reader to study the way he or she feels joy or grief, to see how breathing and self-talk affect that process. The way he does this showed me tools I had never before recognized, and what I learned from using them changed my life. I recommend this book with all my heart.

As a longtime seeker of enlightenment, I've read many a book that promised guidance. And I've received a fair share. But this book has come into my life at a crucial time and seems, more than others before it, equal to the task. It provides a simple and effective--I didn't say "easy"-- method for attaining bliss by teaching a two-question process. The first question brings one's present reality into focus; the second gives one a "leg up" on accepting that reality.

When I read a book that thoroughly meets my needs, as now, I don't pretend to be impartial or a careful critic. In fact, I want to say that the writing is exquisite, but don't know how much my pleasure in the book's content informs that opinion.

If timing is everything, and I believe it is, then my wish for you, reading this review, is to share my good fortune. May you meet this book with an open heart, letting the gift of its message march in.

In his new book, author Howard Raphael Cushnir asserts that it's possible to experience radiant bliss no matter how bad life gets. "I invite you to experience this bliss," he writes, "when it's easy, when it's a challenge, and when it seems utterly impossible." Then, stunningly, he shows the reader exactly how. In this elegant, straightforward book, Cushnir shares a simple practice he calls Living the Questions that can help us to access "the bliss that lives within." A self-described skeptic, Cushnir describes how he discovered this bliss by paying close attention to his experience after his life fell apart. Candid self-revelations support his thesis that one needn't be an expert to find this deep and abiding inner bliss. The practice he distilled consists of two simple questions, to be asked and answered moment-by-moment. Examples throughout the book illustrate how the practice applies to daily situations, from the mundane (overeating, traffic) to the deep-seated (loneliness, loss, unresolved childhood issues). Highly accessible and practical, yet profound in its implications, it's a great read with a great message.

The title of this book says what you get after reading just the first ten chapters. This book is so honestly and helpfully written that you can't help but be enriched. I have seen many books like this, but Cushnir is so direct, clear, and makes it so easy (i'm so glad i don't have to sit in the lotus position to get the benefits!) that you feel like a new person every time you read another chapter. I have already given several copies as gifts, and i plan to reread the book every few months to keep reminding myself to ask and live the questions.

A phenomenal book.

David Siegel Author

Unconditional Bliss came into my hands during a heart-breaking, nerve-wracking break-up. What I needed more than anything was something so many self-help books with bright covers and promises had failed to give: specific guidance through moments of crisis and grief, specific steps toward bliss (though all I was really hoping for at the time was an end to misery). With humor and great gentleness, Howard Raphael Cushnir lays out the anatomy of how we feel sadness and happiness in all its subtlety. He asks the reader to slow way down to look at the way breathing and self-talk affects his or her passage through a feeling. For me, the result was strange, immediate and exciting. In those micro-minute workings were the tools I needed. I recommend this life-changing book with all my heart. It is a gift.

Cushnir begins by explaining how he came to experience the rejection and finally, his acceptance of bliss. He writes in a friendly tone that helps you understand how living the questions can promote an abundance of profound results in your life.

Living the questions teaches you to stay in the "now". When faced with difficult situations, you invoke this two-step process that takes you to a place of internal focus where you feel and experience what's going on "now". Cushnir gives real-life examples to help you clearly understand the experience of bliss and how to use the process to keep you focused in the "now".

Cushnir believes that everyone has experienced this profound state of consciousness and explains how we have been trained to reject this mystery of life.

Cushnir divides Bliss into four sections: Terms of Service is an orientation to his perspective and development of the book. Basic Bliss, provides a foundation for the questions and examples to put them to use. Advanced Bliss, clarifies questions about the state of bliss and the process to achieve and remain in the "now". The fourth and final section, Beyond Bliss, examines how living the questions gives you tools to transform your life-perspective and tune in to the ups and downs each of us experiences.

reviewed by Robert Moore

After 25+ years "on the path," I would say that many folks are making, or getting ready to make, a quantum leap in consciousness. How to describe it? From self-help to surrender? From process to acceptance? From mind to Being? From judgement to unconditionality? However one would define it, "Unconditional Bliss" will help anyone achieve it. Cushnir presents a perennial wisdom in a clear, warm and personal style. His two-step inquiry, practiced religiously -- or, rather, spiritually! -- will produce a meaningful shift in one's experience of Self and life. This book should have a long shelf-life, as it makes age old practice highly accessible for our modern age.

I can't seem to put this book down or stop highlighting.... It bears a resemblance to Osho's book 'Joy'.

I've been interested in seeking non-dualistic bliss, especially as emphasized in (Tibetan/Mahayana) Buddhism, but have found it discouraging how inaccessible traditional spiritual traditions can be. They are based on a foundation that takes an incredible amount of dedication and time that our current modern world simply does not allow when we have jobs, children, bills, etc. Cushnir's book is incredibly accessible, but perhaps in making it available to the lay person, it's definitely brief. He discusses acceptance and awareness, but for someone who has no practice with this, they won't know how to achieve them. That's where other books would come into play, basically anything mainstream Buddhism - just look around.

One aspect that I felt that the book lacks is how to apply happiness and bliss to the moments in between our inquiry. Much of our lifestyles are in fact detrimental to our well-being - for example, rising cost of living, working so many hours, filling our free time with mass entertainment (instead of time for reflection and connection), social isolation/deprivation, and losing touch with a sense of community. The harder our society pushes our children, the more fractured of a culture we become and the bigger the voids that get passed onto our future generations because we simply haven't the time to teach our children. Yes, our minds cause much of the trouble, but neither young children nor many nomadic indigenous cultures experience the suffering we do, and they have a much easier access to bliss. A lot of our suffering is social conditioning or psychological deprivation (ie missing pieces to our self-esteem).

If you, like I, have had troubles with life getting out of control only to wake up one day not recognizing who you are or what's happened to your life, I would strongly recommend considering work on your self-esteem and self-responsibility. Some good books on this include Nathaniel Branden's Six Pillars of Self Esteem and Taking Responsibility. Other books I'd recommend include Joseph Murphy's The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, and other books discussing the power of belief/faith. I've learned that overcoming our suffering has much to do with having the confidence that you will overcome it. The right kind of confidence is one not based upon life experiences but one based on the genuine belief that when we truly want something, we do what we have to do to make it happen, through a naturally increased creativity and determination. Perhaps there's a certain arrogant element to that kind of confidence, but sometimes we have to believe that our lives, our reality, is something we alone can make how we want. Why not live your dreams and potential? Why waste years of your life in suffering and victimhood? Another book worth reading is Brian Tracy's Goals. Being able to handle life's struggles becomes much easier when we feel capable and empowered to do so, rather than always feeling helpless. No amount of bliss will fix our underlying problems - only responsibility and achievement can, to at least eliminate the volatile and harmful elements from our life and maximize the positive elements in our life. Sometimes that means a change in environment. Again, a lot in our modern society is harmful and many environments, with no nature, no meaningful community, etc have no adequate positive resources outside of strip malls, and 300 channel cable tv lineups.

In busy lives where we need to function, how can we best make use of it so we can express that bliss? I've found that once you achieve a non-dualistic joy, depending on how hectic or 'undesirable' your life can be, it all can be short-lived unless we find OUTLETS to express it in our lives. I've lived in the deep rural country for 7 years and find the isolation difficult to accept, coupled with a divorce and single parenting of 3 kids plus a 90 mile round trip commute to a job every day, it's all a bit 'undesirable' to say the least and so any positive feeling is going to be short lived. With that said, I don't disagree that bliss can be lasting, just that it depends upon how much crap is still dealt with in life. There's a difference between facing grief with bliss or facing a turning point in life with bliss, and facing life that has become a resentful self-deprecating and lonely hell over many years. One thing that I would like to have been said more is that when life really sucks, sometimes responsibility and action are more important than feeling blissful - and sometimes trying too hard to feel blissful can actually turn against you and make you feel miserable, given that life is full of REGULAR and ONGOING undesirable things. A lot of the goodness about the spiritual path really only ought to be experienced when life feels stable and settled, in a nurturing and resourceful environment (instead of a strenuous and detrimental environment).

One book I would recommend to explore how to live life when you've been stuck in that bubble of fear for so long that you've lost all ambition and creativity - is "Witness the Magic: Become Like a Child Again" by Renee Guenette. Happiness is more than just stillness, especially when life is volatile - you need to also live it in every thing you do, change your habits, become playful, adventurous, curious, etc. If you've gotten to a point of depression/unhappiness that you find yourself sitting isolated indoors, preferring entertainment or the social web over going out into the world and actually connecting with people, then it's not recommended that you rely on a purely mental process to find that happiness - it needs to be lived through how you experience life in the world, and especially how you experience relationships, if you've happened to gotten used to being socially isolated like I have.

All in all, it's a great book, a great starting point. Yet living with genuine indestructible bliss is a long journey, full of hard work and filling in the gaps that we've lost connection with, whether from crippling self-defeating habits or social conditioning or missing instructions from lackings in our upbringings, etc.

In this little book you might find some answers.It gives you a simple method to cultivate awareness.And even more,it gives you one method that WORKS for dealing with emotional pain as it happens.

I'm not usually one who enjoys self-help books, but this really spoke to me. The author uses a clear but not pandering voice to talk about ways to live your life and to find ways to appreciate every moment of every day. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a better way to approach even the toughest circumstances.