Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex [Paperback]

Ellen Rakieten (Author), Anne Coyle (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 16, 2010

SHIRT: SPORTS JERSEY.         
JEANS: EMBELLISHED.
HAIR: OVERLY GELLED.          
STATUS: UNDATEABLE.

 
Did your date show up wearing socks with sandals? Are tighty-whities a deal-breaker for you? Do fanny packs make you want to run for the door? Now, for the very first time, we’re revealing the secret list of things that so many perfectly eligible guys manage to wear, say, or do to make themselves completely undateable. With an essential rating system that ranges from minor red-flag offenses all the way to the irreversible kiss of death, this hilarious handbook exposes the many common mistakes that can turn an otherwise acceptable man from a “maybe” into a “no way.” From pleated shorts and soul patches to ordering girly drinks and owning more than one cat, the evidence is painfully funny to behold. No more double denim, corporate swag, or exclaiming “Booya!” No more jogging in place at stoplights, and definitely no more “going dutch” on the first date. This book is for every woman who’s ever wondered where to draw the line, and every guy who’s ever asked, “What did I do wrong?”

Here’s what you did.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Emily Giffin Reviews Undateable

Emily Giffin is the New York Times bestselling author of four novels, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof and Love the One You’re With. Her fifth novel, Heart of the Matter, will be released on May 11, 2010. A former Manhattan attorney, she now lives in Atlanta, where she is happily married with three young children. Read her review of Undateable below:

If only I had a copy of this book in my twenties! I could have helped many a single guy friend (and a few I would have dated myself!) pinpoint their red-flag offenses and more egregious deal-breaking infractions. Whether it’s holstering a cell phone (or any type of electronic device, for that matter) to their belts, strutting around with a soul patch, or owning a cat named "Pinky" (true story!), lots of perfectly nice guys have stumbled and fallen into the undateable category. It’s really a shame too, and even a little unfair--why should pleated shorts end a string of otherwise stellar dates? Why should a sideways-cocked baseball cap cancel out a Harvard law degree? Why should one spray tan blind us to the gorgeous face underneath? Because, gentlemen, we women have standards, and no matter what else you’re bringing to the table, we simply cannot make exceptions for fanny packs, tighty whities or collectible action figures.

That’s where Undateable comes in…it’s an absolutely invaluable tool for any woman trying to weed out “less-than-desirable” behavior in a current or potential boyfriend. What’s best about Undateable is that it cuts right to the chase. Leave it out on your coffee table and avoid that uncomfortable conversation with the guy who insists on wearing socks with his sandals. Give it to your best guy friend so he can determine that the reason he can’t get a second date is because he always goes Dutch on the first. Buy a copy for your girlfriend who needs to have more self-respect and stop making excuses when her guy keeps texting at the table. And to all you single guys out there (and even the married ones!), go ahead and pick up a copy for yourselves too, just in case. You never know what you could be doing wrong. Maybe it’s that pink, fruity cocktail in your hand. Maybe it’s the head-to-toe Ed Hardy on the rest of your body. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve nicknamed yourself “The Situation.” Whatever it is, you deserve love. You deserve for girls to see you for the amazing guy you are. But, most of all, you deserve to know that your flaws can be fixed, even if you’re sabotaging yourself in pretty spectacular fashion (madras shorts, anyone?).

I’ve already passed around my copy of Undateable to all my single friends and, to a person, they’ve loved it. It’s smart, hilarious and fun--a must-have field guide for anyone navigating that murky and sometimes comical path to love.

Look Inside Undateable
Click on Images to Enlarge

Crocs	Jorts	Girly Sunglasses

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Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Villard (March 16, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 034552067X
• ISBN-13: 978-0345520678
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #281,772 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Just giving some opinions, August 5, 2010

By 

frank west - See all my reviews

This review is from: Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex (Paperback)

It's funny how media has made man look like the selfish and shallow people of this earth. If this book is meant to be taken seriously, well I might be losing faith in humanity.

Let's take a look at some of the things that makes a man "undateable":

Wearing briefs
Liking animals
wearing a speedo
Taking your shirt off at the beach
being a cat person
going to sporting events with friends
not liking animals
playing video games
not having any close friends
using the term "make love"
swearing
not swearing
having a bad relationship with your mother
having a good relationship with your mother
having bad music on your iPod

Why should one thing that isn't fashionable make a man "undateable". Remember when dating use to be about if the person was a good person, and you had common interests?

Bitches n' hoes. Shallow bitches n' hoes.

43 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Pretty Meanspirited if the Authors were Serious, June 24, 2010

By 

maskirovka (Alexandria, Virginia) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex (Paperback)

I thought this book was somewhat amusing in parts if the authors meant to poke fun at some pretty obvious clothing and grooming gaffes men make (including myself). I found myself a bit dubious about the authenticity of some of the photographs since I can't imagine any guy would volunteer to be in a book where he is held up to ridicule. I have a feeling that most of those photos were staged.

But if the authors were really serious, I can't help but regard "Undateable" as pretty shallow and superficial and think it's sad both for the women who might take cues from it and the guys who might get snubbed because of it. As another reviewer pointed out, men don't constantly dress and style themselves to attract women just like most women don't always preen and primp to attract men. Rejecting some guy because he happens to be wearing an identical color shirt and slacks strikes me as truly shallow. Maybe on the other six days of the week, he wears Saville Row suits, so why not cut him some slack?

Also some of the "undateable" things listed in the book come across as idiosyncrasies on the part of the authors. No one would argue that a guy should not make an effort to be neatly dressed and look like he regularly bathes and washes his hair. But I find it hard to believe many women look at a man wearing acid-washed jeans and say "he's a loser" and I rather doubt the clothing industry would be selling them if that was some universally held viewpoint.

Another example is that wearing a cellphone on one's hip marks a guy as being a "middle class management drone." Well, excuse me, but most men don't carry purses and if they don't wear a suit, how are they supposed to carry a phone around with them?

I wonder also how many of the women here who think this book is funny or --God forbid-- illuminating would react to a book titled "Unweddable: the 311 Stupid Things Women Say or Do that Will Ensure They Die Lonely Old Spinsters." Something tells me that such a book would be denounced as misogynistic.

44 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Both Sides Of The Story, April 6, 2010

By 

JB - See all my reviews

This review is from: Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex (Paperback)

As a guy in his late 40's reading this book the first thing I thought of is what is the perspective of the authors.How old are they? Single? Divorced?? Etc.... Not being sure and looking at their photo's I guessed they were young,hip,and obviously the coolest 2 women on the planet that have NO flaws especially when it comes to style etc....because we as men know that women know everything about what's cool right? They're even quick to point it out to each other when they see "other" women wearing something that's "not quite right"."Doesn't she have a mirror at home?"

That being said I did laugh and see things I had done in "THE PAST" before I learned(not from you guys) that may have not been the best choices to attracting women(and vice versa I can assure you).
I know you're not going to believe this but we don't base every moment of our day walking around the planet trying to impress and attract women.In fact some days when I leave the house(not for work or going out but for errands and such)I KNOW I'm dressed like a hideous dork and you'd go "ewwww".I won't be approaching any women asking for their approval,so I don't care what anyone thinks.I see plenty of women the same way ALL DAY.No makeup on ?? You're kidding right??...LOL
I also see goofy dorky guys of all ages every day that are walking hand & hand with a girlfriend or wife that may or may not be their female "dorkette" counterpart etc... and yet the world keeps turning.I know for women it's fun to make fun of men losing their hair and how they try to "make do" with what they have and yes it's very easy for 2 women with long beautiful hair to write "just shave it all off"to a balding man.I wonder what they would do if their doctor told them they had breast cancer and were faced with a double mastectomy. "Oh forget about the reconstructive surgery just cut em off and wear a big sweater and deal with it".Not to mention going bald from the "chemo" Not so funny is it?
All I'm saying is it's real easy for women to sit around and make fun of guys that are "uncool" or "clueless" etc....It's just as easy for us to do the same.In case you haven't noticed ALL women aren't PERFECT either but unlike some women reviewing here I don't think I'd ever hear a guy say "let's have a party,sit around make fun of all the uncool women in this book I just read" that's for sure!!By the way we don't care what clothes you wear or how much your shoe's cost because they're only going to end up on the bedroom floor anyway....lol Oh yes...I know,I know ONLY if we DON'T do any of these 311 things.....Yeah right ;-) One last thing,I think women that are a little older and more mature may be a little more flexible on the 311 things.I sure hope so because most 50 something women I see out there can use a little help themselves.

Update: 5/9
After seeing these 2 on the news and Oprah yesterday all I can say is I feel sorry the husband of the married one with the annoying nasal voice who kissed the asses of the 2 "dateable" TV hosts....yeah we know they're dateable because they're hot TV hosts!!! Duh.......go figure. And the blond who's "dating" must be so perfect she can't find any man who'll live up to her ridiculous expectations. Oh and by the way ladies every white guy that shaves his head doesn't look like Ed Harris or Daughtry.But of course it really doesn't matter if you have hair if you're millionaire superstars does it? One last thing,10 years ago I took in an abused cat that was starving and gave it a good home and a lot of love.Intelligent women would and have seen that as a good thing as I've dated plenty over the last 10 yrs..I'm sorry we all don't have german shepards named spike who would basically be sitting home alone all day while us real men work long hours to get ahead.Maybe these ladies would come over and walk my big dog?Oh darn it....I sometimes work long hours.I guess that makes me "undateable"....lol Puhhleeezzz.......