Customer Reviews

Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(22)

 

 

It's funny how media has made man look like the selfish and shallow people of this earth. If this book is meant to be taken seriously, well I might be losing faith in humanity.

Let's take a look at some of the things that makes a man "undateable":

Wearing briefs
Liking animals
wearing a speedo
Taking your shirt off at the beach
being a cat person
going to sporting events with friends
not liking animals
playing video games
not having any close friends
using the term "make love"
swearing
not swearing
having a bad relationship with your mother
having a good relationship with your mother
having bad music on your iPod

Why should one thing that isn't fashionable make a man "undateable". Remember when dating use to be about if the person was a good person, and you had common interests?

Bitches n' hoes. Shallow bitches n' hoes.

I thought this book was somewhat amusing in parts if the authors meant to poke fun at some pretty obvious clothing and grooming gaffes men make (including myself). I found myself a bit dubious about the authenticity of some of the photographs since I can't imagine any guy would volunteer to be in a book where he is held up to ridicule. I have a feeling that most of those photos were staged.

But if the authors were really serious, I can't help but regard "Undateable" as pretty shallow and superficial and think it's sad both for the women who might take cues from it and the guys who might get snubbed because of it. As another reviewer pointed out, men don't constantly dress and style themselves to attract women just like most women don't always preen and primp to attract men. Rejecting some guy because he happens to be wearing an identical color shirt and slacks strikes me as truly shallow. Maybe on the other six days of the week, he wears Saville Row suits, so why not cut him some slack?

Also some of the "undateable" things listed in the book come across as idiosyncrasies on the part of the authors. No one would argue that a guy should not make an effort to be neatly dressed and look like he regularly bathes and washes his hair. But I find it hard to believe many women look at a man wearing acid-washed jeans and say "he's a loser" and I rather doubt the clothing industry would be selling them if that was some universally held viewpoint.

Another example is that wearing a cellphone on one's hip marks a guy as being a "middle class management drone." Well, excuse me, but most men don't carry purses and if they don't wear a suit, how are they supposed to carry a phone around with them?

I wonder also how many of the women here who think this book is funny or --God forbid-- illuminating would react to a book titled "Unweddable: the 311 Stupid Things Women Say or Do that Will Ensure They Die Lonely Old Spinsters." Something tells me that such a book would be denounced as misogynistic.

As a guy in his late 40's reading this book the first thing I thought of is what is the perspective of the authors.How old are they? Single? Divorced?? Etc.... Not being sure and looking at their photo's I guessed they were young,hip,and obviously the coolest 2 women on the planet that have NO flaws especially when it comes to style etc....because we as men know that women know everything about what's cool right? They're even quick to point it out to each other when they see "other" women wearing something that's "not quite right"."Doesn't she have a mirror at home?"

That being said I did laugh and see things I had done in "THE PAST" before I learned(not from you guys) that may have not been the best choices to attracting women(and vice versa I can assure you).
I know you're not going to believe this but we don't base every moment of our day walking around the planet trying to impress and attract women.In fact some days when I leave the house(not for work or going out but for errands and such)I KNOW I'm dressed like a hideous dork and you'd go "ewwww".I won't be approaching any women asking for their approval,so I don't care what anyone thinks.I see plenty of women the same way ALL DAY.No makeup on ?? You're kidding right??...LOL
I also see goofy dorky guys of all ages every day that are walking hand & hand with a girlfriend or wife that may or may not be their female "dorkette" counterpart etc... and yet the world keeps turning.I know for women it's fun to make fun of men losing their hair and how they try to "make do" with what they have and yes it's very easy for 2 women with long beautiful hair to write "just shave it all off"to a balding man.I wonder what they would do if their doctor told them they had breast cancer and were faced with a double mastectomy. "Oh forget about the reconstructive surgery just cut em off and wear a big sweater and deal with it".Not to mention going bald from the "chemo" Not so funny is it?
All I'm saying is it's real easy for women to sit around and make fun of guys that are "uncool" or "clueless" etc....It's just as easy for us to do the same.In case you haven't noticed ALL women aren't PERFECT either but unlike some women reviewing here I don't think I'd ever hear a guy say "let's have a party,sit around make fun of all the uncool women in this book I just read" that's for sure!!By the way we don't care what clothes you wear or how much your shoe's cost because they're only going to end up on the bedroom floor anyway....lol Oh yes...I know,I know ONLY if we DON'T do any of these 311 things.....Yeah right ;-) One last thing,I think women that are a little older and more mature may be a little more flexible on the 311 things.I sure hope so because most 50 something women I see out there can use a little help themselves.

Update: 5/9
After seeing these 2 on the news and Oprah yesterday all I can say is I feel sorry the husband of the married one with the annoying nasal voice who kissed the asses of the 2 "dateable" TV hosts....yeah we know they're dateable because they're hot TV hosts!!! Duh.......go figure. And the blond who's "dating" must be so perfect she can't find any man who'll live up to her ridiculous expectations. Oh and by the way ladies every white guy that shaves his head doesn't look like Ed Harris or Daughtry.But of course it really doesn't matter if you have hair if you're millionaire superstars does it? One last thing,10 years ago I took in an abused cat that was starving and gave it a good home and a lot of love.Intelligent women would and have seen that as a good thing as I've dated plenty over the last 10 yrs..I'm sorry we all don't have german shepards named spike who would basically be sitting home alone all day while us real men work long hours to get ahead.Maybe these ladies would come over and walk my big dog?Oh darn it....I sometimes work long hours.I guess that makes me "undateable"....lol Puhhleeezzz.......

#1.) Being vain & obsessed with appearances
#2.) Being judgmental
#3.) Being shallow

This book is a book about entitled immature women "wanting their cake and wanting to eat it too" Woven throughout the book is how they expect men to be "in control", macho, not wusses/wimips like the expectations of early to mid 20th century, then expecting them to be "sensitive" like late 2oth and early 21st Cent ury. In other words, when in the first page of the book they claim 90 percent of men are undateable is most likely due to their delusional entitled expectations of a Ken doll in a Barbie world (to use old caricature models)

Why would two ladies write such a book unless they were "still on the prowl" in the vain search of men that will never meet all the unrealistic expectations of their "checklist"? I hope they don't make too much money off this book; however, in this day and age anyone can make a book on based on lies and entitlement. I hope the majority of woman will treat it as entertainment or they will be sorely disappointed when they don;t find men that fit this checklist!!

It is interesting to note that most everything they say or want reflects on the attitude of EXACTLY what I do NOT want in a woman. I owe them thanks for reminding me what a "loser woman" is like so I can avoid her!!

These demands would turn a straight man gay!

Please, women, don't take this book seriously. It's comedy. Nothing more. If you need this shallow, vapid, insecure, and overly-judgmental woman to tell you to whom you should be attracted, you shouldn't be "dating or having sex" yourself.

this is less about being datable and more about how to be a soulless clone. Some of it's kinda funny but most of the reasons/tips are so shallow and materialistic. So if the author is correct then any guy who doesn't wear the right label or drive the right car deserves to have his bloodline dwindle and die. what an empowering message!

This book has a handful of good points, especially the description of overly controlling and uptight "Anal Andy." But the standards the authors set for the men they would deign to go out with cut out 90% of the ones worth getting to know.

Guys: If you're attracted to catty, judgmental women who require a lot of upkeep (valet parking to protect their $200 shoes!), buy this book. If you're interested in those of us who won't judge you for parking your own car, wearing an apron when you cook, liking to sing, or being lactose intolerant (really?!), skip it and avoid women who keep it on their coffee tables with zero sense of irony.

The book was hysterical; loaded with laughs.

The page that gave me the biggest belly laugh was the last page in the book. Here are these two authors advising men on NOT being so into themslves (And RIGHTLY so). That they should not be so self absorbed, narscissistic, etc, etc, and so on.

And then on the last page we are told that

-Ellen Rakieten is President of ELLEN RAKIETEN Entertainment and
-Anne Coyle is President and owner of ANNE COYLE Interiors!

The biggest turnoffs?

Imagine being at a party and people are telling others what they do?
"I am Johnny Jones and President and CEO of the Johnny Jones Co."
"Hi! I'm Diva B. Beautiful and I am President and Owner of the Diva B. Beautiful Company"
"Really? I'm Dash Riprock and I'm President and CEO of the Dash Riprock Company"
They spend pages and pages giving belly laughs on Self Absorbed behavior, then on the last page, they let the cat out of the bag!

They are EXPERTS on Self Absorption and it truly takes one to know one.

However, they will always be dateable because they will fit in sooooo well with all the self absorbed males out there!

A VERY funny book. Especially the last page!

"Undateable" is one of those books that starts off hilariously but then completely runs out of steam halfway in. This is because once the authors get the truly "undateable" fashion faux pas, behaviors, and attitudes out of the way, they pad out the rest of the book with filler that is trivial, dumb, shallow, harmless, or contrived. It was like they said, "Okay, we ran out of the really disgusting, crude, and insensitive things that a man could do, say, or wear to turn a woman off, so let's list all the normal things that men do, but write some mean-spirited commentary to make these things seem a lot worse than they really are. That way, we can pad our book out to a nice, thick size and fill our 311 quota of undateable things."

Case in point: why would "owning a cat" make a man undateable? (I think many women would find that kind of cute?). Why are tighty whities "creepy?" Fake swearing makes a man undateable, too? (So swearing like a sailor is so much better?) And what's up with calling bald men with side hair undateable as well? Do the authors really believe that? Or did they just add that as filler? (Methinks filler.)

The authors are so desperate to pad out their book, in fact, that a lot of their list of things that make a man undateable actually contradict each other or are just plain silly. For example, they think a man is undateable if he uses "juvenile terms" for sperm. But what they list as "juvenile" are slang terms that 99% of the adult world uses, including women. Think about it-- what grown adult uses the actual clinical term, "sperm", when talking about it, unless they're biologists having a discussion in a lab, sex ed teachers, a sperm donor at a clinic, or a couple battling infertility? Everyone uses those terms, so what are these two dimwits talking about?

Another thing that takes away from the book is its tone. At times, the authors sound less like two witty adult women than a couple of high school cheerleaders at a slumber party squealing about all the things they hate about their male peers. It's cute at first, but then it becomes obnoxious after awhile.

Faults aside, there are a few laughs to be had in this book, and the design, graphics, and layout are really nice (which is why I still have it). But is it worth buying? Nah, not really.