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Undefiled: Redemption From Sexual Sin, Restoration For Broken Relationships

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Very often when I do radio interviews to support my book The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment the host will ask me, "Is this a particular low point for discernment in the history of the church?" And usually I answer, "I would tend to think so, and yet I think Christians from any period of history would answer the same way. Things always look darkest to our own eyes." This is as true of sex as it is of discernment, I am sure. We look at this sexualized culture with its mainstream acceptance of pornography, we look at a culture that more than ever seems surrendered to sex, and we despair. Yet we need only pick up the Bible to read of other cultures in other times where ritual prostitution was normal and where even churches accepted outrageous sexual sin to realize that this has always been a problem and will, in all likelihood, always be a problem. But it is in our particular cultural context that Dr. Harry Schaumburg brings his new book Undefiled. For decades Dr. Schaumburg has been counseling Christian couples and much of what he has learned in all those years is distilled into the pages of this book.

The subtitle of Undefiled is Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships. I think the word "redemption" is particularly instructive and particularly important. Today the vast majority of people enter marriage with a complex and often extensive sexual history, whether that involves only one partner or hundreds, whether it involves abuse or pornography or anything else. It is the rare couple, even the rare Christian couple, who can attest on their wedding night that this sexual experience is their first. This means that almost every sexual relationship is in need of redemption, in need of God's grace to heal it, to renew it, to strengthen it. Thankfully we know that God is able and willing and eager to do this, to redeem sexuality that has strayed far from his purposes for it. But it is not only fresh, new marriages that suffer; many long-term marriages are rocked by confessions of adultery or pornography addiction. These marriages are in need of both redemption and restoration. And that is exactly the purpose of this book, to give the reader the tools to begin to rebuild what has been broken, to restore what has been lost.

One of the great strengths of this book is that Schaumburg never allows sexual sin to become a kind of psychological disorder. He does not shy away from calling a spade a spade, or calling a sin a sin. He avoids the all-too-popular therapeutic "disease" approach and focuses instead on the sinful human heart and its evil desires. And having laid bear the heart he is ready to shine upon it the light of the gospel. This he does with precision and with grace, with a gentle forcefulness strengthened by the truths of Scripture.

Woven throughout the book is the story of a couple named Jim and Carrie whose story is all-too-typical with one spouse betraying the other. From chapter-to-chapter Schaumburg tells of how he counseled them, how he brought the gospel to bear on their awful situation. And he tells of the redemption of their relationship. This story provides a framework of sorts, to give examples of what he teaches. Of course the book contains many other stories and anecdotes, collected during many years of dealing with couples as they face their deepest troubles. And yet so often we see how God can and does restore those relationships by extending grace to the hurting.

The book includes a list of helpful appendices that deal with topics such as masturbation, how to react to marital unfaithfulness, sexual dysfunction, divorce, modesty and the like. I just noticed as well that at [...] Schaumburg now offers a study guide called Sexual Redemption. It is "a fifteen week program for individuals, couples and groups. It guides the reader through each chapter of Undefiled providing Bible study, questions for personal reflection, resources for further study, a section for women, and a section for men." I am sure this will prove useful as supplementary material.

In the opening pages of Undefiled Schaumburg says, "To be spiritually mature, you must be sexually mature; to be sexually mature, you must be spiritually mature." This book seeks to achieve both of those goals, to help Christians grow up both in spiritual maturity and in their understanding of God's great gift of sex. This is a book that, when read by those in the midst of dark days, will bring comfort and reassurance that God can make all things new. It is a book that will also be of benefit to those who have never faced such dark days. Not only will it equip them to bring comfort to the hurting but it will also arm them with Scriptural truths about God's plan for sex. It is a book for anyone who wants to know redemption from sexual sin.

This past summer (July 09) I learned that my husband, a devoted family man and church leader, was involved in an illicit sexual relationship with a woman in our church. One week after this revelation I learned that there had been a previous affair, several months earlier, with another woman (who was like a sister to me) in our small church. Both of these women were regularly attending a Bible study I was leading at the time. I was devastated beyond imagination.

Since then I have read more than a dozen books on this topic. Most were Christian in perspective but not all. Although many were helpful, none spoke to the essence of the issue of sexual sin. Nothing I read addressed this topic at its core until Undefiled. Undefiled is a comprehensive and insightful resource to clarify the myths of our sexual behavior. I have not found any other resource like it.

My husband and I have been tremendously enlightened by Dr. Schaumburg's timely wisdom. This book is helpful and healing on so many levels. The information contained is the result of many years of counseling. It is founded upon the Biblical scriptures and compellingly conveys the heart of God in regard to our human sexuality. Dr. Schaumburg's passion for seeing people live in authentic relationship with God and in freedom from sexual bondage is apparent on every page. If you can only buy one book on this subject, without question it should be UNDEFILED.

Dr. Schaumburg honestly and gently articulates the truth of God's Word about the human condition and as a result, he offers hope for real, lasting change.

Though the context of the book is sexual brokenness, the truths in this book can be applied to all forms of behavior. Hope is offered for real and lasting change by going beyond behavior management and clinical therapy models to the timeless and relevant biblical models of brokenness and restoration by the cross of Jesus Christ.

The message is for all. "Undefiled" will greatly strengthen those who have tried the shallow and typical church programs and found them lacking.

The gospel is good news. You will find it here.

Oh what a difference Undefiled has made not only in our marriage but in our personal individual walk with God. Personally attending the Undefiled BIC Workshop under Dr. Harry's counseling is the wisest time and money we have ever spent. Dr. Harry has been graced with a supernatural gift of cutting through all the fluff and bringing the Truth from above down to earth. If you really want to know the Truth and want help more than you want your own way then buy the book! Make sure you get the study guide which is not in print yet but if you visit [...] and ask for it I am sure Dr. Harry will get it to you! He is the "real deal" this is his calling and work in life! May God multiply the breed of Dr. Harry Schaumburgs.

Walter and Brenda Howell

Valdosta, GA

Psalm 139:16

Jeremiah 29:11

My husband and I attended Dr. Schaumburg's intensive workshop in Colorado and God used the truth he shares in this book to start a work in our lives that has changed EVERYTHING about us and our marriage for the better. Dr. Schaumburg is not only experienced in helping people and marriages for many years, but has been given great insight by God concerning sexuality. When I say sexuality, I am not just talking about sex...and neither is he! Our sexuality includes our gender and how we fulfill the role God has given us as male and female. This book lights the path to sexual redemption for anyone struggling with sexual sin (fornication-escpecially pornography or adultery...single or married). I hope many singles will read this book and find sexual redemption that will save their future marriage A LOT of heartache and I pray married couples will not give up in the face of their great pain and apply the truth of God in this book to their lives and marriage for sexual redemption. My advice...skip the so-called "Christian" counseling and all the psychology that feeds narcissim in us and read this book instead. It will help you get your focus on God..."the Author and Finisher of our faith"...so you can continue to a place of REAL healing from sexual sin and dysfunction. Thank you Dr. Schaumburg! We love you!

This book was recommended to me during a class that I was teaching for men which dealt with sexual purity, by a friend who actually counseled with Dr. Shaumburg. I ordered the book and have not been able to put it down. Dr. Shaumburgs approach to this subject is wholistic in that he does not seek to place the blame for or deliverence from sexual promiscuity and addiction on any particular person, gender or theory. Rather, Dr. Shaumburg deals with the heart of the matter from the most authoratative source available, the Word of God. I was actually able to identify some things in my life that before now I never really understood or even knew that I was up against. I now have a resource that gives me the information and a guaranteed strategy to win the fight and struggle that I believe all humans at some time or another face. I strongly recommend that this book be required reading for every person who is trainning to enter into or already involved in ministry as well as ANY PERSON WHO TRULY WANT SEXUAL REDEMPTION AND HEALING.

Dr. Schaumburg's book is the best I have read regarding sexual sin or sexual addictions. This would include books that address sexual addictions from a secular viewpoint or a Christian viewpoint. What is so good is that he doesn't mince words and gets right to the point of the problem. It is not really a self-help book--do this and you will be okay--but he does make plain what needs to be done to get the scourge of sexual sin out of your life. This book could be republished, taking out the references to sexual issues, and it would still be highly relevant to our daily lives, how we see the world and how we think and live.

Like some of the others who have written reviews I too have sat under Dr. Schaumburg's teaching and counseling. He knows what he is writing about and this book pulls no punches but tells the truth in a plain and understandable way. If you truly want to be free, or just want to understand what goes on in people's lives who get trapped by habitual sin carefully read this book and go through the study guide that you can get from Dr. Schaumburg's web site. It can change your life, it has mine.

This book could not be more timely. In the world we live in, this book weeds out the lies and speaks truth. The truth truly does set you free.

This Christ centered book is a must for any couple suffering from sexual sin. Couples can work through the book together and complete the short assignment/discussion at the end of each chapter.

Undefiled is an excellent source of truth in an area that was longing for a biblical viewpoint. There are many books and programs out there that tell us sexual sin is a disease, a problem that we must deal with like it is an illness that we hope we (or a loved one) don't catch. There is an attraction to this "illness" philosophy since it abdicates personal responsibility, but the reality is it also brings a lifetime sentence.

But in this revolutionary approach, Dr. Schaumberg points out the true issue is the heart of the matter and- even more importantly- how to restore what has been broken. It is an excellent book for anyone, since we are all sexual beings, but it is an essential book for those who are standing (or laying in a crumpled heap) in the ashes from the destruction of sexual sin wondering what to do.

This book is a minimal investment of time and money, but what you can get out of it is beyond measure. Give it a try.