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Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up and (Re)learning to Live Together Happily Paperback – June 1, 2010

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Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up and (Re)learning to Live Together Happily + Together Again: A Creative Guide to Successful Multigenerational Living + When Your Parent Moves In: Every Adult Child's Guide to Living with an Aging Parent
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 230 pages
  • Publisher: Lyons Press; First edition (June 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0762758597
  • ISBN-13: 978-0762758593
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #841,276 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


“In her author’s note, Newman (The Book of No, Parenting an Only Child) compares the mystery of functioning families to the splitting of the atom and the prevention of global warming. Living in harmony with one's returning child and/or family or one’s parents is about as complicated. To help with the resurgence of this phenomenon, Newman offers practical considerations, from protecting privacy and sticking to food preferences to dealing with money and respecting others’ time. Verdict: Newman covers all the bases, and her book is essential reading for those facing this situation. Following her advice can make the difference between enjoying the richness of another generation or simply tolerating it.”

Library Journal (starred Web review)


“A ‘how-to’ guide for every imaginable glitch that can and will arise. [Newman] makes it seem fun, adventurous, and a compassionate journey full of surprises, joys.”
William Poy Lee, author of The Eighth Promise: An American Son Pays Tribute to his  Taiwanese Mother


“Susan Newman provides a master class in establishing boundaries, setting realistic expectations, handling the reversion into childhood roles, and guilt.”
Sharon Naylor, author of Home from the Honeymoon


“This innovative book will normalize, infuse dignity, inspire hope.”
—Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, author of Liking the Child You Love


“Wonderfully insightful and comprehensive.”
—Susan Ginsberg, EdD, editor/publisher of Work & Family Life Newsletter


“[A] down-to-earth, straightforward book . . . [that] deals with the sensitive issues.”

—Allan Zullo, coauthor of A Boomer’s Guide to Grandparenting  


“Dr. Newman’s message is reassuring and reverses the conventional wisdom that coming home is a burden.”
—Irene S. Levine, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry, New York University School of Medicine, author of Best Friends Forever

“They're baaaaaaaaack! Fortunately, life with your grown-up kids returned home doesn't have to be a horror movie—at least, not after you read this book! (And, of course, after you leave it next to the milk and cookies for when the dear ones get home.)”

—Lenore Skenazy, founder, freerangekids.com and author of Free-Range Kids


“In Under One Roof Again, Dr. Susan Newman provides well researched, detailed, insightful, and empowering advice to all parties of the ‘back living at home again’ equation. This long overdue, up-to-date, innovative book will normalize, infuse dignity, inspire hope, and offer concrete expert advice for the ever-changing needs of the dynamically evolving, all-too human institution called ‘family.’ I highly recommend this outstanding book to all families facing the demands and challenges of having loved ones of all ages who return home.”

—Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, licensed psychologist, author of 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child and Liking the Child You Love

“This book  is such a timely, helpful and upbeat guide for the many parents and children who find themselves living together again. Newman, by interviewing hundreds of subjects, has put her finger on the essential things they need to know. She offers guidelines for attitude changes; the available options in many situations, such as time and money dilemmas; and covers each person’s expectations and gives you helpful clues to what your family members may be thinking. A really important aid for families in this situation, guaranteed to help them create a comfortable and mutually happy situation out of dire necessity.”

--Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka "Dr. Romance") psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage


“Dr. Susan Newman has written a compelling guide for parents and their adult children who are faced with the new family dynamics of all living together. During these difficult times, her down-to-earth, straight-forward book deals with the sensitive issues that crop up in unanticipated living arrangements. Her insights and advice, especially involving multi-generational households, offer reassurance and guidance to turn these changing relationships into stronger, more loving family units.   

--Allan Zullo, co-author, A Boomer’s Guide to Grandparenting 


“In 21st Century America, where many adults, sometimes with kids in tow, find themselves moving back in with their parents, here comes a loving, practical, and well-paced book on how several generations can successfully live together—again. Susan Newman not only provides a “how-to” guide for every imaginable glitch that can and will arise, but she makes it seem a fun, adventurous, and compassionate journey full of surprises, joys, and challenges where families will work things out lovingly—for family love endures while other loves dissipate or break down. There’s no notion of reentry failure here, for as Dr. Newman points out, multigenerational American families were once the norm and it’s the post-World II nuclear family that is the anomaly.

         As a Chinese American, multigenerational households are familiar territory. Still, I know its tricky business and even I would want this book sitting front and center on our living room coffee table if I were to live this way again. And one on the breakfast table and another on the bookshelf and yet another in...in fact, everyone under my roof must have their own well-thumbed copy!

--William Poy Lee, author of The Eighth Promise: An American Son Pays Tribute to his Toisanese Mother



From the Back Cover

The must-have guide for living together peacefully with your adult family members
From money matters to boundaries, Under One Roof Again squarely addresses the inevitable and complicated issues that arise when formerly parent-child relationships become adult-adult ones. Social psychologist Susan Newman provides solid advice for avoiding the snags and building stronger family ties when family members rejoin each other for long or short time periods.

More About the Author

As a social psychologist, for decades I have focused on relationship and family issues from enriching parent-child and family connections to reaching a sensible balance between work and family, from preventing child abduction and alcohol abuse to getting along better with your parents when you are all adults, and more. The material for my articles and books comes from extensive interviewing and evaluation often combined with the studies and findings of other psychologists, psychiatrists, and related experts. My goal is to provide readers the most accurate, objective, and useful insights available on the topic.

I believe conflicts and disturbing problems can be eased, if not solved, and most relationships improved when people are willing to make the effort. My books are created and designed to give you the information and tools to help you succeed in making a better, happier life for yourself, your children, your parents, partner, friends, and work colleagues.

Those considering or raising an only child will find interesting discussions at my Psychology Today magazine blog: Singletons

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Avid reader on June 2, 2010
Format: Paperback
Great, helpful read on a timely subject! Based on extensive interviews, Newman gives sound, sensible, easily doable tips that cover every conceivable problem facing adult family members sharing the same space and everyone from grads to grandparents. Better yet, when it comes to the toughest situations, she gives options: Grown kid returning home, say, and not comfortable telling that parent with a tendency to micromanage "I'll ask for your advice if I need it"? Try "I'll feel so much better about myself if I take charge"--or any of the other alternates she suggests. Hard to see how you could implement even a fraction of her advice without making the experience of second-time-around living together easier, more enjoyable, and, just possibly, great family fun.
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By S. Smith on February 9, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We have chosen to live with our adult children on the same property (but different houses) and wanted an overview of possible problems to address. This book has been helpful and also provided interesting anecdotes of families who went through the same process. I would recommend it.
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By BB on September 30, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book arrived quickly and in excellent (NEW) condition. The book is aimed primarily at people trying to reconcile living with family again. Son moved back in? Mom? How does one deal with this? That is this book, unexpected permanent company. However, I am planning on living with my parents in a Multi-generational house, there is NO book for that....that I know of. This book did give us many things to think about and provided much concrete advice on how to have a positive relationship with those unexpected family members moving back in. There are vignettes (small example stories) throughout the book that are real situations and the author gives advice on how to avoid or plan for these situations. I would read it again, even though it did not truly fill the want I have.
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