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223 of 306 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
OVER-HYPED PSYCHOBABBLE THAT'S ALL FILLER, NO THRILLER..., February 1, 2007
This review is from: Undercover Sex Signals: A Pickup Guide For Guys (Paperback)
... I was really looking forward to reading this book, but page after page, it was nothing more than hot air promising to enlighten the reader on this, that and the other thing but never delivering the goods on how to actually score - all it was were her personal theories bolstered by study after study of "findings" (some of these studies involving experiments with rodents, of all things)... however, most of those findings are hardly conclusive when you take into account the most critical factor of all - what women say and what they actually do are often in conflict (the author admits this herself on page 106).
For instance, take the typical gal who bemoans the lack of decent single guys as she describes her ideal man as practically being the nerd-next-door, and yet she'll only throw herself at every "bad boy" that crosses her path. One can only conclude that women are attracted to nice guys in theory only; they're ultimately ruled by their emotions and have no control over who turns them on, no matter how they may try to intellectualize what kind of guy they claim to be attracted to.
More than anything, women have very strong survival instincts and need to feel financially secure. That mindset usually leads them right to the straight-laced, button-down type with favourable income-earning potential who can fulfill that need (usually the guy she'll marry), while being sexually attracted to an entirely different type of guy altogether (the dude that rocks her world who she'll carry on an affair with).
How do I know this? Because at least 25% of the women I meet are married (or otherwise attached) and, usually after a few drinks and a couple of frisky slow dances, they'll make it very clear to me in no uncertain terms that they're in the market for a torrid affair, no strings attached, would I be interested? The reasons vary, but usually it's because they're not physically and/or sexually attracted to their mates and, in many cases, apparently never have been.
After reading so many books on the subject of picking up women (from both male and female authors), I'm now 100% convinced that your best advice will come from guys who know from experience what it takes to score. A female can't teach you how to pick her up and close the deal because:
1) every woman's level of resistance is different - some are easy to pick up, others are next to impossible;
2) every woman's concept of male beauty and appealing characteristics varies from one to the next;
3) because they're always mindful of their reputation among their social peers, many women believe that the only way they can be picked up for a one-night stand is if they have an overwhelming physical attraction to you in the first place or are otherwise flat-out drunk - most gals are confident that their "defense shield" is impenetrable and don't take into account the smooth-talking joe with all the right moves who can charm them into the sack;
4) you can't teach "chemistry" - either it's there or it isn't, and it can only be gauged in face-to-face situations;
5) what women THINK they want in theory and what they actually find themselves attracted to in real life are, more often than not, nothing alike.
As for the body language stuff? Puh-leeze. Even the average frustrated chump would be able to decipher 90% of these so-called "undercover sex signals" (fluffing her hair? licking her lips? sticking out her chest? hello, McFly! is anyone home?).
Reading this book was like listening to someone build up an elaborate joke but forgetting what the punch line was - it just didn't deliver.
Bottom line: don't bother with books about how to pick up women written by women, because most of the time, they don't even know what they really want in the first place. They might scorn the handsome, muscular ladies' man in theory, but when they're feeling sexy and want to get their freak on, guess who they'll throw themselves at?
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Lowndes has a case of gender bias that would knock a buzzard off a dung heap!, June 7, 2011
This review is from: Undercover Sex Signals: A Pickup Guide For Guys (Paperback)
I will admit I learned a few things in this book, but nothing I couldn't get out of 15 minutes of perusing COSMO or some other chick magazine. The level of credibility is so low that Lowndes even points to the fact that she has a bibliography (oh, wow, it must be true. the chick's got footnotes!).
It isn't total trash, but it is written for a 6th grader who has no self respect. I can't believe how frequently this woman condescends to men. It's like she gives you a dog whistle and goes, "Here, boy! Admit you're a moron and I'll teach you how to get some nookie!"
Oh, puh-LEAZE!
The vast majority of research and "science" behind this book was conducted during the feminist and post-feminist era. This is the age of "No means no," and (depending on how you view matters) *rape consciousness* or "rape-hysteria." Men are very on guard re what can happen to them legally if they put a foot wrong. And men, as this author repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly remarks, rely MUCH more on the explicit logic of the spoken word than her "dangling shoe" or "jewelry tug." Men were more brash and daring in the 30s and 40s (they could afford to be); today they are worried about going to jail for raising their voices or losing their jobs for "leering."
A perfect example of this: on page 48: "For example, since different cultures have different `comfort zones' in regard to how close they stand to strangers, an American man would probably think a Latin woman was coming on to him if she stood too close to him by the water cooler at work. So he'd make a pass at the Latin lovely only to get slapped, first with rejection and then with a sexual harassment suit."
Let's analyze this paragraph. First, I'm not sold on many men being dumb enough to make an actual pass at a coworker in today's workplace. I don't even think it's sane to date a coworker, but this author is positing a man will make a physical pass on company grounds?! How stupid is this guy? Now you add the potentiality of a lawsuit for misinterpretation of a subtle physical cue and what do you have? One more example of this author's insistence that all misinterpretations of her subtle physical cues are his fault when he's the one facing social condemnation and a possible jail sentence!
The writer's tone is often condescending to men to the point of hilarity. Very often I got the feeling that she regards men as being so stupid it is a miracle we are still alive. I was impressed with much of the book, but it's the last one I read by her. It's a matter of perception: You can say "women are geniuses at physical signaling and men just suck at picking up the cues," or you can also say "Women prefer to use physical signals even though men clearly ignore them all so why don't women just learn to speak plain English?" No matter what the differentiation between men and women, men are made to look like they are at fault for the social disconnect. If that were empirically true, this species would have gone extinct 300,000 years ago.
Quite often, the author comes up with a very funny metaphor or simile ("as confused as a goat on Astroturf"), but mostly her attempts at humor either fall flat or merely demean her authority as a scientific researcher. Yes, some humor helps a lot, but a lot of humor makes you look like a clown rather than a scientist. It can also obfuscate your main point. She tries to put in an original (well, it's better than a cliche) metaphor or simile on EVERY page...which just makes the book read like a bad web site.
The photos are very helpful, but she should have a web site (she does) that has videos of these signals being played out (she doesn't). The physicality would have really helped.
The author does make a few distinctions between young women and older, more experienced and sophisticated women, but I would have liked to seen more definition between age groups.
The bottom line: guys waste their time reading relationship books written by women. Most of the other 1-star reviewers say exactly that, and it's true. There is so much *girl power* bullschnitzle in this book it really makes me want to yak.
At least she got one thing right. On page 58 she admits what all guys eventually learn about all women:
"...women always lie to protect their ego."
That alone was worth the price of the book. Finally, after 10,000 years, a woman admits it. When a woman's social status is threatened, they will cling to the most ridiculous lies on the planet (e.g., feminism).
*****UPDATE AUGUST 25, 2011*****
I just bought The Flirting Bible by Fran Greene. It is everything this book is and wildly more, far better, and doesn't have the supremacist fembot attitude. Highly recommended if you want to learn body language for romance!
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16 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It is 55% body language, July 11, 2007
This review is from: Undercover Sex Signals: A Pickup Guide For Guys (Paperback)
How can we tell women are interested? Are women constantly giving us signals that we are just not picking up on, or that some men are picking up on, and acting on successfully?
Well, when it comes to body language, most men are oblivious to about 95% of the buying signals that women are giving out, or misinterpreting them.
There are photographs throughout of women demonstrating the various signals, which are supported by science.
Imagine you're walking into a bar, you see a woman, she holds eye contact for several moments then looks away and down. Is she interested? How do you respond? Subtleties in your response make or break the situation.
Experts say only 7% of communication is verbal, 38% is tonality, and 55% is body language. Which is better to know, the 7% or the 55%?
When you are talking to a woman, should you lead by turning your body towards her, or let her lead by moving her body towards you? If you don't know the answer, you need this book.
Leil understands the way men think, and speaks to the male point of view, and eerily at times seems to know what we are thinking.
Perhaps, the single most interesting and persuasive story for me concerns her aesthetically challenged friend Dan the dentist, a ladies man. Dan's insights persuaded me that being able to identify and interpret these signals will vastly improve your success with women. The idea that men go to a bar and obsess about the unattainable woman, while oblivious to signs of interest from other women, rings true, and fine tuning your perceptions will totally change your success.
Some of the signals that women give are unconscious, particularly when it comes to rapport. Your ability to identify these signals as clear indicators of interest are a roadmap to your eventual success.
Why are women attracted to bad boys and jerks? She has good insights into this.
If you are like me you may think you know a lot, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so if you are feeling hungry for more, then you need to add this to your shopping cart.
I trust you find this helpful.
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