Customer Reviews

Underland

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When I picked up UNDERLAND I didn't know it was part of a series. I just picked it up because I'm always ready for a story involving Nazis and flying saucers - so when starting out I was already behind as to what had happened before. But, to my surprise, Farren did a solid job of filling me in on the backstory, the players and the events up till now that it didn't so much as get in the way of the story, as help to carry it along... but this dosen't mean that it helped to complete the story either. UNDERLAND is a fun book, but like most vampire novels they tend to get crushed under the weight of not only their own lore, but the lore of all vampires that have come before them. There's aspects of Rice here. L. K. Hamilton as well, even Cussler like plotting helps to drive the story along (if Dirk Pitt became a vampire - or as Renquist likes to claim: a Nosferatu, then he'd be a bit like Renquist). And while I was captivated by the set up and the opening chapters, Farren complete loses the reader by the end of the book by giving us a simple "cut and run" ending where everything is blown up (thanks to a handy atomic weapon), crashed and burned (the advanced Nazi UFO technology is crashed and buried) and anyone not making it to the next book is killed off (anyone human). It's all over too fast at the end, and instead of working around the problem Farren just opts to vaporize it. In fact, I'm not even sure why this book is even part of the same series. There is simply no clear reason why Renquist, or the rest of his clan, should be involved as they really don't do anything. In the end some good ideas, some solid writing, but too long to get to an end that's over too fast for it have any meaning. For fans of the series only.

...to show them how completely dreadful a book can be. I wrote a long, eloquent review of this book on my blog. Here, let me just say that if you find a copy at a thrift store, have a good sense of humor, and an afternoon to waste, you too can have a "this is the worst book I ever read all of the way through" experience.

Farren took on a bit too much with Underland. This most recent attempt to mix the fantasy world of his nosferatu with history and myth falls flat when compared to past successes in the series. Explaining Merlin in More Than Mortal was one thing, but taking on Lovecraft, Nazis, and UFOs in one book was a bit too ambitious. After investing so much time and effort in introducing supposedly integral nosferatu, Farren chooses to focus on several humans in Underland. Darklost in this book are thrown about like so much vampiric flotsam that the importance of being nosferatu is diminished. While Rehnquist is a fascinating character, Farren spends far too much time with him as opposed to other characters such as Julia and the intimidating Lupo, who does nothing but hold Victor's coat in this book. Past characters barely appear on Farren's radar with only a mention of Marieko, Destry, Sagal, Brandon Wales, and Elaine Dance. Other colony members barely warrant but a few lines of dialogue from Farren. The Merlin is cast off as if he never represented the major threat to Rehnquist and instead, we get subterranean Nazis, psychic lizards, and yet another darklost. Underland is a major disappointment that hopefully does not represent the final word on the characters Farren has introduced and readers have appreciated, characters that deserve much better.

NOTE: This review was accidentally deleted by Amazon.com. I'm rewriting it from memory, including my dated - though accurate - prediction of the expiration of the Assault Weapons Ban.

Within the first few pages of Mick Farren's novel Underland it becomes obvious the author is a capital "L" Liberal. (Just to be up-front about my own political beliefs, according to an on-line test I am a Moderate Libertarian Conservative.) In Farren's reality, President George W. Bush, Jr. knowingly allows the existence of a "dirty tricks" government agency famous for torture, brainwashing and murder. Along with much explanation of how the United States is a horrible, horrible, repressive society, we are informed this is the agency that "prepped Sirhan before he whacked Bobby Kennedy," "trained children educated from infancy as bait for highly placed pedophiles in foreign governments," etc. You just want to give your mind an enema after reading this garbage.

A picture of President Bush has pride of place in one of the organization's conference rooms, and main character Renquist stares at it thoughtfully while pondering the lack of power and justice found in democracies. Herbert Walker Grael, the agency's elderly director, is said to have "actually controlled the unraveling mind of President Ronald Reagan in his latter days in the White House." Later, Grael refers to President Reagan's advisors as "Reagan's retards." I wonder if Farren, described on the book's flyleaf as "British, living in Los Angeles" understands or cares just how offensive all this will be to many Americans.

Of course that paragon of scrupulous morality, Bill Clinton, "had done his Arkansas best to uproot Grael and banish him to a long overdue retirement." [We pause to note that Clinton's "best" didn't include simply spilling the beans during one of his many live press conferences.] "Seemingly Grael had swung his blackmail and disinformation machine into play and, using Clinton's tasted for women....poisoned the air around the president." Yes, now the truth can be told. It was all a conspiracy.

Farren is also very anti-gun. Thus we're treated to this exchange:

"Renquist's lip curled in contempt. 'Firearms? A nosferatu doesn't fight his battles with firearms.'

'Never?'

'Never.'

'Isn't that little shortsighted?' [I would have said, 'incredibly stupid,' myself.]

'We have powers far beyond those of humans, and little need to employ their weak reliance on...devices.'

'They'll be coming at you with guns.'

'That still isn't reason enough to reach for one myself. If nothing else, the reliance on firearms makes one lazy.'"

Strangely, during all the tens of thousands of hours of practice that led to my becoming a Washington state combat pistol champion in 2002, I never once realized I was being lazy.

Then we have this sentence, during a scene where a naked woman holding two Glocks threatens several men behind a sheet of bulletproof glass:

"The NSA-FEMA-issue Glock 9mm autos came with the now-illegal seventeen-round clip, and twenty-eight impacts surely should be enough to blow out the transparent wall."

I've made my living since 1992 writing articles for gun magazines, and there are so many errors in that one sentence it's appalling. I don't expect a writer to be a gun expert, but if you're going to have guns in your story, you owe it to the reader to do SOME research.

To start with, the detachable box that holds cartridges and inserts into an auto pistol's butt is not a "clip." Within some guns we do have what are called clips. A clip is a non-mechanical device, i.e. it has no moving parts, it's just a piece of metal, designed to hold cartridges for storage or for insertion into a magazine. A magazine is a mechanical device, it has moving parts, designed to hold cartridges for insertion into a firing chamber. Imagine how jarring you'd find it if you were a computer programmer, and a writer cared so little about getting his facts straight he referred to a RAM as a ROM. I mean who cares, they're almost the same thing. Right?

In 1994 in the United States was passed a law prohibiting domestic manufacture, or importation from other countries, of detachable box magazines holding over ten rounds of ammunition. At that time, high capacity magazines previously existent in-country were grandfathered, they're perfectly legal to own, use and carry. Over-10-round magazines have never been illegal. There was a 10-year sunset period built into that law, and after 2004 it will be nothing but a fading memory.

Finally, "twenty-eight impacts." A fully loaded Glock 17 holds 18 rounds: 17 in the magazine, one in the chamber. Even if Farren doesn't know an auto pistol has an "extra" round in the firing chamber, he's simply going by magazine capacity, I still don't see how he gets "two times 17 equals 28." Not only does Mick Farren know very little about guns, and is apparently too lazy to do the research necessary to learn, he can't even do simple math.

At which point I quit reading. I could live with Farren's outsider, elitist insults directed at American presidents I admire. I could forgive sloppy, lazy errors in my area of professional expertise. But not both.

It's too bad, really. With more willingness to do research, a lot less Liberal snottiness, and the addition (pun intended) of basic arithmetical skills, Mick Farren could be a pretty good writer.

It used to be that vampire stores were, first and foremost, horror stories. In the dark ages, long before Buffy, audiences read stories of evil creatures that lived forever, shunned sunlight, and looked at humans as self-delivering meals. Now years later, the Buffy vampire is truest to form, and every new author has to find a new variation on an old theme. Mick Farren's vampires, in his fourth novel in the Victor Renquist series, as of the 'there is a barely believable explanation for all this' school.

Of course, this depends on whether the average vampire junkie will swallow the idea that countless millennia ago aliens landed creating several biological species to keep our forbearers in check. Naturally, one such species were the Nosferatu, who outlasted their masters, and haunt the night to this day.

For most of the first three volumes of this series, vampire history wasn't all that important. Farren's habit being to play nest politics against an action plot. But, gradually, his vampires have become more enmeshed in the modern, occult world around them. In 'Underland,' with its strange mélange of vampire, alien, Nazi, and prehistoric themes, the vampires are completely believable, but the plot stretches ones ability to willingly suspend disbelief.

If you don't mind a stirring story of a master vampire forcibly recruited by a top secret government agency to descend into an underworld culture run by the Nazi fugitives of World War II you will discover that Farren's writing talent is considerable. Indeed, this is far from the 250 page pot-boiler that vampire lovers have come to expect. The writer takes the time to build character and indulge in scene building. I thing those readers who are ready to spend some time with the characters and their somewhat outlandish story will find much to enjoy

Farren took on a bit too much with Underland. This most recent attempt to mix the fantasy world of his nosferatu with history and myth falls flat when compared to past successes in the series. Explaining Merlin in More Than Mortal was one thing, but taking on Lovecraft, Nazis, and UFOs in one book was a bit too ambitious. After investing so much time and effort in introducing supposedly integral nosferatu, Farren chooses to focus on several humans in Underland. Darklost in this book are thrown about like so much vampiric flotsam that the importance of being nosferatu is diminished. While Rehnquist is a fascinating character, Farren spends far too much time with him as opposed to other characters such as Julia and the intimidating Lupo, who does nothing but hold Victor's coat in this book. Past characters barely appear on Farren's radar with only a mention of Marieko, Destry, Sagal, Brandon Wales, and Elaine Dance. Other colony members barely warrant but a few lines of dialogue from Farren. The Merlin is cast off as if he never represented the major threat to Rehnquist and instead, we get subterranean Nazis, psychic lizards, and yet another darklost. Underland is a major disappointment that hopefully does not represent the final word on the characters Farren has introduced and readers have appreciated, characters that deserve much better.

Three things that should never be mixed in any form of writing what so ever are Nazis, Vampires and the hallow earth theory.

Let me just say that this book reminded me of those guys that used to wear black in High School they would drone on and on about how depressed they were and how all of their dreams were going to come true when they got out.

In that regard at least the similalarites are unmistakable(that and all the Goths bad in High School had a pasty white vampirish complexion). Rehnquist while trying to act the part of the tough guy seems to come in contact with a bunch of people that fight/deduce/debate/negotiate their way out the nearest wet paper bag. His romantic relationship with Thyme Bridewell was particularly unbearable.

In the end I was confused the mostly two dimensional characters do not go anywhere or achieve much of anything. The characters in the went down into the earth and I was still on the surface scratching my head still trying to figure out where I lost track of the plot.

Overall-This guy makes the likes of William W. Johnstone and James Axler seem like John Steinbeck. The characters needed to be fleshed out and so did the plot.

The Paranormal Operations and Research Branch of the National Security Agency needs inhuman help so agents abduct Nosferatu Victor Renquist. They take their guest to a special locale buried deep in the Paranormal Warfare Facility to insure no outside interference as they coerce Victor into cooperating via a laser beam ready to turn his eyeball and brain into a fried egg. The century old director Herbert "Old Man" Grael demands Victor assist the agency with infiltrating the Nazi UNDERLAND facility.

Though he would prefer to tell the American undercover government agency to stick it where the sun does not shine, Victor puts together a team consisting of his most loyal friend, an NSA operative, and a darklost in betweener originally intended as a snack. However, greeting the small squad is a lot more than just the Nazi survivors. For beneath the surface mantle resides a thriving planet-wide civilization that worships the Dhrakuh Central Mind tied to visitors from outer space.

UNDERLAND is simply mixing Jules Verne, H.G. and Orson Wells, and Bram Stoker into the world of Lovecraft, something only the insane or the superconfident would dream let alone dare doing. Yet Mick Farren accomplishes this seemingly impossible feat with a wild blending of science fiction, fantasy, horror, and historical into an exhilarating modern day thriller. Though the story line contains a bit too many sidebars for us mortals to fully follow, fans of each genre will appreciate this strong third vampire entry that features the extraordinary imagination and talent of Mr. Farren.

Harriet Klausner

That can be the only reason for Renquist having degenerated into a mini-Moore with blood on his breath. Mick Farren's vicious attacks on Presidents Bush & Reagan are really not the fare I would serve were my goal producing a entertaining vampire/horror novel. If Mick Farren's goal were to create a vampire who would spout vile & childish insults directed at Republican Presidents intermixed with move-on.org conspiracy theories, why didn't he just name him Ward Churchquest, Al Frankquest, Sean Pennquest or Al Gorqest? Sadly, the political hate speech (all tired, worn cliches from the radical left) in this supposed "vampire" novel left me unable to complete it. Prior reviewer Duane Thomas did a superb job in detailing much of Mr Farren's nonsensical attacks on Republicans, the U.S. Government, and conservative ideology. I considered saying that Joseph Goebbels would be at home with propaganda of this nature, but won't..after all comparing Americans to nazi's is under patent to the liberals of America. I suppose Mr Farren is filling a niche of some sorts by creating a vampire hero for America's blue states. Still, it is never a pleasant experience to pick up a book, and be too offended to complete it.

To make a long story short, unless you are one of the folks who moved to Canada or France after the last election, save your money. For a interesting and unusual vampire series, try E.E. Knight and his "Vampire World" series. Good stuff for all political persuasions.