Customer Reviews

Why Can't I Make People Understand? Discovering the Validation Those with Chronic Illness Seek and Why (Conquering the Confusions of Chronic Illness)

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I had really high hopes for this book, based on the other reviews I read. However, I was very disappointed with the content overall. This book is not a comfort for those with ICI, it is more of a "stop whining and get going" handbook. And while I can appreciate the author's intent, the language of the book felt harsh and inflexible. For me, the book Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired: Living with Invisible Chronic Illness, by Paul J. Donoghue and Mary Elizabeth Siegel, was more helpful.

If you have a chronic illness you will feel like you aren't so alone with this feeling when you read Lisa's book. It is a frustrating part of chronic illness Lisa gives some practical advice on how to deal with this problem. It doesn't make it totally go away but it gives you something to work with. I give away alot of books when I am done with them but this one I have kept and reread it periodically so I can cope better. Another good book on this subject I've gotten recently is called," Just Fine: Unmasking chronic concealed chronic illness and pain" by Carol Sveilich,MA. It's all different chronic illnesses with suggestions and people's story with photos of them. Lisa Copen is a person who has chronic illness so she knows where we are coming from.

I purchased "Why Can't I Make Them Understand?, by Lisa Copen," about a year ago and apparently it was a help to me because I had it marked at numerous places.

I pulled it off the shelf to read it a second time because I'm going through a very difficult time emotionally as the Lupus with CNS involvement is progressing. I also have several other illnesses such as OA; FM ; Epilepsy; Cognitive Dysfunction, etc.

My recent EEG revealed that the left side of my brain is functioning more slowly than the right, which would explain why the loss of balance and my mental abilities are getting worse.

I turned once again to this excellent book because at a time when I need my family's support more than ever, they don't seem to be giving credence to my worsening illness. They all love me very much and have always been supportive and a comfort to me, but sometimes, as many people, they just don't "get it".

Perhaps because of my worsening condition, I've become more sensitive. Rereading this book has already blessed me and I'm only on the second chapter! I've marked up so much more as I read and it is so much what I need right now.

Today, as I was reading I became aware of something that never entered my mind before. The phrase that speaks of not only "accepting our own limitations, but that we also need to understand the limitations of those who can't seem to understand." - Rita E.

This book is powerful validation for anyone with a chronic or undiagnosed medical condition, especially those with invisible symptoms. When a medical condition first appears, friends, family and colleagues rally and offer support. But when the condition drags on and on, the sufferer still has the same symptoms or worse, and everyone else is ready for it to "be over." Anger from the sufferer and loved ones cannot be directed towards something as intangible as an illness and as a result, the anger is directed towards each other.

Lisa Copen has walked the talk and offers powerful insight and a Christian perspective for dealing with the anger, resentment and frustration that accompany a chronic illness. She will give you the validation you need to fortify you throughout your own medical journey.

As one who suffers from chronic pain and illness, this book was a tremendous encouragement to me. Lisa writes from experience, since she deals wtih continual health problems herself.

She writes openly and honestly from a Christian perspective, dealing with the many thoughts and emotions that arise when struggling with ongoing pain and illness. She challenges us to look at these struggles from a different perspective - as opportunities to glorify God and be used by him in ways that no healthy person could - and provides guidelines on how to pray in the midst of our pain.

Two sentences in this book impacted me greatly: "God has hand-chosen those of us who will use our illness to glorify him, even more than he could have used our health. Is my motive to honor the Lord or relieve myself from discomfort?" Those thoughts have been very helpful to me in my times of greatest discouragement and frustration.

This book is excellent reading for those who suffer with health issues. For those who know someone with chronic health problems, this would be a wonderful gift as well.

This book is so comforting and educational. I've had it for years and just recently had the NEED to read it to learn to help myself with the rejection and sadness I've been feeling. Lisa Copen herself has chronic illnesses and pain and you can tell immediately that she is coming from a place of living with and through it. As I read I'm highlighting the parts that I believe today I will need to reread, maybe several times, to really learn that I can only change myself and how I view things. How nice to know that there is something we can do!
If you are a Christian living with chronic illness or know someone who is, this book is worth every penny (it's priceless really).

My life was changed by chronic illness and pain, this book has changed my attitude and outlook on life with illness for the better! I had gone thru many of the emotions before having read the book- but I didnt understand them. I dont often recommend things, but this book is one I feel I must - for anyone with or who knows someone with chronic illness and pain, no matter where you/they are in the process, this book is a blessing!