Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior Kindle Edition
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|Length: 106 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
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Top Customer Reviews
Flaxington's premises are basically that you're going to get along easily with some people, with others it may not be easy but if you understand what's going on you may be able to make it work, and in other cases you either live with the situation or move on, but you're not going to change it. Straightforward enough, and Flaxington's value added are principles, context and the real and rare strength of the book, a clear and honest assessment that you're not going to change other people. The first chapter is a good reminder to check our own perspectives, but unless you're reading this at someone else's suggestion, there's a good probability you're above average in self awareness.
The Chapter "Don't Assume I Know What You Mean" is valuable enough to justify reading the book. The tools and thoughts from that chapter are universally useful.
The two "demerit" areas, based upon my "filters," are the lack of context for DISC and not addressing personality disorders. The DISC behavior style assessment is one of many communication/personality/behavior/value diagnostics; Myers-Briggs may be the most widely recognized. It would be good to know, briefly, why the author believes DISC is a good choice relative to other alternatives. She does state that it is validated and proven.Read more ›
The book begins by examining the many built in filters we use to view the world. Our filters don't necessarily make us right or wrong, they simply determine our viewpoint. One person may be devastated by the death of Michael Jackson. The next person may view it as, "One less pedophile in the world." One person may view Barack Obama as the Messiah, the next person may view him as the anti-Christ. These are just the filters each person sees things with.
Flaxington teaches us that by being aware of our filters, we are more cognizant of the fact that we are not necessarily right or wrong, we're just us. This concept leads us to understanding the principle of "It's all about me." The author cogently explains this simple truth by asking the reader to consider a time when we went out of our way to help someone, supposedly out of our own goodness, only to be offended when the recipient failed to "according to our filters" properly thank us.
The book continues in subsequent chapters to explain how these filters create difficulties in relationships, work environments and every day life with those around us. The concept being, by more clearly understanding why we, and those we interact with, react the way we do, we will begin to find ways to work towards what Dr. Stephen Covey calls, "Win-win, or no deal" and "seek first to understand, then to be understood."
I will stop here as I don't wish to give away additional content. The book is a quick, easy read. It is very well written and you will find lessons with immediate applicability.
Using the Disc behavioral and core value tools, I have a clearer insight into human nature. `Don't assume I know what you mean' is one of the good personal reminders to place more context around my messages.
I intend to keep this book close to me until the 5 secrets have become a natural way of life for me, meanwhile I will pick up a few more copies for my friends. You should too!
I was continually distracted while reading by the author's clunky and ungrammatical writing style. She switches between the pronouns I, me, you, we, and they willy-nilly and mid-stream; overuses quotes around words; and litters her paragraphs with exclamation marks and parenthetical asides, while also writing wordy, clunky sentences with really awkward syntax. Most annoying to me is how repetitive and overly cutesy and overly informal the writing style is. Throughout, the author only uses experiences from her personal life and consulting business to illustrate her points, and sometimes the relevance of her experience seems tenuous at best. This book could easily have been edited down to only 50 pages, and for me, 50 pages worth of badly written and unoriginal, shallow content is definitely not worth $10.95. I am not the best writer myself, but as a reader, I know when the writing isn't good and hasn't had the benefit of an editor's constructive criticism.
I'm giving this 2 stars because I think the author is well-intentioned and I did learn a couple new things. Overall, though, most of the concepts seem really obvious to me--I already knew that we all have mental filters so that we all view reality differently, and that we should all try to communicate better by really listening to the other person and ensuring that we explain what we mean more thoroughly. I think most people already know this in fact. I did learn a couple new things about the DISC personality scale and the six core values, but overall the exploration of all these topics has no depth and little value to me, offering almost no new insights.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Writing is soooo repetitive. To be fair I only read the first 10% but it was pretty much the same sentence over and over. I couldn't take it anymorePublished 27 days ago by Allison
This book is amazing. I have heard some of these things before but never explained the way she explains them. This book really has help me understand people. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Jennifer Guches
This book is for the aspiring conversationalist! The rules are simple yet powerful in their meaning and results are out of this world.Published 8 months ago by R Park
If you have any difficult individuals in your life...READ this book. I liked it so much, I gave a copy to each of my family members (doubt they read it but still worth the... Read morePublished 9 months ago by Michael Lemen
This booked helped a lot to understand more about other people and how to communicate better . I will be putting these steps into daily practicePublished 9 months ago by S
|Topic||From this Discussion|
|Why is it so hard for us to admit that sometimes "it's all about me!"||
I noticed no one has responded to your start of a discussion "it's all about me" I'm not terribly surprised it is a hard thing for people to admit about themselves. I learned in therapy that we get something out of things we keep doing even if they don't work out for us there is some... Read More
Jun 22, 2011 by Tinker | See all 2 posts
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