Customer Reviews

Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart

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Enduring the pain of losing a loved one is certainly among life's biggest trials, and there is no "quick fix" for dealing with the grief. Before you can solve a problem you must understand it, so it's helpful to have some expert assistance for such a big endeavor. This book offers a step-by-step guide through the process, answering tough questions, dispelling myths, and dispensing advice along the way. Dr. Wolfelt is a compassionate, experienced and knowledgeable voice who presents his approach to the grieving process logically and efficiently. Ten "touchstones" make up the pathway, labeled with words like dispel, embrace, recognize, and nurture. Taking an organized approach to something like grief might sound impossible, but it may well be a critical part of making it through a very difficult time.

Of all the books I've read since my son was killed (and there are plenty), this one would be at the top of the recommendation list for the bereaved to read. It thoroughly covers every facet of grief that one will ever experience along the journey. For once, I had my own worst time of day acknowledged and explained. In our mourning-avoiding society, this book validates and fortifies the bereaved. In addition, Ph.D. Wolfelt adeptly and compassionately shows the way to integrate grief into a positive transformation toward a new life of hope as our loved ones would want us to live.

(Note: Knowing the nature of grief as it is, I suggest this book might be best read months after an intense loss. Otherwise you may find yourself reading each sentence or paragraph over and over trying to make sense of it due to the inherent lack of concentration caused by the severe assault to the mind as well as the heart. Where ever you are along the grief journey, it is never too late to read this book and begin proactive healing.)

When I lost my brother I had a lot people provide me with support, and encouraging words, but I still felt alone. I saw a grief counselor and she suggested this book. I loved it-- It's a great tool for dealing with the loss of someone close. It helped me realize that a lot of my feelings were natural. I could summarize the book, but if you lost someone recently and need support-- this is a great book and a useful tool.

This is very helpful at at very difficult time. Allows you to acknowledge the hurtful or less than helpful things that people say and take them with a grain of salt. This book was a a lot more detailed that the 100 ideal books. This book would be helpful and more appreciated by those that are use to reading more. This one gives more details and philosphy beyond the 100 idea books. I read before giving to my 2 adult mail children and made a switch to get the correct book that each would be more likely to read.

100 idea books were best for most people. They can be picked up, read a little and put back down; and then picked up later. Gives some great ideas for you to pick an choose from and do what you need at that time or what is helpful to you. I heard the author speak a few years before the loss of my wife to cancer at 54. When we had our loss I remember what he shared and wanted to get more details plus catch things I might have missed now that I was in the middle of morning and greaving.

Introduction is very good and sets the stage for where he comes from. I am and educator and like his material very much. Got related books of his for my adult children that were college graduates and early in their career when their mother passed away. I read and utilized the one for spouse personally.

AS he shares there is not definable stages of grief and mourning you work thorough. It is an up and down; back and forth process you work through. Don't let the grief spurts embarrasss you just take them as they come and work through them. Talk to & lean on others that are caring and are supportive to you. They need to work through the process to. I have had many people tell me that me sharing and taking their support and help when offered has help them nearing as much as I have been helped by them.

I reccommend you buying and sharing the (appropriate)books of this author to those that have lost loved ones. I plan to now and in the future.

I love Wolfelt's work and find it very useful information! I have already used several pieces of information from the book!

I am taking a grief class that is from this book. So far it has helped some. But its a good book.

I like this book. Given we're living in an environment in which the grieving are being squeezed between the myth of the stages of grief and the "new science" of grief which seems to think people should be over it in 6 months, this book gets it right. He clearly explains the whys and wherefores of grief and offers solid practical steps for coping and healing.

My only reservation is that it's rather dense. For people who are newly grieving, it's probably way too much information, too soon. You're ready for this book when you can read a paragraph once and understand what it says.

Susan Fuller
Author How To Survive Your Grief: When Someone You Love Has Died

Amazing book. Really helps people address their grief. I would also suggest this book for friends or families of someone who faced a loss, as it gives their friends an idea on how this person (who faced the loss) may be feeling and how to make their day go a little better.

Excellent book on grief and mourning. Very helpful in putting many aspects of grief into perspective to help face and move through the process.

Having lost my husband, I feel a huge loss and void in my life. I was frantic to find some way to get through the abyss...and this book was recommended to me. Initially, I found the author to be very repetitive, so reading it was somewhat tedious. As I reached Touchstone Four, I noticed that what he was saying really spoke to me and described what I am feeling/dealing with pretty accurately. I realize now that Wolfelt's repetitive style is designed for people who are grieving and mourning, because the grieving process causes loss of concentration and decreased ability to retain information. You are numb with grief and yet your brain is in over-drive, so the repetition helps what he is saying to really sink in.

I am using this book as the "course outline and textbook", so to speak, for a bereavement group that I am attending. The book and it's accompanying journal are great for giving each member of our group focus on the tasks and issues at hand and keeping us from wandering aimlessly in the confusion of our grief. I have attended groups after other losses in my life, but this one is the best because it does have strong guidance and direction from both the author and our chaplain.

A friend of mine just lost his father...when I am finished with it, I think I will pass this book along to him.