Boiled down to the fine little dish of steak tar-tar that it is, "Underworld" is the answer to the two horror flick questions you had as a kid:

1) If Dracula and the Wolfman went mano a mano and fang-to-claw, which one would do the thrashing?

2) If Dracula and the Wolfman checked into a cheap motel, got roaring drunk on a case of Night Train, and had a baby, what would it look like?

You get the answer to #1 early and often, which is pretty much what this Transylvania Station is all about. And by the end of "Underworld" you get #2 as well---and trust me, when it's hopping about like an ugly green Mini-Hulk (right down to its one-size-fits-all-monster trunks) you'll wish you hadn't.

You want to know what you're getting when you lace up your thigh-high attitude boots and strap on that trenchcoat for a little midnight fun in Len Wiseman's uber-stylish little monster mash "Underworld"?

Think West Side Story: only here, instead of the Jets and the Sharks angling for a rumble on the other side of the tracks, we have Vampires and Werewolves. Oh, and in "Underworld" nobody breaks into song. Both sides just want to rumble, and the girls just wanna have fun. In the meantime, while not the sharpest stake in the vamp-hunter kitbag, "Underworld" finds its groove, and serves up a bloody two hours of unabashed techno-cool that drinks you dry, trashes the apartment and howls at the moon.

We get dropped into the middle of a war that Celine (the impossibly tasty Kate Beckinsdale)---our supple full-body-suit clad vampiric Death Dealer and narrator---tells us has been "raging for centuries."

On one side of the tracks: the sneering, brutally hip Euro-trashy leather-trenchcoat & hip-sunglasses wearing uber-high-maintenance Vampires. They have posh high-rent neo-Victorian digs, drive around the streets in Jaguars and Maseratis, and have managed to switch up the silver bullets in their glocks and MP-5 submachine guns for something more lethal: liquid silver nitrate, which makes it tougher for their hairy buddies to pull the bullets out. Advantage: Vampires.

On the other side of the tracks: the Salvation Army surplus-wearing tear-your-scalp-off-and-wear-it Werewolves---erm, I mean Lycans, short for Lycanthropes. The Lycans are strictly low-rent, hang out together in what looks like an abandoned public lavatory, and take a bath once every full moon whether they need it or not. Whereas their blood-sucking cousins from the East Side look like they'd be hanging at crazy underground raves when they're not boring each other to tears talking like the Merovingian, the Lycans are strictly the mosh-pit set. Oh, and from what I could tell, there's not a single werewolf girl. C'mon guys---haven't ya heard of "Ginger Snaps"? Bummer. Advantage: Vampires.

That said, the boys have been pumping the rent money they've saved up into super-science research, giving them bullets that encase super-photoelectric magnesium charges (perfect for giving that oncoming vamp a little taste of Club Med sunlight). They also have the upper hand in figuring out how they can mix the bloodlines, bringing the war between Vamp and Lycan to an end. Advantage: Lycans.

And finally, mixing it up with our fanged-kissin' cousins, we have perplexed med student Michael Corvin (played by the annoying Scott Speedman who cashes a check) stalked by Lycan heavies and tagged by Selene, who wants to know why the werewolf army is so eager to get their hands on him.

And that, pretty much, is "Underworld": two hours of movie built around jaw-droppingly gorgeous set-pieces and bouts of total war between locked-and-loaded squads of Things that go Bump in the Night.

Just a note: you'll want to get the Unrated Extended DVD: it fleshes things out, beefs up some supporting characters, and ends with an extended battle sequence---and it's loaded down with plenty of extras you can sink your fangs into.

Plus, the sleeker transfer shows off Wiseman's technical mastery in spades. Wiseman uses sound-stages and CGI to anchor the film's look, and tethers all of it to the fog-shrouded cobbled streets and ancient alleys of Prague: the City itself takes on a bleak and brooding character. The movie looks gorgeous: whether it's the gloomy red-velvet and dark mahogany halls of the mansion, the sleek, sterile Underground, or the industrial ruins of the Lycans, Wiseman and cinematographer Tony Pierce-Roberts make every scene tell. The sequence where a locomotive full of vampire diplomats chugs into a deserted rail-station---with the baying of werewolves in the distance---is jaw dropping.

"Underworld" also gets the most out of its talented stable of actors. There are three centers of gravity in the film: Beckinsdale, who doesn't need her bodysuit to command her lines (though I'm glad she wore it). The Lycan overlord Lucien (the gifted Welsh actor Michael Sheen) steals every scene he's in, and brings complexity and command to a role that could have been a throwaway in lesser hands. Finally, there's the Vampire King Viktor, played by the great Bill Nighy (who also played Shaun's Jag-loving stepdad in "Shaun of the Dead"). Nighy is a kind of demonic embodiment of immortal Puritan rage, and acts like a champ through all that make-up.

Even the supporting actors turn in strong roles: Shane Brolly (Kraven) whines and pouts and lisps and turns in a convincing performance as a spineless worm; Sophia Myles (Erika) comes off as a naughty little vampire cat-girl; Kevin Grevioux owns this film and puts the smack down as Uber-Werewolf Raze; and Hungarian actress Zita Gorog rocked my world---without uttering a single line.

In the end, this batwinged black-lipstick wearing looker of a flick charged into the goth club of my choice, served me an extra-bloody steak tartar , smacked me around, bought me drinks, and talked Shakespeare after. Would a Lycan by any other name be just as hairy?

Blade was interesting, but to me it failed emotionally. You just do not connect with the film on the personal level. The effects were super, but that was the main impact..."wow what amazing effects". You feel like breaking out in a chorus of Peggy Lee's Is That All There Is. Special effects alone cannot make a movie great.

Underworld makes that jump, great FX work, but also gives you characters you really care about, ones that you really love to hate. A strong plot line designed to hook you and keep you, just does that. With the emotional involvement, there is a greater impact, a movie that will demand repeat viewing. Instant Cult Status.

The movie grabs you from the opening and never lets up with the pace. Firm direction and with a driving score, the movie reaches for perfection. You have a 1000-year-old war between Lycons and Vampires, and it's all coming to a head. It's a well thought out and executed premise and Kate Beckinsale shines! She is an amazing talent. I first adored her work in Cold Comfort Farm as Robert Post's child Flora. When you compare that gentle, deft bit of humour with this kick a*** vampire hunter, it proves what an overlooked talent she is. With Van Helsing out now (and I am sure this movie led to her landing the role), she is finally getting a spotlight she so well deserves.

A gloomy, atmospheric ambiance to the whole movie is maintained all the way through, adding a strong foundation for the otherworld premise. I am sure some will nitpick things, as all vampire film faces, but kudos for the vibrant energy and sheer edgy feel to the film.

It leaves you hanging, clearly open for a sequel...one can but hope it maintains this high quality.

Kate rocks...you don't need to know anymore! It has about 13 minutes of footage not in the original. A great battle scene and some backstory on Michael. Rounds out the film nicely without dragging it down. A great pounding soundtrack, too!

I had been looking forward to the release of this movie all summer long, and it was a great movie! It was just a little different from what I had thought it would be.

The movie, as most of you probably know, is about a war that has been going on between werewolves and vampires. And it is THIS that is the primary focus of the plot (as opposed to the vampires and werewolves themselves). The werewolves have been researching their bloodlines and discovered a human who shares a common ancestor with both the werewolves and the vampires. The werewolves seek out this human, and this is noted by Selene (Kate Beckinsale), who decides to make it her mission to discover the importance of this particular human.

Unfortunately, the writers decided not to delve too deeply into vampire and werewolf lore. I was pretty disappointed by the fact that the supernatural abilities of these supernatural beings were not really emphasized. Instead, the writers chose to merely stick guns in the hands of the vampires and werewolves. In addition, the mythology was slightly different from what I've read and seen before in previous vampire and werewolf books and movies. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but if you are going to change things from what people are used to, then it should be explained in slightly more detail.

Another thing that was a little disappointing were the effects. The previews led me to believe that the movie would be comparable to the "Matrix" in that department. Unfortunately, the best effects (with the one exception of the werewolf transformations) were all shown in the previews.

All of this aside, the movie was still pretty incredible. The plot was exceptional, which is not necessarily always the case with most action movies, and the action kept me entertained throughout the movie's entirety. The make-up and costumes were also outstanding, as was the acting. I actually saw this movie twice, and the second time around (once I got over the intial let-down of it being slightly different from what I expected) it was MUCH better. I anxiously await the sequel (and based on how the movie ended, there WILL be a sequel) as well as the DVD release!