Customer Reviews

Undressing Infidelity: Why More Wives are Unfaithful

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Sort of like most affairs, eh? There's no doubt this is an easy book to read and full of steamy details about married women fed up with their lives or just plain bored who decide to try something new. I was engrossed in their stories and the women did not let me down. Unfortunately, the author did. I had hoped for more analysis precisely because she seemed to be promising that in the very first chapter. She never came through and what could have been a much more important book ultimately, I think, failed. Too fluffy, not enough substance.

Her interviews with cheating wives were written in the authors own interpretations. (which she writes like bad Harlequin novels) For example: The 'Doctor' affair cannot be true, no Dr would invite a new patient with an emergency knife cut wound into an empty office after hours and then attempt to seduce the married patient with lines like "leave your blouse open we are casual here" or "one man's pain is another man's pleasure" with a leering grin, can you say Malpractice suit? The other stories are all just as bad/fake and there is never any conclusion to the question on the title why do wives cheat, what is the purpose of the book? This is just boring stories of desperate house-wife wannabees that may or may not have actually happened, not a self help or informal non-fiction.

Feel good about yourself and save a tree cuz this is total garbage. What a waste of time and money. It took me nowhere, no insight, no nothing, not even interesting stories, just a plain old bad taste in my mouth. The way I read it I have to think that this "writer" just needed to capitalize in on her personal indescretion in order to justify her indescretion to herself. I've got to tell you I've ordered alot from Amazon and never felt compelled to write a review before as these things are always in the eyes of the beholder but I feel so totally burned by the hype of this waste of space. There's so much better out there.

Diane Smith resisted the impulse to have an affair during a stressful time in her marriage several years ago. But her need to understand that temptation lead her to interview over 150 women who cheated on their husbands. This is her book.

"Undressing Infidelity" is not a definitive research project for family therapists nor does it wrap the various stories into a unified cheating on marriage theory. The book does reflects the diversity of a woman's need for emotional attachment, attention and passion. Frankly some of these men had it coming with their inattentive or controlling behaviors -- but other men did not, as life's many challenges (kids, money pressures, illnesses) got into both partner's ways. Some women paid a price for their infidelity - others did not.

The book is a quick read but it will set you thinking on the state of your own relationship. The book should be read by couples together, married or not. The reader is referred to "Uncoupling" by Frances Vaughan or any of family therapist Frank Pittman's writings on infidelity (especially "Private Lies") for further reading.

Just when it no longer seemed possible for our culture to plunge any further into the black hole of dishonor, a book entitled, Undressing Infidelity: Why More Wives are Unfaithful , got released. Its author, Diane Shader Smith, embarked on a mission to record the stories of various adulterous women in the hopes of explaining why it is they cheat. She never fulfills her goal, however, as the work fails at every level.

Infidelity is supposed to be pretty hot stuff, but this book fails to titillate. Certainly these tales are rife with deception, but sexy they are not. The wives are excellent examples of individuals who have gotten "heavily into me." They seem to know nothing about the world around them or society in general. Yet, for some reason, our author regards these clueless, self-destructive creatures as being "amazing." Amazing, no; banal and infantile, yes.

As I just recently noted in another review, society showers women with accolades merely for having the right kind of gonads. With such low expectations for personal achievement, one can anticipate future book titles like: I Don't Know How She's Able to Wake Up Breathing, and The Twelve Part Tale of a Heroic Woman Who Defied the Patriarchy by Learning How to Drive Stick Shift. If people really cared about equality, why wouldn't they expect the same levels of accomplishment from women that they do from men? Basically, as it is so non-judgmental, this book is merely a continuation of the forty years worth of applause women have received for simply being alive.

In reality, Undressing Infidelity is more boring than anything else. There is no allure within these stories. These women, like the Pac-Man character on the Atari game I played as a child, are never satisfied with what they have been given, and will chew and digest whatever one dangles before them. Relationships and men are consumed like entrees at trendy restaurants or vacation offers for the Caribbean. Many of these adulterous women discovered that marriage wasn't all about them, so they procreated elsewhere, but guess what, they still weren't happy. To corrupt Horace, they can change insertions, but cannot alter their natures.

I suppose that some may confuse these adulterous behaviors as being representations of Woman Power. That infidelity increases female potency is about as rational as thinking a bout of cancer makes one stronger. However, here again, like with so many other cultural and political issues, arises The Law of Unintended Consequence. Should female infidelity increase, then the eventual outcome will be that fewer and fewer men will submit to getting married which will exacerbate the already present societal trend.

What many of these women do not understand is that bragging about their "conquests" violates an essential law of hustling which is that no con artist should allow their marks to know they are marks. The increased coverage the media has given to philandering wives will allow those men foolish or lonely enough to have once put up with them to realize that they are suckers and laughingstocks. This may give them the courage they need to walk away from their own personal Love Canals. In America, we determine our own fate, and, of course, women have the right to do as they please. Yet, regarding those females with a mercenary bent, men should preserve their own right to choose by electing to have nothing to do with them-at least as far as permanent relations are concerned. Ultimately, even if books like these make for torturous reading, we should be pleased they exist as they yield soul preserving intelligence concerning radiation with which we might otherwise be exposed.

I am not sure whether I am more disappointed by the lack of analysis into why the women cheat, especially the ones where they said they loved their husbands and felt their husbands were trying to meet their needs, or the fact the author is so flippant about her own affair. It is good that she eventually told her husband, but the only thing she seemed to truly felt any remorse for was that her sister called her right before she consumated the affair sexually. She already did the emotional affair, but even in her own story, though she expresses relief about not taking that final step, it does not seem that she would not do it in the future or truly understood why she did it in the first place. I would like to see a book where not only the juicy details were shared, but also some analysis into the psychological and emotional aspects, even if there is no moral judgment made. Especially in light of the fact that many of these women acknolwedge that the affairs hurt their relationships with everyone. It seems to me that it would be helpful to explore that aspect of fantasy world meeting reality in deeper way.

This is a great book. It takes a realistic look at what is happening in our society today with women and relationships. It is not a collection of sex stories, but rather of different women searching for something that they have not found with their spouses. Anyone, male or female, thinking about having an affair, should read this book.

The subtitle may be "Why More Wives are Unfaithful", but don't be fooled -- this book offers no real insight whatsoever, just a parade of stupid, sad, sordid tales of selfish, oblivious women with no moral center. Turns out women cheat for exactly the same reasons men do -- they're a--holes. Forget about buying this book -- it was barely worth the effort to check it out of the library for free.

In order to better understand the reasons women cheat in relationships, my husband and I read this book together. It was really interesting to get the different points of view in a non-judgmental format. Enjoyable and easy to read.

I was looking for more of an analytical approach to infidelity. This book was based on anecdotal evidence. Women gossiping about their sexual indiscretions. Written in the style of a cheap erotica I feel this book will attract a more feminine audience. I was hoping for the author to dissect each interview in an anthropological fashion. This book has nothing to do with with undressing infidelity. Making a book out of interviews with no research or commentaries makes it hard to believe the author put any effort into writing this book. This book belongs in the soft erotica section at best.