The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships [Paperback]

Camerin Courtney (Author), Todd Hertz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2006

Forty percent of the U.S. adult population is single. And the majority of those singles feel pressured to find ''the one.'' But dating as an adult is not easy, especially in a culture that targets people under the age of twenty and seemingly ignores everyone else. Drawing from their own dating experiences and from their work with prominent Christian media outlets, including ChristianSinglesToday.com, Camerin Courtney and Todd Hertz offer their thoughts and bewilderments on adult dating relationships--not just to discuss the declining ''state of the date'' but to give hope and help to adult singles. With insight on everything from meeting someone after college to the much-talked-about issue of sex, their he said/she said style pairs a little bit of vulnerability with a lot of conversation to help singles navigate the pressures, trends, and temptations of dating as an adult.

Editorial Reviews

Review

In a time when so much dating advice seems geared towards teenagers, The unGuide provides a much-needed voice for adults. -- Today's Christian Woman

Pick up this little book, which is straightforward and savvy, and unabashedly grown-up. -- Lauren Winner, author of Real Sex

The Unguide to Dating is the best book I have encountered, as it addresses real life issues facing singles. -- Phantom Tollbooth

From the Back Cover

Christian singles, breathe a sigh of relief!

- Tired of couples married at 20 giving you advice on dating at 30 and beyond? - Feel like you don't want to give up on dating-but don't have a choice? - Want a book from someone who actually gets the difference between the high school and adult dating scenes?

At last, here's an honest look at the perils of Christian dating in the modern world. Written by singles for singles, this refreshingly funny book takes a unique, he said/she said look at the bewilderments of adult dating relationships.

How do you get out of a dating drought? What are the pros and cons of women making the first move? And what's the deal with all the new relationship fads targeting single adults? Camerin Courtney and Todd Hertz dive straight into the miry bog of Christian singledom to address these issues and more. They don't promise you a date in 30 days or less, but they do offer you hope and encouragement to help you navigate the pressures, trends, and temptations of dating as an adult.

Camerin Courtney is managing editor of Today's Christian Woman magazine, author of Table for One, and columnist for ChristianSinglesToday.com. Her suburban Chicago home is filled with Eiffel Towers, Starbucks’ mugs from the many countries she’s visited, and too many pictures of the wonderboy who made her Cool Aunt Cam.

Todd Hertz is an associate editor for Ignite Your Faith magazine, formerly Campus Life. He's a frequent contributor to ChristianSinglesToday.com and ChristianityTodayMovies.com. He lives in the Chicago area with a slowly dying plant, his own chocolate fountain, and a Monopoly-themed bathroom.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Revell (January 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800730763
• ISBN-13: 978-0800730765
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,005,296 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Best unGuide Available, April 11, 2006

By 

Critic Carrie (Colorado Springs, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships (Paperback)

Many Christian dating books start with the premise that there's something wrong with you if you're single. The plethora of how-to-get-hitched volumes say that if you follow their prescribed steps and concoct their formulas, then poof! You'll be happily ever after married.
The unGuide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships stands out in crowd of methodical, one-dimensional Christian living books.
Authors Camerin Courtney (a thirty-something Today's Christian Woman editor), and Todd Hertz (a twenty-something Campus Life editor) are both single and understand our generation's unique dating plights.
Dating is more complicated now than ever before-especially for Christians. There are fewer single men in the church, changing gender roles, Internet dating, speed dating, shows like The Bachelor, and the effects of higher divorces rates to add to the mix. Singles are waiting longer to get married and Christians seem to be experiencing a dating drought.
This book could've been a vague diatribe, pointing fingers at the ills of society and what's wrong with men and women, but it's not.
The authors get vulnerable and share their own mishaps and victories, while challenging readers to take a good look inward too. They add to the dating discussion with ChristianSinglesToday.com reader input.
Readers (especially those on the older side of 25) should relate well to stories and insights shared here. Expect practical suggestions in this dialogue on dating, not just a list of do's and don'ts.
The male and female pair's authentic approach gives a much-needed mature, fun, and candid perspective. The unGuide has no money-back guarantee, but neither does real life-or dating.

3 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Easy, easy read., April 3, 2006

By 

Roger Davis (Dayton OH) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships (Paperback)

The "Unguide to dating" is a viewpoint written from
two singles perspectives. One a man (Todd Hertz) one a woman.(Camerin Courtney)

They each takes a turn in every chapter (Changing Gender Roles,Internet dating,etc) based on their unique experiences.

I have been a fan of Ms. Courtney writings for years.
Both her articles in Christianitytoday.com and her recent "Table for One" book have interested me in their easy insightfulness.

I have never read anything by Hertz, but Courtney's name is enough of a recommendation.

There is not a great deal of "meat" in this book. For a
meaningful discussion on why a Christian may still be single and/or to accept that we may never marry I recommend
Ms. Lori White blunt "the Single Truth" or Ms. Courtney breezy "table for One."
"Unguide to Dating" is simply a book of two single Christians
closing on to middle age telling of their humorous, frustrating and often enjoyable experiences as Dating in Christdom. And putting it in a larger context.
They are especially interesting when putting their own
(typical) single life in contrast with the myth of TV/Movies single life.
I have said that there is not much "meat" in this book.
I did not mean that as a negative. It is as breezy and enjoyable as sitting with two friends talking about life as Christian singles and the time fly by just as fast. I finished this in one sitting. Don't be surprise if you do the same.

6 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Commitment-phobic Camerin, April 1, 2006

By 

STEVE - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships (Paperback)

Camerin is a commitment-phobe. I have seen this type of woman many times over the past 23 years I have pursued relationships with women. Women over 30 who have never been married generally are in one of 3 categories which make them unmarriageable:

1. Physically unattractive (a minority)
2. Bad character (the BIG one- I encountered many of these: wackos, flakes etc.)
3. commitment-phobic (They pass conditions 1&2 but they have no real desire for marriage)

Then there is the angry bitter divorcee with kids. I do not want these women. Besides their being emotionally scarred there are two reasons: 1. I do NOT want to deal with the ex-spouse and his kids. 2. I want my own children and older women with kids almost always do not want more even if they are still physically able.

In the book they talk about friendship. Forget it. Women at the singles groups I go to are not looking for friends. They are only looking for a date. If they don't want to date you, they give you nothing more than the time of day. EVERY time I've ever been LJBF'd (let's just be friends) by a woman, she did not want to be friends. This is her way of telling me she wanted nothing to do with me.

I also did internet dating as the authors recommended. Complete disaster. As soon as those women saw my age they instantaneously rejected me. I did manage to get three dates with 3 different women(one date each). All three never spoke to me again after the date.

Why does Todd fear being a father later in life? Many famous men throughout history have done it. If God did not want us men to have children later in life He would have given us biological clocks. If Todd still thinks he is too old to have kids he can get a vascetomy. I believe the reason we men have more years to father childern is to have time to get through the thousands of rejections from women. The average woman will have more mating opportunity in her childbearing years than the average man will have in his entire lifetime.