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Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both Paperback – Bargain Price, February 5, 2008
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Top Customer Reviews
This is a MUST for all especially if you are concerned about the way sex has become such a casual entity in our society. THere is enough blame to go around and is not simply a matter of "these kids don't have moral". Read the book and be sobered and humbled....
I always figured it was something wrong with ME. I wasn't able to take a step back and gain broader perspective on the messages that have surrounded me almost from birth. No, I'm not trying to sound like a victim, but it's crucial to know how many seemingly small factors can come together to form a larger problem.
And I know it's not just me... For example, my best friend (who recently got her MBA) was sitting a bar and chatting with this guy she was really interested in, both physically & mentally, for hours. He hinted that she should come back to his apartment with her, but she didn't take the hints (or says she didn't). The next day she came to me, asking, "Why couldn't I just have sex with him??" There is a lot of confusion in young women today... Not only in terms of balancing academic/career/extracurricular goals with personal relationships, but also the pressure to BE overtly sexual and treat men disposably while at the same time really desiring a deeper emotional connection.
I think Stepp is right... Some of us, through a combination of factors, aren't equipped with the tools (due to lack of experience, and being actively influenced away from experience with messages like "There'll be plenty of time to date after <college, grad school, whatever> is done.") to adequately integrate a loving relationship into our lives. There are quotes in this book, much like the above, that I have heard since early adolescence.Read more ›
The essence of hooking-up, which can be anything from kissing to intercourse, is that there are no strings attached. There is no relationship, only instant gratification. It is suppose to be primarily a physical act, devoid of emotions. There is usually alcohol involved. The author is clearly against the hooking-up culture. She is no Puritan when it comes to sex, but for her, physical intimacy should happen within a meaningful relationship.
The author interviewed high school and college girls to learn all about the hookup culture.
So why do girls hookup? Isn't that exactly what men want, easy sex? So why are girls giving it to them? According to the girls interviewed, they feel a sense of power at being able to use the guy. They are also too busy being star atheltes, straight A students, and pursuing their dreams (or their parents dream for them). Who has time for a boyfriend? Not these girls. In addition, they have seen their parents' marriages break up and cause all sorts of misery. Real relationships can cause pain, hookups can't, right? Well, not exactly.
There are fairly serious consequences to the hooking up culture: don't learn how to have real relationships, after-the-fact-regret, unprotected sex, creates an ideal situation for date rape, low self-esteem, inability to trust, etc.
The author's solutions to keeping your child from engaging in the hooking up lifestyle are nothing new. Parental involvment is essential.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
So sensationalistic, I couldn't get through the book. I was expecting real insight into this issue (it is a huge issue, I feel that), but I felt the author was using scare tactics,... Read morePublished 12 months ago by Clementine
Really insightful, especially given how the media influences your girls and boys to behave.Published 16 months ago by Danielle Cummins
I highly recomend this book to parents of teenage children and anyone who sees problems in our world where our young adults and teens are experiencing issues with relationships. Read morePublished 19 months ago by Sue Darrington
I started this book as a result of reading 'Sex and God at Yale'. I would recommend that sequence as well. Read morePublished on August 13, 2013 by Robert H. Appleby
This was a very interesting book. I had to read it for my graduate class on college student experience and write a paper about it referencing theory, literature, etc. Read morePublished on June 22, 2013 by Papalios
This is an eye opener. I thought I was up to date with this generation, but I was not. I am definitely better prepared in helping my daughters - and knowing what to ask.Published on April 23, 2013 by S. Jones
This title is a very well written peek into how the young teens and adults look at all aspects of sex and its risk reward matrix. Read morePublished on January 27, 2013 by David Emond