Customer Reviews

The Unlikely Lavender Queen: A Memoir of Unexpected Blossoming

5 star:		(53)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Have you ever noticed how the one thing that most attracts you to a person can end up being the thing that, in time, makes you absolutely crazy?

Jeannie Ralston's friend Kim once told her "You're just not very adventurous." But any girl who was willing to move from Tennessee to New York, after landing an internship with McCall's magazine, must have had some longing for excitement lurking inside. From there, she carefully engineered a flourishing career as a freelance writer and, thanks to fashion editor Kim, a well-dressed one at that. When she was assigned to work with Robb Kendrick, a cute young photographer from National Geographic magazine, Jeannie got swept right off her Manolo Blahniks and into a life beyond her imagining.

It began as a whirlwind of travel and excitement, where she might wake up on her thirtieth birthday and find her bikini-clad self on the cover of Travel + Leisure magazine. So how did she end up at age forty, living on a farm outside of Blanco, Texas, with work-roughened hands, aching back, and a husband who's rarely home? Ah, therein lies the story!

When Robb first announced that he despised living in New York and wanted to move back to Texas, Jeannie felt sure he would come around eventually. However, she had no idea just how persistent and persuasive her new husband could be. Next thing she knew, they owned a house in Austin.

Of course, that was just the beginning. Robb is an idea man, a man who needs to challenge himself with new projects. A man with itchy feet, enamored with the idea of being a pioneer. After Austin, he hit upon the notion of transforming an old stone barn near Blanco into their home. Jeannie couldn't imagine moving to the country, but eventually caved in, on the condition that Robb must agree to their starting a family. Next, he was inspired by the lavender fields in Provence, and thought, why not in the Texas Hill Country? Though he didn't ask Jeannie to take over their lavender farm while he was away on assignment, both seemed to assume that she would. "This was the natural dance of our relationship. When he was off traveling, which totaled about eight months out of the year, though not all at once, I would get the ball, whatever the ball happened to be at the time."

I connected with this book on so many levels. First, it was just a great read. There was never a moment when I felt my interest flagging, and each chapter left me wanting more. Second, the Texas Hill Country is a delightful setting, uniquely beautiful and peopled by such interesting characters that it could easily hold its own against Tuscany or Provence. When I tried to picture a young woman whose previous life was straight out of "Sex and the City" dining at the Blanco Bowling Club Cafe or paying a social call on the crone next door who was busily carving up a deer and plopping the raw steaks down on the table right in front of our New York immigrant, I laughed so much that I almost needed a change of underwear.

On a much deeper level, though, The Unlikely Lavender Queen spoke to me of the struggles that all women today face: managing two big careers in a single relationship, becoming the caboose that follows a husband's engine, facing the ticking fertility clock--all the tradeoffs we make and what they cost us. It's not easy to bloom where we're planted.

At first Jeannie found herself wondering how much further from her true self she could go. Robb's attitude was looser: "You've just got to be open to surprises. Most people are scared of them. They'd rather be safe and comfortable than surprised." In time, thanks to his pushing and prodding, she found the courage to be a pioneer, discovered untapped talents that amazed them both, and together they launched a Texas industry. After a disastrous season when they were forced to deal with drought, floods, and grasshoppers of near-biblical proportions, a friend of Jeannie's said perhaps she had ended up in agriculture to learn the Zen of farming: the need for patience and letting go.

Once they ran out of projects and renovations at the lavender farm, though, Robb began to get restless and both he and Jeannie grew tired of having people descend on them each weekend. They sold part of the land, planted new lavender fields on property closer to town, and began to build another house. But when they decided to take the family to Mexico for Spanish lessons, their plans turned upside down. They now reside in San Miguel de Allende, though Jeannie still consults with and conducts seminars for Texas lavender growers.

I think perhaps Jeannie ended up with Robb because each needed the other for balance. Had she stayed in New York, she would have forever been the journalist, looking on and chronicling other's adventures. Now she is the star of her own story.

by Becky Lane
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

I loved this book!!! Having lived in the Texas Hill Country for eight years, I fully understand many of the challenges faced by the author. This is a beautiful area of Texas enjoyed by many people who are on vacation. But attempting to grow a garden here is not an easy task. The rocky alkaline soil, erratic weather conditions, lack of rain, insects, armadillos, and deer make gardening a difficult proposition. Whiny? No, just stating facts. Hats off to Jeannie Ralston for not sugar-coating the story, and for her sense of humor in the face of adversity. All that said, there's no place I would rather live. She understands that sentiment as well by portraying the numerous benefits of rural life. Thanks to Jeannie for a wonderful book.

My friend recently lent it to me on vacation, but I could not finish in time. As soon as I got home, I ordered it and have spread the word on this unlikely life experience ever since. It is well written and described in complete detail. I now tell everyone to read it and I know they will enjoy it too. I look forward to reading about Ms. Ralston's future adventures. I know she will have some wonderful ones!

I was drawn to The Unlikely Lavender Queen mostly because of the lavender. Until three years ago, I lived in the country and the thought of growing lavender had occurred to me.

I could almost smell the lavender as I read the first chapter. In fact, making the transition from that wonderful chapter and into the reality of her life was slow for me. However, as I read more, I began to relate so much to the unexpected turn of events in her life because of her marriage.

Jeannie Ralston did a most outstanding job of not only making the best of her situation, but blossoming beyond her expectations, and helping put a small town on the map. Her story was inspiring to me. By the time I finished the book, it had me wanting to move back to my native state of Texas, San Antonio maybe.

I just wanted to read a book about lavender. Jeannie Ralston gave so much more.

Anyone who has ever found that their lives are heading in a direction other than what they had originally planned will sympathize and enjoy reading Jeannie Ralston's The Unlikely Lavender Queen: A Memoir of Unexpected Blossoming.
The memoir begins when as Jeannie harvests her first order of lavender. From there, we travel back to what started it all: a National Geographic photographer with fabulous legs. Jeannie writes about how her marriage to what she calls a "restless" man led to a life she never would have imagined for herself.
For the first part of her life, Jeannie worked hard to establish herself as a talented writer. She wrote stories for Life, Time, and National Geographic and has been a contributing editor for Allure and is currently still one for Parenting. After she meets Robb, they fall in love and eventually marry and move to Texas. Jeannie is helplessly homesick and misses New York, the city she feels symbolizes her youth.
Although the couple first lives in Austin, a city that becomes more than tolerable in Jeannie's mind, they eventually build a home in the Hill Country. Jeannie hates it, and, when Robb decides he wants to start a lavender farm, she only becomes more miserable.
The rest of the book details her gradual acceptance and resulting fondess for the business they build and the small town they live in. But it doesn't end there, Ralston's story has a twist at the end, and her story is far from over.
When she was in town to read from her memoir, I had the opportunity to speak with Ralston. She filled me in on her life as it is now and her relationship with her husband. When I asked her to describe it for me, she told me "Robb pushes me, but he has never suppressed me. In the end, it always seems to turn out for the best."
If Jeannie has learned anything from the lavendar experience, it has been to "let go." At this point in her life, she is more open to his ideas because he has never let her or their boys down or put them in a situation that didn't have their best interest at heart.
The Unlikely Lavender Queen is a witty and entertaining story that will keep you glued to the pages to discover what will happen next. And those who enjoy it can look for more books from Ralston in the future.

This was an excellent read! I literally could not put it down from the moment I opened it! Being from Texas and familiar with the places and personalities Jeannie talks about was an added treat. I found myself laughing out loud many times. This story would have been great had it been pure fiction, but the fact that it is a real life tale about a modern day woman and her many trials and tribulations made it that much more interesting. You can almost smell the lavender as you go along!

The end of the book left me wanting to hear more. Maybe we will hear about Jeannie and Robb's new life in Mexico some day. I would definitely recommended this to anyone wanting to lose themselves in a great read this summer!

This book is for any woman who thinks she has somehow strayed from the life that she had always imagined for herself. Although Jeannie's journey was still more exciting than most by far, with exotic travel and building a magazine-worthy dream home, she encounters the same issues most women face, regardless of financial status. It makes you realize how different people are and how strong individial desires are, for many people would have given anything to be leading the life she so wanted to escape. This book is an example that life doesn't always have to go as planned. And once you see the beauty in that, life's lemons transform into lemonade. Or in this case, lavender lemonade.

I was held captive by this book - not because I liked it so much or because it was written so well or the story had me spell-bound, but because I wanted to find out: a) if Ralston's husband dumped her, or b) if in the end, she was transformed into a less-selfish, caring, humble human being. No to both questions. In fact, Ralston and her husband were made for each other - both narcissists. Each operating in their own private, privileged world trying to make as much money as possible so they could continue their blessed life with their boys in Mexico. Was that really $80 for a boxed lunch (1/2 sandwich, chips, apple) and a tour of the fields? REALLY? Who ARE these people?!

Another reason I continued to read while holding my nose is that I love the Texas Hill Country and familiar with the Blanco and Fredericksburg area (from my childhood). Ralston doesn't deserve to live there and I'm sure the native Texans were happy to see her go - Despite how much "culture" (movies! lavender! exotic lavender products!) she brought to the little town of Blanco.

I'm sorry to be so harsh. I just really did not like this book (can you tell?!).

Narcissist: "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

A GREAT READ! On the surface it is a humerous but accurate tale of living in a small town in Texas, but that is just a side bit of "charm."
The real essence for me was the emotional and psychological journey of a very bright, creative woman from single adult, to marital partner, to mother. Jeannie Ralston is a very conscious,honest, woman with a very articulate voice. The reader gets a holistic view-her external persona the world sees, as well as her internal process that goes on behind the "curtain."
The author goes from a young single woman who has the initial luxury of being solely concerned with her career, her wants and desires-to marriage partner which necessitates that some of her energy gets redirected toward the wants and needs of another-to ultimately that of a mother which demands even more.
I never thought of the author as "whiner" as did another reviewer-if I did it would have been the "pot calling the kettle black..." as complaining is part of the human condition. The key issue for me about complaining is what you do about it-and she moved beyond it to create something of value.
As far as some reviewers concerns and criticalness of the marriage-I thought just the opposite. Its a very realistic view of a marital relationship between 2 strong and creative people. Yes her husband is a strong personality, but she is no "wilting flower." "Taking turns" is a key rule in any successful relationship-especially marriage. especially one that involves 2 career people and children. Yes, Rob got his turn first, but she managed to get fed in the process. My take on Rob and Jeannie is she will get her share of turns, and he will step back (or to the side) and give her the same opportunity she gave him.
As a Psychotherapist, I cannot think of a time that I have recommended a novel to clients to read for therapeutic purposes-but this book is at the top of my list for many female and male clients who are trying to make sense and find hope at a critical period in their lives. To each his own-but I REALLY enjoyed this book and found it incredibly insightful and encouraging.

I picked up this book hoping to read about my homestate of Texas and one person's account of living in the Hill Country. What I discovered was a wonderful book that everyone can learn from. Jeannie Ralton's takes us through her adjustment to life in rural Texas, after having lived in Manhattan. I could certainly relate to her transition, having moved to rurual Vermont from Texas several years ago. But you don't have to have made that type of move to learn from this book how not only to survive in unfamiliar territory, but how to actually thrive. I hope there's a sequel, as I'm curious how she is doing in Mexico and where life will take her. This is also a great book club book, as it will provide a good discussion on life's transitions, how to cope, how to manage marital strife during a transition and how to bloom when it feels like you will wither and die.