Customer Reviews

An Unlit Path

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

One of the best and most meaningful books I have ever read. The faith, honesty, and humility with which it is written is awe-inspiring. The author describes her family's painful journey through fostering and adopting "hard-to-place" children and how her faith helped her through the turmoil of living with children who were deeply damaged by abuse. As a fellow adoptive mother of a severely abused, special needs child, so much of this book resonates and touches me. The ways that the author's faith sustains her, especially through her dreams, are deeply moving to me and are a reminder that all our attempts at serving God are meaningful.

I couldn't put this book down! As a foster parent for 14 years and an adoptive mom of 6, I found this book to be thought provoking, reaffirming and truthful. I, like the Hannah's, went into fostering thinking it would be a great way to help children in need and also found that love was not enough. This book really spoke to me and it really helps to know you aren't alone in having faced these kinds of problems. I would recommend this to anyone considering older child adoption because these problems are prevalent (although not always to the degree that the Hannahs faced) and you need to go into it with your eyes wide open. There are significant ramifications to be faced by every member of the family in older child adoption.

Another book I highly recommend is The Limits of Hope, by Ann Kimble Loux.

I gave this book 4 stars and it would have been 4.5 if that had been an option. I only had 2 problems with it. First, I thought the introductions to the chapters were very wordy and an attempt at writing a great work of literature, but they were strained. The author did much better in just telling her story and letting the truth of her voice come through in the body of the book than in trying to write a literary treasure as it sounded in the introductions. Second, this is not the first time that I have bought a book from Amazon that is clearly (and stated as such on the book cover) from a Christian point of view, but they don't state this in the sale listing. Amazon should really include that in the item information. The book does include bible references, but the author does not spend a undue amount of time on religious matters.

Great book and a must read.

Wow! In a time where celebrity adoptions are at an all time high it is important to know what one is really getting into. We always hear about these adoptions but we rarely hear the follow-ups of what happens a few years later. Sure, there are many adoptions that are successful, but the truth is the converse needs to be considered because it is a real possibility that these adoptive families will struggle in the years following. I was happy to learn that that although the family endured such tragic events, they survived, faith intact.

I grew up in a similar situation as the one presented in the book. It is easy to think that you are the only family going through these things but the truth is, many families struggle with the reality of adoption and the "hard to place" child. This book offers encouragement and I personally recommend it.

As an adoptive Mom and Founder of a parent-led support group for foster and adoptive families, I empathize with the Hannah family. Unfortunately, foster and adoptive families often endure situations that involve physical and or mental health issues and sometimes false allegations of abuse. An Unlit Path can prepare parents for the "realities" of caring for children who have experienced traumatic beginnings that include abandonment, neglect, substance abuse and violence.
I am especially grateful to Deborah Hannah for letting her readers know that it is possible to heal after crisis.

As a person who works with families who adopt through foster care and as an adoptive mother, I think this is a wonderful resource for foster and adoptive families, current and prospective. Too often I hear from families -- foster and international -- who say they didn't understand what they were getting into when they adopted. We don't give parents enough information when they begin the process, when they receive their placement, or post-adoption. But parents also need to take responsibility for learning about the children they will bring into their families.
When we step up to parent children who are abused, neglected, prenatally affected by drugs and alcohol, who have spent months or years in institutions, etc., we must understand that the journey will not be an easy one.
The author did an excellent job explaining that love is not enough when parenting these kids. She also did an excellent job explaining that the rewards outweigh the risks.

An Unlit Path speaks to any parent who has given a lost child the great gifts of unconditional love and the keys to a bright future, only to find themselves and these gifts despised and trashed. Children who have been abandoned by the natural parent sometimes feel an overpowering need to abandon those who try to replace that loved one. When the new parents have cried out all their emotions and found little comfort from friends and professionals, where can they turn except to the spiritual? James l:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Difficult as the first part of this verse may be, the Hannahs' experience shows that remaining unstained in the process is much harder. By turning back to their faith, which is where they started in the first place, they grow stronger and wiser, providing new hope for all their children. This book is essential reading for foster and adoptive parents.

I believe that every family who adds or creates their families through adoption wants to believe that love, caring and compassion are all that is needed. What Deb discovered is that what our children need most is aware and educated parents who can meet the challenges their children might present based on who they are and their past. Love is important too, but it is just not enough. Deb's emotional and truthful journey through understanding and the realities of parenting the children who came to them is inspirational. It is also grounded in the realities of parenting difficult children and the choices you have to make for the entire family. The only shortcoming of the book is that I would have added some resources...books, weblinks and places to go to understand the realities of some of the issues kids can face when they come from a less than optimal start in life. One book that looks at an overall parenting philosophy for adopted children is called Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections. It helps us understand that love is not enough and then gives you tools to do more. For other resources for parenting hurt children, Greg Keck, PhD. has a book called Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow. Deborah Gray has Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents. There are also web resources...: attach-[...] (not just for kids from China) and attach.org which has a listing of therapists who can help families parenting troubled kids. Radzebra.org has resources specifically for parents dealing with children diagnosed with RAD.

Thank you Deb for sharing a painful and yet inspirational story. There are many who would benefit from reading this book.

The story of the Hannah family recounted from the pourch of Deborah and Joe Hannah, was a surprise and engaging book. I could not put it down for long, as I was drawn to see this true life drama through. I was enticed by the recollection of the willingness to submit to God's love in opening their home to five foster children, by the sharing of the good times, and heartbroken by the losses. Truly amazed at it all, this book is a great read for anyone with heart.

If you are thinking about adopting or fostering a child this book is truly a must have. Even if you are parent with a child that you cannot reach mentally or emotionally. An Unlit path touched a very personal nerve with me and my family. The author had been through so many of the same things that we have and are going through. We often believe that professionals know how to help, but sometimes they may not know how. Through this book, Deborah shows us that there is light at the end of the path. Two + thumbs up!