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Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple Paperback – November 14, 2002


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Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple + Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 302 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press (November 14, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1569245665
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569245668
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 7 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #375,877 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Although these books examine the ins and outs of cohabitation from different viewpoints, they do agree on some basics: cohabitation is on the rise (there are 11 million cohabitors in this country today, claim Solot and Miller), and six out of ten couples live together before marriage (claim the Whitmans). Strangely enough, not many self-help manuals on the subject exist. Founders of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, Solot and Miller are a committed unmarried couple, and their book reflects this perspective. Although they acknowledge that many couples live together as a step before marriage, they are most concerned with couples who are planning to live together instead of getting married. They cover topics such as reasons why couples would decide not to get married, how unmarried couples can legally protect themselves, and how to agitate for acceptance of unmarried lifestyles. Stacy Whitman, a journalist currently living with her fianc , and her sister, lawyer Wynne Whitman, have a different focus. While they recognize that some couples might decide to live together ad infinitum, their advice pertains to couples for whom the wedding bells will eventually toll. They address many of the same areas as Solot and Miller, such as legal protection and how to deal with negative reactions from family and friends, but they also include advice on what to do if one member is not willing to tie the knot. Given the dearth of books on cohabitation, either of these would make great additions to public libraries. Also consider Ralph Warner and others' Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, endorsed by the authors here.
Pam Matthews, M.L.S., Olmsted Falls, OH
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

A must-read for anyone wanting to shack up .... this thoughtful, practical book ... offers guidance and questions to ponder. -- Utne Reader, September-October 2003

A thoughtful, no-nonsense resource for unwed partners both gay and straight...a unique and invaluable resource for the happily unwed. -- Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture, No. 20, 2003

Fantastic work...[Unmarried to Each Other's] warm style is such that it can be read "cover-to-cover," like a novel. -- The Texas Triangle, January 10, 2003

They've written the guidebook, and it's a triumph. ...Contains just about everything cohabs (and prospective cohabs) need to know. -- Free Inquiry, Spring 2003

Top-notch collection of advice for couples who want to keep their relationship strong -- with or without a marriage license. -- Minneapolis Star-Tribune, January 13, 2003

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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It's very readable and very thorough.
Nora A. Murphy
I am urging my partner to read this book so that we can work together towards making our partnership even better.
WitchGrrl
I highly recommend this book to anyone who's thinking of living with one's partner.
Jennifer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By T. Blikre on August 29, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Pair this with "Living Together- A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples" and you have a great resource. "Unmarried Together" is excellent in addressing the social and emotional aspects of living together, but is light on the legal angles. Considering the scope of the book, this is unavoidable. It's difficult to cover laws in all US states let alone other countries.
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27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 5, 2003
Format: Paperback
I was half way finished with this book, when I realized how thankful I was for the intelligent perspective and reporting of this alternative lifestyle. I have been in an unmarried relationship for twelve years. We have attempted the engagement and planning of a wedding twice. Both times the decision was made to call it off.This book helps me understand and accept our unconventional relationship and the reality that marriage may not be in our future. It helped me tremendously with the anger, sadness, and disappointment associated with the decision not to marry. Thank you to the authors for tackling this topic with humor, insight, and a lot of great information!
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful By WitchGrrl on November 22, 2002
Format: Paperback
As a person in a committed alternative relationship, I looked forward to the publication of this book by the founders of the Alternatives to Marriage Project for a long time. I hoped that it would get to the heart of what it means to be in a partnership, and how to create one. I have looked at books on marriage, but didn't find what I needed in them. Even though I plan to marry someday, I felt too alienated by the assumptions that things like monogamy and lifetime commitment were necessary ingredients to partnership success to get much out of them.
My chief hope for this book was that it would live up to its premise, being a practical guide to living with your partner. It definitely succeeded there. It contains very useful suggestions about things that you should work out with your partner before moving in together. I'm sure my transition to cohabitation would have been a lot smoother if I had read this book first! I was very impressed with the chapter on tools for creating long-term relationships. I know I'll want to refer to it over and over again in the coming years. Miller and Solot also analyzed in depth the different forms that marriage and cohabitation have taken throughout history. That was very interesting, and definitely dispelled the idea that there's only one right way to do things. Discussions of what to tell your relatives and how you can protect yourself legally as an unmarried person were included as well.
_Unmarried to Each Other_ is very readable, and organized in a logical way. The ideas in it flowed naturally from one chapter to the next. I really liked the inclusion of margin notes and grey boxes that delved further into side topics, they kept things interesting.
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 26, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book really opened my eyes. My boyfriend and I have lived together for 3 years, and I couldn't understand why he didn't want to get married right away. I found this book, and it really helped me understand his perspective. The book is very helpful. Each chapter is very informative. The book includes how to answer questions about your relationship, important legal issues, and a guide that tells you how to do something whether you are married or unmarried (i.e., changing your name, custody of children, etc.) A good read for any couple - living together or not, considering marriage or not, same-sex or different-sex couples.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 17, 2002
Format: Paperback
I really liked this book. The authors did a terrific job of combining all sorts of practical advice with lots of real life stories that kept me interested and even fascinated. As an unmarried person living with a partner, I found it filled with good ideas.
What I liked the best was all the fascinating anecdotes and stories. Not only were they interesting in themselves, but they brought home important points about the struggles and victories of unmarried partners trying to make a happy life together. And I like the way the text is filled with boxes and sidebars that keep it interesting. They add all sorts of extra information - from poems to statistics.
If you're in an unmarried relationship, whether you're thinking about living together, you've recently joined households, or you've been living together for years, this book will give you ways to enhance your relationship. Get a copy for yourself, and, while you're at it, get one for your parents!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 17, 2002
Format: Paperback
This is an excellent book -- informative, entertaining, and inspiring! It offers great insights for those who want to take the step to live together before marriage, those who want a long term relationship without marriage, as well as people who just want to understand why so many are choosing this path. The subtitle is "The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple" and this book really does have just about everything you'd want to know! It includes heartfelt stories from many people's lives. My partner and I especially enjoyed reading Solot and Miller's ten ways to have fun together without breaking the bank--great advice for any couple who want to keep the spark alive.
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