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Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots [Kindle Edition]

Deborah Feldman
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (847 customer reviews)

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Kindle Price: $11.99
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Book Description

The instant New York Times bestselling memoir of a young Jewish woman’s escape from a religious sect, in the tradition of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel and Carolyn Jessop’s Escape, featuring a new epilogue by the author.

As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read. It was stolen moments spent with the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott that helped her to imagine an alternative way of life. Trapped as a teenager in a sexually and emotionally dysfunctional marriage to a man she barely knew, the tension between Deborah’s desires and her responsibilities as a good Satmar girl grew more explosive until she gave birth at nineteen and realized that, for the sake of herself and her son, she had to escape.


Editorial Reviews

Review

One of O magazine's "10 Titles to Pick Up Now"

“Deborah Feldman was raised in an insular, oppressive world where she was taught that, as a woman, she wasn’t capable of independent thought. But she found the pluck and determination needed to make the break from that world and has written a brave, riveting account of her journey. Unorthodox is harrowing, yet triumphant.”—Jeannette Walls, #1 bestselling author of The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses

“[Feldman’s] matter-of-fact style masks some penetrating insights.”—The New York Times

“An unprecedented view into a Hasidic community that few outsiders ever experience. . . . Unorthodox reminds us that there are religious communities in the United States that restrict young women to marriage and motherhood. These women are expected to be obedient to their community and religion, without question or complaint, no matter the price.”Minneapolis Star-Tribune

“Riveting . . . extraordinary.”—Marie Claire

“Eloquent, appealing, and just emotional enough . . . No doubt girls all over Brooklyn are buying this book, hiding it under their mattresses, reading it after lights out—and contemplating, perhaps for the first time, their own escape.”—HuffingtonPost.com

“Deborah Feldman has stripped the cloak off the insular Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, offering outsiders a rare glimpse into the ultraconservative world in which she was raised.”Globe and Mail (Toronto)

“Compulsively readable, Unorthodox relates a unique coming-of-age story that manages to speak personally to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider in her own life. Feldman bravely lays her soul bare, unflinchingly sharing intimate thoughts and ideas unthinkable within the deeply religious existence of the Satmars. . . . Teens will devour this candid, detailed memoir of an insular way of life so unlike that of the surrounding society.”—School Library Journal

“[Feldman’s] no-holds-barred memoir bookstores on February 14th. And it’s not exactly a Valentine to the insular world of shtreimels, sheitels and shtiebels. Instead, [Unorthodox] describes an oppressive community in which secular education is minimal, outsiders are feared and disdained, English-language books are forbidden, mental illness is left untreated, abuse and other crimes go unreported . . . a surprisingly moving, well-written and vivid coming-of-age tale.”The Jewish Week

“Imagine Frank McCourt as a Jewish virgin, and you've got Unorthodox in a nutshell . . . a sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story.”Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“[Deborah Feldman's] is an extraordinary story of struggle and dream. . . . Both her escape and her decision to tell her story are magnificent acts of courage.”—Anouk Markovits, author of I Am Forbidden

“Unorthodox is a fascinating book . . . Feldman’s voice resonates throughout.”The Jewish Daily Forward

“Denied every kind of nourishment except the doughy, shimmering plates of food obsessively produced by her Holocaust-survivor grandmother . . . books nourish [Feldman’s] spirit and put in her hands the liberatory power of storytelling. As she becomes a reader and then a writer, Feldman reinvents herself as a human being.”Newsday (New York)

Unorthodoz is painfully good. . . .Unlike so many other authors who have left Orthodoxy and written about it, [Feldman’s] heart is not hardened by hatred, and her spirit is wounded but intact. . . . She is a sensitive and talented writer.”—JewishJournal.com

Unorthodox is consistently engaging. And the very fact of it is touching. For years . . . [Feldman] examined library shelves, marveling that there were so many men and women who believed in their ‘innate right . . . to speak their mind in whatever way they saw fit.’ That she has joined their ranks is remarkable indeed.”—BarnesandNobleReview.com

“Feldman gives us special insight into a closed and repressive world. . . . Her memoir is fresh and tart and utterly absorbing.”Library Journal

“Nicely written . . . [An] engaging and at times gripping insight into Brooklyn's Hasidic community.”Publishers Weekly

“A remarkable tale.”Kirkus Reviews

“Feldman’s evolution as well as her look inside a closed community make for fascinating reading … her storyteller’s sense and a keen eye for details give readers a you-are-there sense of what it is like to be different when everyone else is the same.”Booklist

Review

One of O magazine's "10 Titles to Pick Up Now"

“Deborah Feldman was raised in an insular, oppressive world where she was taught that, as a woman, she wasn’t capable of independent thought. But she found the pluck and determination needed to make the break from that world and has written a brave, riveting account of her journey. Unorthodox is harrowing, yet triumphant.”—Jeannette Walls, #1 bestselling author of The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses

“[Feldman’s] matter-of-fact style masks some penetrating insights.”—The New York Times

“An unprecedented view into a Hasidic community that few outsiders ever experience. . . . Unorthodox reminds us that there are religious communities in the United States that restrict young women to marriage and motherhood. These women are expected to be obedient to their community and religion, without question or complaint, no matter the price.”Minneapolis Star-Tribune

“Riveting . . . extraordinary.”—Marie Claire

“Eloquent, appealing, and just emotional enough . . . No doubt girls all over Brooklyn are buying this book, hiding it under their mattresses, reading it after lights out—and contemplating, perhaps for the first time, their own escape.”—HuffingtonPost.com

“Deborah Feldman has stripped the cloak off the insular Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, offering outsiders a rare glimpse into the ultraconservative world in which she was raised.”Globe and Mail (Toronto)

“Compulsively readable, Unorthodox relates a unique coming-of-age story that manages to speak personally to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider in her own life. Feldman bravely lays her soul bare, unflinchingly sharing intimate thoughts and ideas unthinkable within the deeply religious existence of the Satmars. . . . Teens will devour this candid, detailed memoir of an insular way of life so unlike that of the surrounding society.”—School Library Journal

“[Feldman’s] no-holds-barred memoir bookstores on February 14th. And it’s not exactly a Valentine to the insular world of shtreimels, sheitels and shtiebels. Instead, [Unorthodox] describes an oppressive community in which secular education is minimal, outsiders are feared and disdained, English-language books are forbidden, mental illness is left untreated, abuse and other crimes go unreported . . . a surprisingly moving, well-written and vivid coming-of-age tale.”The Jewish Week

“Imagine Frank McCourt as a Jewish virgin, and you've got Unorthodox in a nutshell . . . a sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story.”Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Product Details

  • File Size: 2153 KB
  • Print Length: 274 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (February 14, 2012)
  • Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005GG0M60
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #27,764 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
496 of 547 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I have actually read the book February 20, 2012
By Coach K
Format:Hardcover
I start with this title, because after reading many of the reviews below, it seems that most people have not, and there is a not so subtle battle ensuing as people are defending their belief system against those that offend it. The reviews below remind me of those surrounding "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, which simply became a battleground of athiests vs believers. Take most reviews and ratings with a grain of salt.

About the book:

WHAT I LIKED
1) This is a rare glimpse into the Satmar world, unique among books because a)The author is the rare person who got out b) She had the courage to write about it c) Has the decent enough English skills to do so (Yiddish is the first language for Satmar Jews)

2)It exposes the darker side of the Satmar sect, where religion is more a matter of appearances that true spiritual growth. It shows religious hypocrisy at its worst.

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
1) While the book is most certainly authentic in a general sense, I wonder about how much exaggeration there might be. The author is passionate and clearly has a very personal agenda. It remains a question how much the author allowed her emotions to stretch the truth at times. The incredulous murder story, (since debunked?) certainly lends some credence to these doubts.

2) The book seemed to delve into detail when such detail was boring, but often devoted only a short paragraph to matters that begged for more. Overall, there was too much on her childhood, not enough on the story of how she left.

3) While impressive for an ex-Hasid, it is not written particularly well.
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230 of 253 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is a very intriguing book because it gives an insight into growing up in the Orthodox Jewish Hasidic community of Satmar. Although I was familiar with other Hasidic sects, the Satmar were new to me. She explains it mostly through the eyes of a child so I had to do a bit of on-line research to learn more about them. The biggest surprise is their complete opposition to Israel - they believe they must wait for the coming of the Messiah to return to their homeland - but much of the daily life seems similar (to me) to other Hasidic communities. From childhood, she longed for more in both learning and reading. She had to sneak to read English language books as they were forbidden but her hunger drove her to take the risk and she became fluent in English. This would help her professionally but also cause her to keep questioning what she saw around her. (Perhaps her elders were right - English leads to trouble, particularly for women!)

I know there will be criticism from some in the Jewish community who consider Ms. Feldman an apostate for leaving Orthodoxy, but leaving aside those ideological issues, there is a lot to learn from this book. I think she is careful to write very kindly of her grandparents (who raised her) even though her leaving must have been a great blow to them (she does not write about that) but she is frankly critical of the rigid rules and some of the hypocrisy she saw. I admire her honesty. And in her defense, this kind of expose could be written about many other closed groups - Amish, Morman, Christian fundamentalist, Muslims, Catholic monasteries, etc. In such an insular environment anyone who rebels against the group must appear to be a traitor to those who remain.
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136 of 150 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I have mixed feelings too February 29, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
First, I actually read the book. Secondly, I am a Roman Catholic, but I do have Jewish ancestry, which is what inspired me to read this book.

The author is very young and sometimes her writing seems amateur and immature. Other times, she seems to contradict herself, almost as if she is still having trouble parting with her faith; she probably is. Her upbringing, culture, and faith are her foundation and questions, parting with, and being highly critical of that foundation would make most wobble a bit and appear to make contradictions, especially at the age of 24.

That being said, she does a good job introducing the reader to a world and culture usually closed to outsiders; the world of the Satmar. Some of her claims seem unbelievable and far-fetched, such as a story about a man that kills his boy when he catches him masturbating. What makes this story even more unbelievable is her claim that the Jewish emergency service helped him cover-up the killing of his child and dispose of the body. This story is obviously not true. The author doesn't claim to have witnessed this event, but instead, she claims that her husband was told about this, from another source. I can see how someone raised in a culture that shuns televisions, the English language, newspapers, and just about any form of media, could easily be led to believe such a story. It is possible that the author made up this story to embellish the book, but it is more likely that she was told this story, by someone she trusted, and she was gullible enough to believe it.

This story is about a culture that turned insular, in an effort to survive and became repressive and oppressive.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Brooklyn's Hasidic community
Enjoyed the book. I learned new facts about the different sects in the Hasidic community.
I feel there were several things which were not addressed in the book. Read more
Published 5 days ago by Suzie A.
4.0 out of 5 stars A Prejudiced View
I consider myself to be "conservadox" in the realm of Judaism as is my youngest son. My two oldest sons are both modern orthodox, the middle son more left than the oldest. Read more
Published 10 days ago by papacanes
3.0 out of 5 stars INTERESTING - I FELT THAT SHE LEFT OUT TOO MANY ...
INTERESTING - I FELT THAT SHE LEFT OUT TOO MANY FACTS THAT WOULD HAVE MAYBE CREATED A MORE INTERESTING BOOK.
Published 13 days ago by Carol Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
good book
Published 15 days ago by Njo2000
5.0 out of 5 stars inspiring Memoir
When our book club selected this book, I had not heard of it. But I'm sure glad we did! It is a beautifully written account of a young woman's coming of age. It is so authentic. Read more
Published 20 days ago by Lisa Jason
5.0 out of 5 stars would recommend this bovid
I would recommend this book to my friends and family. Written well and able to understand . Made it easy to read even though I was unfamiliar with Hasidic people.
Published 24 days ago by Peggy Siegel
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
tooooo complicated..need a nuts and bolts basic machine
Published 26 days ago by Grandma
5.0 out of 5 stars One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
One flew east and one flew west and one flew over the cuckoo's nest. These words kept coming to me as I read this amazing story. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Alice Bidois
5.0 out of 5 stars a fascinating book
An honest look into a world I know so little about. I have always known about Orthodox and even driven through that section of Brooklyn but I never really knew about their daily... Read more
Published 27 days ago by eclecticcrafter
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing
Unorthodox was an amazing book that I didn't want to put down. Reading about her culture and her struggle really opened my eyes to what other religions and cultures go through in... Read more
Published 27 days ago by Marissa Parker
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