Customer Reviews

The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Much of Heinlein's early writing was tied to his envisioned Future History, but he had a few stories that didn't fit into that mold, stories that frequently showed a different side of Heinlein, a more mystical, musing, fantastical side than what appeared in his standard science fiction fare. The stories here are part of this very different group.

"The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathon Hoag" first appeared in the Oct 1942 edition of Unknown magazine, as by "John Riverside" (one of about six of Heinlein's pseudonyms). Mr. Hoag has a problem: in the evenings he finds a curious reddish residue under his fingernails, and no memory of what he was doing during the day to get that residue. So he hires a husband and wife team of detectives to follow him around and find out what is really going on. The trail leads to non-existent 13th floors, some very shadowy characters who are part of the Order of the Bird, and a conclusion that reality really isn't what we think it is. Some good suspense, reasonable characterization, but the final answer that Heinlein presents may leave you feeling a little let down, and I had difficulty believing in the scenario.

"They", first printed in the April 1941 issue of Unknown, is a minor classic. Here is paranoia run rampant; the main character just knows that everything around him is just a setup meant to keep him ignorant of the true state of the world. Of course, it's only paranoia if such a belief is incorrect... One of his better early stories.

"Our Fair City" first appeared in the Jan 1949 issue of Weird Tales, and is an out-and-out fantasy, with an intelligent whirlwind used as an instrument to bring down a corrupt city government. Mildly amusing but a pretty slight effort.

"The Man Who Traveled in Elephants" was apparently written in 1948, but didn't get published till Oct 1957 in Saturn magazine. When I first read this, I thought it was a totally unremarkable, very quiet story, detailing a man and his wife who travel to all the various county/state fairs; the sights, sounds, and exhibits of such affairs. By the end of the story it is clear that this is the man's version of heaven. Reading this again, I begin to wonder if this story is actually a key to Heinlein's personal beliefs about both the hereafter and the reasons for living, and the story is actually quite charming and heart-warming.

"...And He Built a Crooked House" first appeared in Feb 1941 issue of Astounding; as such it's the earliest work in this collection. It's all about an architect who designs and builds an 'exploded' three-dimensional version of a four-dimensional tesseract, then has it collapse into a real four-dimensional house when one of California's innumerable earthquakes strikes. A minor piece, though it will warp your mind a bit, and has some historical interest as the street where this house was supposedly built is the one Heinlein was living on when this was written.

"...All You Zombies" is the newest story here, first published in the March, 1959 issue of Fantasy & Science Fiction. It's also, for my money, the best and most inventive story of the bunch, and possibly the ultimate in time-travel stories. Starting from a bartender listening to one of his (male) customers complain about how tough life is in the "True Confession" writing racket, it proceeds to be the complete answer (at least for one person) to the question of the beginning of everything and to the inherent paradoxes of time travel. Warning: this is not a children's story, some of the situations described within it probably make it unsuitable for anyone younger than mid-teens.

As a group, these stories are a mixed bag. They show inventiveness in plot and theme, are all at least reasonably well written, but some cross the line of believability, others make too minor a point to be really good stories. Still, a very different set of stories from what some call the greatest science fiction writer, ever.

--- Reviewed by Patrick Shepherd (hyperpat)

Why in the world did they let this gem go out of print?Heinlein was often at his best in his shorter works, and each of thestories in it is a matserpiece of the genre. The ideas are totallyoriginal, the writing is spare and sharp, and the dialog is crisp and to the point. No sci-fi jargon, no talk of fusion drives and orbital mechanics.

The title story, "The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag", begins with a simple premise- a man comes to a private eye and asks him to figurie out what he does all day. He can't remember anything of the day's events, and worries that the material he finds under his fingernails might be blood. It isn't; it's dirt, but something infintely more bizarre is waiting to be discovered.

"He Built A Crooked House" is one of the wittiest, most imaginative short stories I've ever come across. An architect designs a modern house meant to resemble a three-dimensional projection of a hypercube, but when he and his client arrive after an earthquake, something quite odd has happened to the house. END

This is the side of Heinlein that's not really showcased in his more traditional hard sf: Heinlein the mystic, as in some of his other early work like Assignment in Eternity, etc. This stuff should maybe be classified as horror. The title story is classical horror that stays with you; All You Zombies is an all-time classic time-travel story, but very disturbing. Them is even more disturbing - Stephen King never wrote a more elegant short-short. The sweetest story is The Man Who Traveled in Elephants - which is about death. Crooked House reads like a classical math-problem sf story - but what do they see out the window? Very, very interesting set of stories: a potential revelation for fans of the hard-sf Heinlein. You can really see the seeds that would later sprout into Stranger in a Strange Land and Job.

This book collects some of Heinlein's earlier efforts in the fantasy vein. There's virtually no science fiction here, but there are some interesting ideas. The title piece is almost a short novel, and features a husband and wife detective team who are hired to find out exactly what their client does during the daylight hours. The answer takes them on a journey through the looking glass to a world of evil secrets that lie just beneath the surface of our comfortable reality. There are plenty of surprises and a fair amount of suspense, but Heinlein's hazy ending may leave some readers unsatisfied. The remaining stories in the collection are a pretty mixed bag, highlighted by "All You Zombies", which is not about zombies at all, but still delivers a powerful punch. Without giving away the plot, the protagonist manages to recount the story of his (generally speaking) totally unique life. Although by no means prurient, this story has some sexual components that could lead to very embarrassing questions if read by the very young, so be forewarned. Equally solipsistic is the paranoid fantasy "They", in which a mental patient questions the very nature of reality. Heinlein seems to enjoy this kind of philosophical rambling, but apart from the sharp ending, this story has little to recommend it. Similarly, "-And He Built a Crooked House" involves speculation of a more mathematical nature. An iconoclast architect designs, and then actually builds, a house in four dimensions, with what one assumes to be intended as comic effect, although having a stuffy dowager faint repeatedly seems more like an exercise in misogyny than in humor. Even sillier is "Our Fair City", in which Heinlein shows how a nosy newsman takes down a corrupt city government with the help of a trained pet whirlwind. And "The Man Who Traveled in Elephants" is a wholly forgettable story about a man who spends his declining years visiting state fairs. Heinlein shows considerable inventiveness in finding utterly unique plotlines for these stories, but not all of them actually succeed. Still, this is a pretty entertaining collection, and should provide a welcome diversion for fantasy fans who are looking for something a little offbeat.

Heinlein's 6xH is a collection of (would you believe it?) six of Heinlein's short stories ranging in tone from warmly optimistic and almost religious through paranormal mysticism all the way to hard core multi-dimensional (both space and time) sci-fi. Just as the tone and nature of the stories represent a wildly eclectic blend of plots and characters, the quality and credibility of the stories is all over the literary map as well! But, rest assured, it's all vintage Heinlein and will certainly appeal to Heinlein fans!

The centre piece of the collection, The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag (***), is a 125 page novella that, in a fashion vaguely reminiscent of Robert Louis Stevenson's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, tells us of Hoag's total inability to recall what he does during the day. When he hires a very earthy and yet very warm and loving husband and wife team of detectives to follow him, we are treated to a sparkling story filled with superb dialogue, terrific suspense and first-rate characterization. Sadly, like a poorly written episode of The Twilight Zone, the story ultimately dissolves into a conclusion of meaningless metaphysical bafflegab that left me completely deflated as a reader and asking what happened.

The Man Who Traveled in Elephants (*****), in a remarkably small number of words, not only describes a positively astonishing cross section of 1940s American cultural snippets but also clearly delivers the message that happiness both here on earth and ultimately in a heavenly after-life is in the eye of the beholder. Warm, uplifting, charming, believable and well-delivered without a trace of religious or preachy overtones. Wonderful, indeed!

In "---All You Zombies---" (**), Heinlein has prepared a racy, adult-rated time travel tale that opens with a bartender, clearly a time traveler and recruiter for other potential time travelers, listening to a customer's tales of woe over his beer. Once again, Heinlein's dialogue is crisp and realistic as is the characterization but (and how ironic is this?) the story has not stood the test of time. Heinlein completely ignores the issue of time travel paradoxes and, as a result, the story ends up unresolved in a most unsatisfactory fashion.

They (***) presents a morbid, dark and probably realistic vision of serious mental illness, or at least debilitating paranoia from the point of view of the suffering patient. The twist at the conclusion of the tale, while entertaining, is perhaps just a little too predictable and, frankly, is not sufficiently resolved to be completely satisfying.

A whimsical flight of fancy, indeed, Our Fair City (*) tells the story of an animated whirlwind that seems to know its own mind and makes friends with Pete Perkins, an elderly all night parking attendant. While treating us to some truly inspired slapstick comedic moments, ultimately this childish whirlwind dwindles to a limpid zephyr and then just hits the doldrums.

On the other hand, "And He Built a Crooked House" (****), also clearly intended as a lighthearted fantasy with a bent towards comedy succeeds in a walk. Heinlein gives us an out on the edge California (where else?) architect with an extraordinarily imaginative idea for his clients - a new age house designed as eight cubes stacked in the shape of a tesseract. Imagine the confusion when, in the middle of the guided tour, they are jostled by an earthquake tremor and their brand new home somehow collapses into the fourth dimension and folds back up into a hypercube. At once, funny, mind-bending, tantalizing, novel and provocative.

An interesting, collection of stories that must be read by and I dare say will even appeal to diehard Heinlein fans in order for them to say they've read it all. But, for my money, I'll call it a very average rating overall as science fiction goes and a disappointment coming from the pen of a master such as Heinlein.

This is my favorite book by Heinlein that I have read thus far. It is actually a collection of short stories, with the title novella being the longest one. It is truly a good story. Not hard science fiction, but more of a mystery. SF fans and non-fans alike will like this story, it is very suspenseful and a real page turner.

The other stories are The Man Who Traveled In Elephants, a throwaway; All You Zombies, a good story that is probably the weirdest story from an author known for weird storie; They, a very thought-provoking story, with feelings from the main character that I'm sure we've all felt at one time or another; Our Fair City, a hilarous short story that had me laughing out loud numerous times; and He Built A Crooked House, another grand tale that will leave Geometry experts saying "Hmmm...".

Read this book. It is one of those books that you will just find near impossible to put down, and you will regret it when you finally do.

I have read just about everything Heinlein wrote. I love this guy. He is an author, like Vonnegut, best suited for young adults (15-25). I like to break his stories into two separate categories. First, his early work (Starship Troopers or Citizen of the Galaxy), these were intended for youngsters. They are great even as an adult, but you can see through the whimsical writing style as an older person. Then you have what I think of his post first encounter with mind altering drugs and his work like (Stranger in a Strange Land and The Cat who Walks Through Walls). Man these are dynamite stories. Lastly, he wrote just one or two books that dont fall into his usual writing styles. The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag is much more akin to a Philip K Dick novel than Heinlein.

The story is out there. Its a melding of early noir private eye (think of the movies Maltese Falcon or the Thin Man) & if you have read him Philip K Dicks' unusual Twilight Zone style early stories. This sounds like it would be just about perfect, at least to my ears, but its dragged down quite a bit by Heinlein's overly dry prose. By dry, I mean a style of writing that lacks depth of character.

The plot is pretty complicated and continues to get more complicated as it goes along. It starts off with a guy who hires a husband/wife private eye team to tell him what he does during the daytime. He can only remember what he does at night. The guy has two separate personalities.

Pretty soon the private eyes are confronted with creatures living in alternate universes that travel through mirrors, other characters frightened by something so badly that they wont talk about anything dealing with the split personality guy, and more.

For myself, its so odd to read this story, think that "wow, this was written only 70 years ago" and to see how much different society was then. Women had their place. Men acted a certain way. The writing conveys a totally different social norm than what we have today.

I would suggest this story if you are a person who likes Heinlein, Twilight Zone, or Philip K Dick. This will be a fun read. Otherwise, if you have not read anything by either of the authors, I would suggest instead trying 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls' or 'Now Wait For Yesterday'.

"The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag". If that's not an eye-grabbing title, I don't know what is. Unfortunately, the text within the covers doesn't quite live up to it. Jonathan Hoag remembers the mornings, and he remembers the evenings, but he doesn't quite remember what he does for a living during the day. To solve this mystery, he hires two private detectives to tail him and report his movements to him. The more they try to do so, the more confusing and seemingly impossible phenomenon they encounter. This novella keeps you reading just to see how Heinlein will wrap up all the contradictions in the end. Unfortunately, he doesn't. There is a conclusion that provides some metaphysical food for thought, but it's not really a satisfactory explanation of everything that happened. "The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag" does boast distinctive characters, and crisp, clean, believable dialogue.

The other flagship story in this collection is "And He Built a Crooked House". The story of an architect who won't take no for an answer and a suburban couple who get trapped in one of his designs, this little exercise in cleverness will delight the mathematically minded with its musings on higher dimensions and lower intellects. The rest is a hodgepodge. "They" is an initially intriguing exploration of paranoia, but the ending doesn't punch the way Heinlein wants it to. "Our Fair City" is an amusing but not particularly thought-provoking tale about a miniature tornado that gets involved in politics. "All You Zombies" is yet another pointless time-travel story.

Lastly there's "The Man Who Traveled in Elephants". One of the master's more unusual stories, it explores the life of a quirky elderly couple who travel around attending county fairs. The point is to suggest that Heaven will be a carnival, complete with cotton candy and a parade of elephants. With no real science fiction component, it gives us instead an unusual take on finding your purpose on Earth. But for some reason I found it strangely unsatisfying in the end. Regardless, below average Heinlein is still above average fiction.

Read by Tom Weiner
Approximately 4 hours
Blackstone Audio

Multiple Hugo Award winning author Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988) changes his tone with the novella The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag. This audiobook seems much more like a Philip K. Dick story than a Heinlein story since it features none of the themes that Heinlein is well known for, like space travel, alien contact or time travel. Instead, we get an extra helping of creepy with a surprise ending that truly demonstrates Heinlein's ability to master a variety of styles.

First published under a pseudonym in the now-defunct magazine Unknown in 1942, The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag features Ted and Cynthia Randall, a husband and wife private detective team based in Chicago. They are approached by a fastidious little man with a topcoat and silk gloves named Jonathan Hoag. He has an odd proposition - he offers them a preposterously large retainer to help him figure out what he does for a living. Mr. Hoag knows that he has a well-paying job that pays him cash, but he does not have the faintest idea what that job is. The crisis began while he was at a dinner party and another guest commented on the reddish stains under his fingernails and asked what he did for a living to leave such a residue behind. He was very bothered to find that he did not know.

Ted and Cynthia agree to help him and find that this may not be as easy as they thought. They find that everything about Mr. Hoag seems to be a mystery and the more they interact with him, the more they doubt their own eyes and ears. Soon enough they discover that "the whole world might be just a fraud and an illusion."

The story suffers a bit from age, which is to be expected. After all, this story is nearly 70 years old. Some of the expressions that are used may have been very hip and stylish in 1942 but they sound a bit clunky to the ear nowadays. Also, some aspects of the story such as elevator operators and doctors making house calls may be totally foreign concepts to some listeners. That being said, the underlying story overcomes all of that window dressing. Rumor has it that a movie version of this story is in the works as well.

Award-winning narrator Tom Weiner skillfully handles a variety of different voices throughout. He voices Mr. Hoag perfectly, catching his prissy, fussy nature throughout, but adding a different tone once we discover his true profession. His characterization of the story's bad guys (I am intentionally not describing them so as not to ruin their scenes) has the perfect amount of menace and mystery.

_The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathon Hoag_ (1959) is a collection of six tales by Robert A. Heinlein*-- not as many as those in _The Menace from Earth_ (1959); but I believe that they are of generally higher quality. None of the stories are Future History tales. Two of the stories-- "They" and "--All You Zombies--"-- clearly play with the theme of solipsism, though in markedly different ways. One story-- the title story-- plays with our feelings of paranoia. The remaining three tales are much lighter in tone. This collection is better balanced than many that I have read.

Let us start, then, with "The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag," originally published in _Unknown_ under the pseudonym of "John Riverside". Jonathan Hoag is an amnesiac who is for some reason terrified of dirt that appears regularly under his own fingernails. He goes to see the husband and wife detective team of Randall & Craig and asks them to follow him... and there follows an awesome amount of twists and turns. By the close of this short novel, you may be moving from your home and getting rid of all the mirrors in your house.

"They," also from _Unknown_, is the small classic about the man in the insane asylum who _knows_ that the world revolves around himself. "--All You Zombies--" is a classic time travel story in which a host of characters become a character. You and me and the rest of the world? Well, we are merely zombies. It is more tightly told than Heinlein's earlier time paradox classic, "By His Bootstraps" (collected elsewhere). It is the best story in the collection.

"-- And He Built a Crooked House--" is an oft-reprinted story in mathematical theme anthologies. It's the one about the architect who designs a tesseract house with disasterous consequences. And it contains the lines:

"Neutra! Schinder! What have those bums got? What's Frank Lloyd Wright got that I haven't got?"
"Commissions." (192)

"Our Fair City," an entry from _Weird Tales_, is the one about Kitten, the intelligent whirlwind who topples a corrupt city government. It is pleasantly told, but it is the least of the stories in this collection.

When Heinlein chose to do so, he could tell a straightforward sentimental tale. Two examples are "Requiem" and "The Green Hils of Earth". Another is "The Man Who Traveled in Elephants," about the good-hearted salesman who found heaven but didn't know it. It was especially appealing to me for its background of fairs, carousels, and parades.

Heinlein's short fiction tapered off in the 1950s. I wish he had written a few more short stories in the sixties and seventies. I wonder... If he had, what would they have been like?

* An alternate (and rather dreadful) title of this collection is _6 X H_.