Unraveled: One Woman's Story of Moving Out, Moving On, and Becoming a Better Mother [Paperback]

Maria Housden (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 23, 2006

As a twelve-year-old girl, Maria Housden’s vision of a happy future included everything that society expects girls to yearn for: a home, a husband, and, of course, children. Life had other plans.

Unraveled is Housden’s riveting and thoughtful story of how, after the death of her young daughter, she found the courage to break away from her role as a wife and stay-at-home mom and strike out on her own in search of a more fulfilling life. Leaving her three surviving children in the primary custody of her husband, Housden faced down the disbelief of friends and family and began a journey that would ultimately lead her not only to the truth about herself, but also to a deeper and more loving connection with her children.

Housden writes about the emotional reckoning that led to her decision and the ways in which she has become the best mother she can be while no longer living with her children full-time. With fierce honesty and the same gift for poignantly beautiful writing that she demonstrated in the bestselling Hannah’s Gift, Housden makes a valuable contribution to our collective conversation about mothering, marriage, and the assumptions we make about the way life is supposed to be. Unraveled is the remarkable story of one woman’s choice not to live every girl’s dream . . . and instead to find her own.


From the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Maria Housden gives the rest of us permission to live lives of truth. Unraveled once again proves that hers is a voice to be reckoned with. She brilliantly and with subtle lyricism negotiates the shoals of love and loss, but it’s more than that. . . . Housden consistently leaves her readers wiser, less alone, and cradling a palpable sense of the very good possibility of triumph.” —Suzanne Finnamore, author of Otherwise Engaged and The Zygote Chronicles

“Maria Housden probes the rewarding/maddening underside of what it means to be a wife and mother. In her brave quest for self-fulfillment, she empowers others to challenge expectations. Her gentle wisdom is a gift to us all.” —Suzy Farbman, author of Back from Betrayal

“Learning to live without knowing, accepting uncertainty and yet following the heart’s yearning and wisdom. These are the lessons Maria Housden so elegantly shares in this deeply personal recounting of her life. Her words have made me a better woman.” —Arielle Ford, author of Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover

“Unraveled does for mothers everywhere what M. Scott Peck did for truth seekers in The Road Less Traveled. Absolutely brilliant.” —Mark Matousek, author of Sex Death Enlightenment and The Boy He Left Behind

“Housden has taken all of her pain and accepted its place and purpose in her life, and now shares her inspiration with the world. If you are a mother struggling to know who you are, this book will inspire you to your core.” —Tara Paterson, founder of JustForMom.com


From the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Maria Housden is an author and lecturer. Her first book, Hannah’s Gift: Lessons from a Life Fully Lived, has become an inter-national bestseller, translated into more than fifteen foreign languages.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (May 23, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400054176
• ISBN-13: 978-1400054176
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 0.6 x 5.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #933,290 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Moved but not in full agreement..., October 21, 2006

By 

Jennifer M. Garciadeosuna (Albany, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Unraveled: One Woman's Story of Moving Out, Moving On, and Becoming a Better Mother (Paperback)

I do recommend this book because it will certainly stir up your emotions and opinions about being a mother, having a family, and committing to yourself as a woman. At a basic and fundamental level, I see Housen's journey and actions as brave and true. I agree that she hit a point of no return in terms of honesty to herself and the need to accept and support the changes that were going on inside of her. I agree she needed solitude, reflection, and to demand the space and time to cultivate her creative expressions.

However, the more I read on, and really thought about how she was framing her decisions, the less I thought that leaving her family was truly the necessary way to go. Perhaps they should have still hired the au pair, a housekeeper, rented a separate apartment of the beach. Perhaps she still needed to demand space to drink her morning coffee, throw starfish in the ocean, be honest, and write. Perhaps when family life started clouding her own reflections, she needed to go to that other apartment and claim herself again. I am in complete understanding and agreement, as a mother and creative individual myself. Yet, she short-changed herself, her growth, and most certainly her children in her thinking/decision that the only way to be that woman was to fully leave the woman she already was. The creativity, strength, and growth that comes from demanding space and honorment for your true self and your true creative journey WITHIN the responsibilities you have already created for yourself - most specifically your relationship with your children - is an opportunity for, not a refusal of, growth. I do not doubt her love for her children - no true mother ever would once you see for yourself what that love is like - but I am highly skeptical of the happiness she truly ends up with. It seems like she threw the baby out with the bathwater - or rather, three babies. There ARE ways to embrace deep and fundamental personal changes while still allowing yourself to care for your children.

I don't fully blame Housden for what I think is a lack of insight. No doubt society sets us up to believe in the black or white dichotomoy - either you give up your life for your children, or you give up children for your life. It is untrue and the way to have passion for the caregiving of your children, family life, and most especially yourself, your creativity, and your soulfulness is to work - constantly, endlessly, in micro-moments of the everyday to demand that space, that solitude in the midst of the hands-on work of children.

Should she have given up the woman she was becoming? Certainly not. But did she give up too much in thinking that the ONLY way to become that woman was to leave? Yes, she did. To her own detriment, let alone that of her children.

I think had the storyline of her life gone in another direction - she moved out, she took the time and space to explore, she embraced the woman she was becoming, she became an artist, and then she moved back to her children and worked to be the creative simple soulful caregiver (sorry, 14% of her children's life doesn't exactly count as caregiving, she sounds more like a favorite aunt or the grandparent) writer - then I would have fully embraced this story as a contribution to the dilemma that mothers today face. So, in the end, I was moved, and I was moved to think, but I don't fully agree with where she took her life ultimately.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars True Authenticity!, February 13, 2008

By 

Julie Molner "certified life coach" (Michigan) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Unraveled: One Woman's Story of Moving Out, Moving On, and Becoming a Better Mother (Paperback)

The author Maria Housden is indeed a woman of great strength and courage to have been able to make the difficult choices she has made in her life. Being authentic and coming from a place of true honesty and openness is not easy in our society and yet Maria continues to do so regardless of what others think. And she does so from a place of love.

There's no doubt that Maria's choices are not for everyone. However, I wonder how many of us have the courage to be true to ourselves. How often do we live out of fear of what others will think or in a way that fits the "shoulds" in our mind? Maria's story in this book is an inspiration to anyone who desires to live more authentically rather than live a lie. Her story and writing style are so engaging I had difficulty putting the book down.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking, July 3, 2007

By 

M. Klaassen "Melissa K." (Ohio USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Unraveled: One Woman's Story of Moving Out, Moving On, and Becoming a Better Mother (Paperback)

I loved Hannah's gift, Maria Housden's first book, so I had to read this book. It is absolutely spellbinding. I have an extremely medically fragile daughter-also a Hannah, who has nearly died so many times, and 2 other special needs children. I relate to Ms. Housden's feelings of needing to be true and fully pursue her talents. I really miss my passions, and can relate to how a crisis with an ill or dying child shakes a family and relationships of all kinds to their roots and many sacrifices are made and the world never quite looks the same.
This book was written so you can see into Maria's soul, and she is brave about baring truths that most women wouldn't let see the light of day.
I would love a sequal to see how her life changes. I don't judge her, I admire her courage and strength. I wish her family well.