Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss [Paperback]

Kim Kluger-Bell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 26, 2000

This comforting and healing book is a must--not only for women who have at one time experienced pregnancy loss but also for their parents, sisters, daughters, brothers, and friends. Kim Kluger-Bell's extensive fieldwork as a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of reproductive crises strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding pregnancy losses and abortions, giving new voice to these "unspeakable losses."

Filled with in-depth stories of those who have experienced losses and solid, practical advice with mourning rituals and services, Unspeakable Losses is a necessary companion to all those who have experienced pregnancy loss and those who care about them.

This soothing book is a must--not simply for women who have experienced pregnancy loss, but also for their partners and those who care about them. Kim Kluger-Bell, a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of losing a child before birth--whether to abortion, miscarriage, or other loss--strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding this unique pain. She gives new voice to these "unspeakable losses," in a culture that has rendered its discussion taboo.

Combining in-depth stories with solid, practical advice, Unspeakable Losses articulates the myriad emotional stages that arise from pregnancy loss and validates what can otherwise be a terribly lonely experience. This book is a vital companion for women and men in comprehending--and recovering from--their own experience with reproductive crisis.This soothing book is a must--not simply for women who have experienced pregnancy loss, but also for their partners and those who care about them. Kim Kluger-Bell, a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of losing a child before birth--whether to abortion, miscarriage, or other loss--strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding this unique pain. She gives new voice to these "unspeakable losses," in a culture that has rendered its discussion taboo.

Combining in-depth stories with solid, practical advice, Unspeakable Losses articulates the myriad emotional stages that arise from pregnancy loss and validates what can otherwise be a terribly lonely experience. This book is a vital companion for women and men in comprehending--and recovering from--their own experience with reproductive crisis.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

For those who have suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth--or those who have elected to terminate a pregnancy--the experience has all too often been minimized and misunderstood. According to author and psychotherapist Kim Kluger-Bell, pregnancy loss can be described with one word: unspeakable. In this remarkable and moving psychological study, Kluger-Bell examines the "shadow side" of being pregnant--the unspoken grief of losing a pregnancy before birth through miscarriage, abortion, or stillbirth.

Unspeakable Losses includes in-depth stories from would-be parents (including Kluger-Bell herself) discussing such diverse issues as multifetal reductions (more and more common as in vitro fertilization procedures become widespread), the male experience of pregnancy loss, and how a woman can be pro-choice yet still suffer grief over choosing abortion. She includes tools for moving through the grieving process, discussing losses, and helping loved ones who have experienced pregnancy loss. This caring, understanding book may help give voice to those who have previously found it too painful to speak. --Ericka Lutz --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Kim Kluger-Bell insists on being heard, and needs to be read, not just by those struggling with the particular losses or reaction they describe, but by all of us concerned about the direction of our culture and the life of our souls." -- Boston Sunday Globe

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 180 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks (April 26, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 068817390X
• ISBN-13: 978-0688173906
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #343,083 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #65 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Love & Loss

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing insight into a complex and emotional subject., May 3, 2000

By 

Janet Sackman "janetws" (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss (Paperback)

Reading this book has been a very thought-provoking experience for me, on many levels. I have read many books on miscarriage and other forms of pregnancy loss, but none has attempted the links that this book has.

The author looks at the way in which pregnancy loss is seen by Western societies and explores the resulting effects on women who lose babies in different circumstances. There is much balance and sensitivity in this book, which is a tremendous achievement for the author.

What I found particularly illuminating was the way in which case studies are used to look at how losing a baby can echo previous experiences, particularly in childhood. Whilst readers are unlikely to be carbon copies of the people described in the case studies, there are many subtle threads within them to make you just stop and think, and begin the fascinating process of making connections between your own experiences.

I wrote down some key quotes from it in my journal, so that I could reflect on them and see if applying them to my own experience of pregnancy loss and childhood would reveal any new interpretations for me. There are not many books which achieve that level of insight!

The reference section at the back includes Internet web sites, which reflects how up to date it is.

All in all, a terrific book which the author should be very proud of writing.

20 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best book on the topic, September 2, 2003

By 

Sarah Jensen (Santa Clara, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss (Paperback)

I read this book when it first came out several years ago and I still think it is the best book available on the topic of pregnancy loss because it is so intelligently written and profoundly moving. Its not just a book about loss, its a book about life! I have recently read a couple of negative reviews of this book--which seem to be based solely on the fact that the author includes abortion in several short sections of the book. I was shocked and dismayed to see that someone called the book "insensitive" for including abortion--clearly that reviewer is a very angry person! I hope that no one will be discouraged from reading this book because of that, because the compassion the author brings to both the topics of miscarriage, still birth and abortion is very healing for all.

9 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book!!, June 20, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Unspeakable Losses: Understanding the Experience of Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage (Hardcover)

Will keep this book forever. The excersizes force you to take a good, hard, honest look at the choice you made and help you to remember why the choice was right for you at that time. It felt as if it focused on the woman who experienced her abortion years earlier. I think perhaps my choice is too fresh to view so completely as the pain is deep and confusing for me still. BUT I will keep reading and rereading it until I have dealt with my issues for I believe this book can guide me to my road of peace.