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Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy [Paperback]

Rebecca Coffey (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 1998 1886968055 978-1886968059 1
With the electrifying tales of 15 survivors of catastrophic human cruelty at its narrative core, Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy journalistically explores the affects of survivors' stories on compassionate listeners. The result is the first real thinking person's guide to a topic of enormous emotional charge to the friends, family, and therapists of survivors of street crime, racial violence, family violence, sexual assault, incest, war, political terror, and Holocaustand to survivors themselves. Propelled by its riveting survivor testimony (juxtaposed with commentary by social critics and trauma therapists with sometimes uncanny precision), Unspeakable Truths asksindeed, at times forcesits readers to think through the prejudices, fears, and revulsions that most of us have about violence and its victims. By doing so, the book helps readers understand some of what it is that expert trauma therapists do well: Listen to the truths in survivors' tales while accepting as uncertainties the inconsistencies and improbabilities that many contain; provide a rigorously examined trustworthiness upon which the betrayed can rely; and find enough ways to keep their own worlds habitable to provide survivors with honest assurances that life and human interaction can be worthwhile.

Its almost unfailingly optimistic look at (well practiced) trauma therapy aside, Unspeakable Truths departs admirably from what has become formula for authors of books for the survivor and pro-survivor markets. It clear-headedly examines the recovered memory debate, acknowledging that even the most distinct memories can be false and that bumbling therapists can, indeed, help people remember incidences that never occurred. The book's stated goal in doing so: To guide survivors towards careful, ethical, and eminently sensible trauma therapy and to steer survivors clear of the significant ethical failures of some incautious trauma therapists.

To its great credit, the book's look at the frailties of survivors' memories and of inexpert trauma therapy is entirely removed from the he said/she said tone that books by Katie Roiphe, Wendy Kaminer, Lawrence Wright, Elizabeth Loftus, Nicholas Spanos, and Michael D. Yapko have taken. Unspeakable Truths's look is wonderfully informed by the author's (Rebecca Coffey, health journalist) reports of her own experience struggling to remain both humanly compassionate and journalistically prudent as she listened to viscerally vivid tales of trauma. Thus, what could have been a hackneyed discussion of already-covered terrain becomes a rather remarkable narrative as Coffey examines the implications, for herself and for survivors and their friends, family, and therapists, of the fact that trauma stories are inherently unbelievable. Listeners bring to the listening a desperate hope that what they are about to hear didn't really happen. The tellers often remain too awash in the emotional aftershocks of trauma to tell a convincing tale.

Coffey takes her examination of the implications to the limit, and because of that Unspeakable Truths shines a warm spotlight on the potential healing role of listeners, listening, therapists, and therapy. Unspeakable Truths convincingly argues that, as thinking and caring inhabitants of a menacing world, we must all learn to hear unspeakable truths. At the same time that we risk accepting the truths about violence and degradation that survivors' memories hold, we must reasonably engage critical thinking when memories of violence and degradation stretch the limits of our credulity. We owe it to survivors to listen compassionately; we owe it to ourselves to listen prudently. Unlike the pugnaciously phrased criticisms voiced by most books examining the recovered memory debate, Unspeakable Truths's theme of prudent and fully examined compassion is one that offers survivors, their friends, family, and therapists something to embrace.



Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Posttraumatic stress disorder was not admitted into psychiatry's diagnostic manual until the early 1980s. Though it seems intuitive that trauma can cause psychic harm, other aspects of the disorder are very controversial. Coffey, a health and mental health journalist, brings an open mind to her examination of the problem. She intersperses horrific personal testimony with professional literature and her own reactions to stories of Nazi genocide, gang rape, incest, and other traumas. Coffey largely succeeds in her aim to empower survivors and to validate their histories as well as to help covictimized family and friends learn how to listen and cope with trauma's legacies. The author's analysis of the "false memory" debate is sound, and she writes convincingly about how Freud's early belief that actual childhood trauma caused mental illness was transformed into the Oedipal theory. Unfortunately, lengthy and graphic torture tales weaken the book's appeal to a nonprofessional audience. For comprehensive psychology collections; others can rely on Judith Lewis Herman's Trauma and Recovery (BasicBks., 1992), a more authoritative synthesis and self-help books covering specific types of trauma.?Antoinette Brinkman, Southwest Indiana Mental Health Ctr. Lib., Evansville
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

At times the unspeakable truths of Coffey's inquiry into survival by victims of the violence of crime, domestic abuse, and war threaten to eclipse this health writer's conditionally optimistic prognosis of-if not happy endings-then at least the possibility of healing. Some readers, undoubtedly, will be repulsed by the nature of these revelations about homicidal encounters, sexual assault by family members and strangers, and the horrors of the Vietnam War and the Holocaust.However, that reaction illustrates precisely what the author considers the unfortunate revictimization of trauma survivors by even those closest to them and therapists, due to natural defenses against accepting our vulnerability to such brutal realities. Even a Holocaust survivor whom the author interviewed in a writing class expressly for such individuals admits that had he heard his own stories related by someone else, he might not have believed them. Coffey contends that her motivation in writing this well-researched book was to promote personal and professional compassion, to counter the current trend of distrusting survivors' tales-due to the controversy over "recovered memories" sometimes unwittingly instilled by therapists. The Sidran Foundation's psychotrauma resource and information service are helpfully listed for survivors and their families and mental health supporters. -- From Independent Publisher

For far too long, the needs of people with traumatic stress conditions have not been adequately addressed by the Nation's public mental health system. The timing of this book is fortuitous, given the current environment of rapid change offering us unprecedented opportunities to improve on the ways we serve vulnerable individuals. Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings is a timely publication that provides us with a chance to participate in a new dialogue. We trust that this book will lead to meaningful differences in the lives of traumatized individuals by significantly contributing to improvements in the quality of public mental health care that they receive. -- Answer: Robert W. Glover, Ph.D., Executive Director, National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors

In a word, this book is powerful! ...Even those who read a great deal on the subject of trauma will be shaken by this book. And because of its raw honesty and integrity, Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings will be one of the important books written on trauma in this decade, belonging in the same category with Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery. -- L. S. Beall, Auburn University, Choice, July/August 1998, vol. 35, no. 11/12

This excellent and well-balanced book shows how sensitive listening to traumatic stories can make them more bearable for the tale teller. The author's lucid writing and her intelligent sensitivity make Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings a most valuable tool for survivors, friends, family, and even therapistsfor anyone who must come to grips with their reactions to traumatic events. Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings is an indispensable resource. -- Danny Brom, Director of Research of Amcha, The National Israeli Center for Psychosocial Support of Survivors of the Holocaust

This is a disturbing book, waking the reader out of tired assumptions. Neither a mental health professional nor a survivor, Coffey brings a fresh perspective to a topic too often ruled by predictable polemics. The accounts are harrowing, and Coffey has the courage to leave the reader without easy answers. This book is a valuable resource for those struggling to understand human cruelty and its consequences. -- Kenneth S. Pope, Ph.D., former chair, Ethics Committees of the American Psychological Association and the American Board of Professional Psychology

This is not a book written from the perspective of the victim or the perpetrator, or even from the viewpoint of the therapist. Instead, the reader enters the narrative of a professional writer and we follow her on a journal of discovery as the unpalatable reality of trauma hits home. Through her vivid descriptions and interviews we get a sense of the price she has paid for listening. As she warns us, "trauma stories are inherently unbelievable" and yet the unfolding of her willingness to listen, to learn, to grapple with complexity, ambiguity, and horror provides us with a model of responsible and responsive engagement as the silent bystander is transformed into an articulate, compassionate, and committed witness. -- Sandra Bloom, M.D., author of Creating Sanctuary: Toward the Evolution of Sane Societies; Executive Director, The Sanctuary, Friends Hospital, Philadelphia, PA

Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings is a passionate, thorough, and for everyone discussion of very divisive issues. It comes in the nick of time. There have been legitimate concerns about the role of mental health professionals who, in an effort to help traumatized clients, sometimes destroy families. Yet the value of reviewing past traumatic events in order to make peace with the past is obvious. Coffey's book is remarkable for its balanced view of the roles and limitations of telling, listening, psychotherapy, and psychotherapists in the healing process. This book heralds a new and more enlightened era of help for those who must speak unspeakable truths and be more assured of happy endings. -- Charles Figley, Ph.D., author, Trauma and its Wake; Professor of Family Therapy and Social Work, Florida State University

Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings will undoubtedly prove helpful to many people. I applaud Ms. Coffey's wonderful ability to listen. -- Jeffrey Moussaeiff Masson, Former Research Director of the Freud Archives, author The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction Theory

Product Details

  • Paperback: 226 pages
  • Publisher: Sidran Press; 1 edition (January 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1886968055
  • ISBN-13: 978-1886968059
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 5.7 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #957,773 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A spirited, comprehensive, articulate presentation., June 5, 2000
This review is from: Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy (Paperback)
In Unspeakable Truths And Happy Endings: Human Cruelty And The New Trauma Therapy, author Rebecca Coffey offers a spirited, comprehensive discussion of the role of mental health professionals who, in an effort to help men and women traumatized by horrific circumstances and events, sometimes destroy their clients families. Yet the value of reviewing past traumatic events such as incest, physical abuse, emotional neglect, adultery, alcoholism, substance addiction, abandonment, etc., in order to make peace with the past is clearly beneficial and a proper aspect of psychological treatment. Unspeakable Truths And Happy Endings takes a nicely balanced view of the roles and limitations of telling, listening, psychotherapy, and psychotherapists in the healing process. Coffey offers a new and more enlightened understanding for psychologists, counselors, and clients that will help to insure a successful outcome to dealing with the unspeakable and be ultimately assured of improved mental health and psychological well-being.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Timely and very, very important., July 20, 1998
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This review is from: Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy (Paperback)
Carefully researched and beautifully written, UnspeakableTruths and Happy Endings is perhaps the most understandable andconvincing coverage of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to appear to date. Author Rebecca Coffey transcribes vividly and in depth, and with compassion and balance, several troubling, heartrending tales of human cruelty, analyzing their consequences, placing them in context in view of the heated debate that surrounds PTSD. She has done us all a great service with her thoughtful and restrained analysis of the diverse attitudes surrounding this complex issue. With the crush of increasing population upon us, violence induced unresolved stress is rapidly becoming a "need to know" subject for all of us. It won't go away in our lifetime. I heartily recommend this book as more than an introduction. It should be required reading for survival in today's world.
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5.0 out of 5 stars The book on Trauma for journalists and litarary criticists, March 14, 2011
This review is from: Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy (Paperback)
The book, awarded Outstanding Academic Book award by American Library Association's Choice magazine in 1999 (See more reviews of the book at the author's website [...]), is written by a woman's voice, journalist Rebecca Coffey Rebecca Coffey. She uses a narrative approach to show why is it that trauma so often seems "unspeakable", "indescribable" to its survivors (victims). She also provides an answer that it is a response by others who were supposed to listen to the truth, which makes it "unspeakable" (even though shutting down of Broca area in the brain, which happens when survivors are reminded of trauma, doesn't help them to speak up either). In another words: "(...) this is more than the cliched 'giving victims a voice'. Coffey examines why we (the public in general, and therapists in particular) are reluctant to hear heart-wrenching stories, whether the voices are those of a Holocaust survivor, or of a mother whose two sons were murdered in separate incidents, or of a woman who was gang-raped by 27 men after being forced to watch a dog burned alive, or of a woman brutally and repeatedly raped by her father, and especially we do not want to hear the agony of Vietnam war veterans."

The subject presented by another classic written by Judith Herman, who did it in a more academic fashion Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, is approached from another angle by Rebecca Coffey as the following book reviews written by experts testify: "(...) this book is powerful! (...) Even those who read a great deal on the subject of trauma will be shaken by this book. And because of its raw honesty and integrity (...) belonging in the same category with Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery (...)

Rebecca Coffey makes her reader not only learn, but emotionally learn, i.e. re-experience the inner force which pushes everybody towards the denial and even towards our siding with perpetrators, not victims, despite all the intellectual knowledge of evidence, or better put because the unspeakable strength of the evidence.

It is a book that is not written from the victim's point of view, nor from the therapist's, but from the journalist's point of view. It is a book that has a potential of transforming a reader, silent bystander, into an articulate, compassionate, and committed witness.
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