The Unspoken Rules of Love: What Women Don't Know and Men Don't Tell You (Busara Books) [Paperback]

Joel Brooks (Author), Michelle McKinney Hammond (Author)

Book Description

Series: Busara Books | Publication Date: February 18, 2003

Why does the modern-day search for romance so often end in disappointment– especially for women? Is it something women do? Something they don’t do? Are women missing important information about the opposite sex–or about themselves? Is there something wrong with them that they long so desperately for “’til death do us part”?

Sadly, many women today see their ongoing singleness as a weakness or lack of worth. In truth, women’s dreams go unfulfilled not because they do not deserve for them to come true, but often because of wrong assumptions–assumptions that can be corrected by learning a few key truths. In The Unspoken Rules of Love, authors Michelle McKinney Hammond and Joel Brooks seek to clear up these misperceptions, giving women the information they need to succeed in long-term, lasting male-female relationships and teaching them how to find satisfaction, value, and fulfillment in their relationship with God, both while they wait and after the wait is over.

Drawing on both the perspectives of its male and female authors, this book deals with the hard issues and the questions women ponder as they consider the dilemma of how to obtain lasting love. The Unspoken Rules of Love will help women adjust their desires, redefine what they are attracted to, set their values in order, and determine their goals–freeing them at last to pursue the loving relationships they desire.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Hammond and Brooks, both seasoned authors and speakers for Christian singles, use a traditional, faith-based approach to help discouraged women find the man of their dreams. Before a woman aims for marriage, they maintain, she needs to be a "whole" person; this wholeness comes from a strong relationship with God. Biblical quotes and shopping metaphors abound as they advise women on difficult relationship issues, such as avoiding mistreatment and manipulation, letting themselves be pursued rather than taking the lead and even getting in shape, if need be, to ensure they present themselves as healthy and attractive. Hammond and Brooks also touch on the tendency of some women to nag and complain; they urge them to focus on being encouragers, and to embrace their feminine role, which, they claim, has more power than women realize, and is strong enough to "turn a man's heart toward God." Bottom line? Finding true and lasting love takes time. If a woman wants to get married, she must be patient and wait on God, for "patience allows love... to become the preeminent force in the relationship," and God wants to protect her heart and make sure that love doesn't cost her self-esteem or her faith. Though this is the first book in Waterbrook's new line of nonfiction aimed at the Christian African-American market, Hammond's and Brooks's warm advice could appeal to a broader audience.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Inside Flap

Why does the modern-day search for romance so often end in disappointment? especially for women? Is it something women do? Something they don?t do? Are women missing important information about the opposite sex?or about themselves? Is there something wrong with them that they long so desperately for ??til death do us part??

Sadly, many women today see their ongoing singleness as a weakness or lack of worth. In truth, women?s dreams go unfulfilled not because they do not deserve for them to come true, but often because of wrong assumptions?assumptions that can be corrected by learning a few key truths. In The Unspoken Rules of Love, authors Michelle McKinney Hammond and Joel Brooks seek to clear up these misperceptions, giving women the information they need to succeed in long-term, lasting male-female relationships and teaching them how to find satisfaction, value, and fulfillment in their relationship with God, both while they wait and after the wait is over.

Drawing on both the perspectives of its male and female authors, this book deals with the hard issues and the questions women ponder as they consider the dilemma of how to obtain lasting love. The Unspoken Rules of Love will help women adjust their desires, redefine what they are attracted to, set their values in order, and determine their goals?freeing them at last to pursue the loving relationships they desire.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press; 1st edition (February 18, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1578566711
• ISBN-13: 978-1578566716
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,703,102 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Encouraging Eye-Opening Book, January 30, 2004

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Unspoken Rules of Love: What Women Don't Know and Men Don't Tell You (Busara Books) (Paperback)

I got this book after someone loaned me "If Men are Like Buses, How Can I Catch One?" Both books are very affirming and encouraging, I happened to read them at a time when I was losing hope and I can say that a few weeks later I am still inspired by these books. What I love about this particular book is hearing the guy's point of view on things, especially if you're stuck wondering if a guy is interested in you. Like a lot of women, I can get worked up wondering and where a relationship is heading. This book is like another pair of eyes and ears!
After reading both books I have a solid understanding of what dating and marriage is about and it will help me in discerning what to look for in a mate. I also love Michelle's writing style, I could just hear her in some of the chapters saying You Go Girl!!
As a side note, I got How To Be an Irresistable Women and found the same material as in her other books, the material is repetitive. But I totally recommend Unspoken Rules and If Men Are Like Buses, the two should cover you!!

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Conviction is an amazing thing!, January 26, 2004

By 

Cheryl M. (Kalamazoo, MI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Unspoken Rules of Love: What Women Don't Know and Men Don't Tell You (Busara Books) (Paperback)

I was so thankful to have found this book. I often visit Pastor Joel Brooks' church, and have heard him speak many times, I can say that he has poured out his wisdom into this book, for all to partake of. I couldn't help but find myself within the pages, and what I found I didn't like, but instead of feeling badly about it, I was convicted to make the necessary changes to be the WHOLE woman that God has planned for me to be. It's one thing to know that you need to change your ways, it's another to know what to do! Thank you for your guidance, it gives us who do not want to be alone forever, a place to start! I was especially convicted when I read the part about being "hard" vs. strong. I have always seen myself as a "strong Black woman", when in truth, I have become a "hard Black woman" WOW now that's an eye opener!
I highly reccommend this book for ANY woman who is contemplating marriage, or is looking for love, it will change the way you see yourself, and bring you in line with where God has purposed you to be. Thanks Pastor Brooks and Michelle McKinney Hammond for your insight.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Necessary Lesson for the Millenium Woman, May 26, 2007

By 

D. E. Brown "voracious reader" (Charlotte, NC) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Unspoken Rules of Love What Women Don't Know and Men Don't Tell You (Hammond, Michelle Mckinney) (Paperback)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. I was impressed with the savvy, wisdom and wit of both writers. What an awesome combination of intellect, experience and just plain old truth. The short anecdotes offered quality reflection time and the honest assessment of the way women pursue men like food when one is hungry was ON POINT! I couldn't be happier with the sage advice, strong yet purposeful rebuke and sincere testimonies of both Joel and Michelle. I am quite a big fan of Michelle and I know that because of her writing I am a better suited female, willing to wait and work for Jesus both now and after my husband "finds me."