78 of 83 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Encyclopedia of Unstoppable Confidence., January 7, 2002
This review is from: Unstoppable Confidence (Paperback)
A more apt title for this book would be to call it "The Encyclopedia of Unstoppable Confidence".
I have not yet come across any other book, which focuses 100% on building greater confidence. This book gives you step by step detailed instructions to really "go for it".
Kent clearly explains the crucial difference between "confidence" and "competence" in the first few pages. I made the mistake of assuming that if I was competent in a specific area, than I automatically had confidence in that area.
Once you understand the distinction he gives a simple but highly effective formula
Competence + confidence = success
Have you ever had the feeling of a light bulb switching on in your head? Well I had that same feeling when I really understood the difference between "confidence" and "competence" and resolved to take the book more seriously.
On page 27 he gives a fantastic example about how to disassociate your emotions from yourself personally. In other words DONT take possession of something, which is just a mental process. Some examples of mental processes from the book are fear, shyness and depression. All of these are not actual things but just mental processes or sequences of thoughts that run in your mind.
A brilliant example and I quote from the book (page 26) "The language you use to describe what you are feeling impacts that feeling tremendously, and it is your knowledge, your awareness of these processes that gives you power over them. Just like when somebody said, "I' am depressed". What they've done is built that notion into their very being. Nobody can be depressed all the time. If they were, they wouldn't' call it depression. It'd just be their normal state of being. Instead, people who consider themselves depressed should be saying, "I run a process through my mind that causes me to experience certain pictures, sounds, and feelings inside that I have collectively labeled as depression."
Yes I know this sounds like some new age stuff, and until you TRY IT OUT yourself you will not realize the power of disassociating yourself from your processes. There are many more such examples, which switched on the light bulb in my head.
The book also talks about creating the kind of body language, which gives you unstoppable confidence. I wish there were some pictures of "steepling fingers" as I could think of a variety of ways to steeple fingers based on the authors explanation in the book and am not sure which is the correct way.
Another excellent technique is to parrot to create verbal rapport. The book lists key words/phrases to help people keep on talking non-stop and increase rapport. Be careful using them however because using them correctly will ensure that you will be listening to them for hours...ahh the price of success!!!
Another superb technique is to ask open-ended question, instead of yes/no type of questions to gain rapport.
My biggest gripe with the book is that while the author specifically mentions about creating a personal confidence calendar to schedule and practice various exercises in the book he does not give any suggested plans. This book contains so many different techniques for building confidence that unless you take good notes or read the book multiple times it is easy to miss some important techniques. I would have appreciated a sample step by step plan(menu) to incorporate in daily life, just like some of the dieting and exercise books suggest.
Obviously such a plan will be generalized but at least it will be a good starting point to the other alternative of digging through the book multiple times and/or make copious notes. The serious student will no doubt do what ever it takes and assimilate most of the techniques from the book. This is not a read and throw type of book. This is a book you will come back to again and again as you build layer upon layer of confidence techniques into your personality.
The cover design of a man stomping confidently makes me smile every time I look at it, which is good since this makes me pick up the book again!
The words on the page are densely packed in the book and it seemed liked it took forever to read a page. I sincerely feel every self-development book should reinforce concepts learned in each chapter by having a brief summary and/or short quiz and real life exercises at the end of each chapter. I wish this book had some of these to help reinforce the concepts at each stage.
If the book were to contain only one chapter "Twenty explosive techniques for unstoppable confidence" it would be worth it. One technique I already started using is called "rapid confidence at will". I used the PUMA GRRRROWL and felt simply awesome. I used some of the techniques, which appealed to me immediately, as I read the book. There are just sooooooo many techniques that I will keep going back to the book again and again.
I would have appreciated more examples of how the author used these techniques to overcome shyness in a variety of real life circumstances.
One section I particularly fell in love with is the chapter titled "Speaking the language of confidence". Kent contrasts the vocabulary of the shy person (who uses words like try, hope, attempt, wish etc) versus the vocabulary of the confident person (absolutely, guaranteed, sure, certainly etc). As I gained more awareness I am minimizing use of the shy persons vocabulary.
This book uses a lot of NLP based techniques, but thankfully the complex jargon is substituted for simple precise explanations. The appendix contains a comprehensive list of visual, auditory and kinesthetic qualities.
All in all an excellent book, and a MUST have in your personal success library if you are a serious student of success.
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34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
~~~~~~~~Finally....a Book That Truly Works~~~~~~~~, December 31, 2001
This review is from: Unstoppable Confidence (Paperback)
First of all I would like to say this is the first "self improvement" book I have read where it truly felt like the author had actually been there, he actually knew what it was like to have very little confidence. As I read it, it felt like Kent had known me my whole life and wrote the book specifically for me, because his experiences were so similar to mine. I know that sounds strange, but that just shows that he has been there, done that. It is also the first book that gives you all the tools needed to have incredible unstoppable confidence, I know mine has already doubled and I am not even done with the 21 day program. I used 3 of the tools the night before I had to give a 3 hour presentation to about 40 people last week, and I HATE public speaking, I was actually terrified of it, but now I don't mind it at all, the exercises allowed me to feel totally relaxed and confident as I spoke and gave my presentation. I did awesome the next day. This book not only gives you about 20 tools to use, but more importantly it explains what is going on in your brain that makes you feel less confident and once you understand that thought process, you can easily change it with his techniques, so now when I think of public speaking, it's like no big deal. I already notice myself walking taller, moving with confidence and approaching situations confidently that would normally seem freighting to me. Thanks Kent, I can't wait to see what the next couple weeks will bring
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34 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Expand Your Comfort Zone, January 5, 2002
This review is from: Unstoppable Confidence (Paperback)
Of all the books I have read on self-help topics, this one seemed to contain ideas that not only made complete sense, the author could have only penned this book once he had gained a calm, quiet and powerful presence. You can literally hear his voice and see the change in his life in his writing.
He goes from a person who literally felt he did not have the ability to really connect with other people at a deep level (he escapes by burying himself in books) to teaching classes on how to be confident. In the process he learns about his inner desires, how to gain what he really wants out of life and how to give what he has learned to the world in this amazing book.
So much of what he said made complete sense. Especially the part where he notes how people who are living the lives of their dreams, are doing so by design. They have learned to release themselves from disempowered language (try, should, etc.) and have embraced fast forward phrases (I absolutely can, I certainly will, It definitely will happen.) The reason it works is because confidence causes your dreams to come true. You set in motion a magical series of events that naturally will lead you to your goal.
Today when my husband used the word: "try" in a sentence, alarms went off. Not only did I completely see how this book could change a life, it was already being put in action in my own mind as I asked him to say "will." In that way, he "would" reach his goal and be more determined. Had I not read this book, I can't say I would have even blinked!
"You realize that anything in your path that seems like an obstacle or a detour really is an opportunity in disguise to show your resourcefulness." -pg. 6
The author has based some of the material on Neuro-Liguistic Programming (NLP). This is the study of how language, both verbal and nonverbal, affects our minds. First, he describes his own struggle with shyness and then dives right into how others can learn from his experience and learn to speak the language of confidence.
Each chapter begins with an inspirational quote and bold headings direct you through the information in a lovely organized fashion. A "free offer" is included and you can not only subscribe to the free confidence 7-day e-course, you are also entitled to describe your biggest Confidence Challenge and receive a personal response from the author. I have never seen an offer like this and it truly shows the author cares about his readers. I was very impressed! This book could not have been published at a more appropriate time.
Invest in Yourself!
"Be courageous. I have seen many depressions in business. Always America has emerged from these stronger and more prosperous. Be brave as your fathers before you. Have faith! Go forward! -Thomas A. Edison
~The Rebecca Review
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