Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility [Paperback]

Janet Jaffe (Author), David Diamond (Author), Martha Diamond (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 12, 2005

For people experiencing infertility, wanting a baby is a craving unlike any other. The intensity of their longing is matched only by the complexity of the emotional maze they must navigate.

With insight and compassion, Drs. Janet Jaffe, Martha Diamond, and David Diamond-specialists in the field of Reproductive Psychology who have each experienced their own struggle with infertility-give couples the tools to:

*Reduce their sense of helplessness and isolation
*Identify their mates' coping styles to erase unfair expectations
*Listen to their "unsung lullabies"--their conscious and unconscious dreams about having a family--to mourn the losses of infertility and move on.

Ground-breaking, wise, and compassionate, Unsung Lullabies is a necessary companion for anyone coping with infertility.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This empathetic self-help book argues that when couples find out that they can't have a baby, they're inflicted with an "unacknowledged trauma that leaves them feeling not only frustrated and angry, but sad, frightened, confused, guilty, overwhelmed and out of control." Having found little support for their own struggles with infertility trauma, Jaffe and the Diamonds (all clinical psychologists) co-founded The Center for Reproductive Psychology in San Diego, Calif. Here they sympathetically cover the core psychological issues of the matter, including the initial shock and denial, the persistent feelings of not being "healthy" or "normal," the relationship problems, the loss of sexual privacy, the grief and the belief that you're not really an adult until you have a child. Using their own and their patients' experiences, the authors offer many approaches to these problems: journaling, talking about infertility with your partner, practicing rituals to validate the losses, incorporating structure into your daily life and seeking out support groups and therapy. But the most important step, they say, is to recognize infertility for the trauma that it is. "Your losses are real," they explain. "Infertility does not merely represent a recent failed pregnancy, but a whole lifetime of dreams, hopes and plans that have gone horribly awry." One in ten adults of reproductive age is affected by infertility. For them, and for the friends and professionals who want to help them, this book provides compassionate insight into infertility's often unacknowledged ramifications.
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Review

"Must reading for the thousands of people struggling with the pain of infertility."-Christiane Northrup, M.D.
"I would HIGHLY recommend this book as required reading for anyone with infertility, all who work with infertility, as well as the families of persons with infertility."
--Marjut Herzog, President of RESOLVE, South Florida
"A new, creative approach that avoids psychological and medical jargon and makes the issues accessible to any reader."
--Miriam Tasini, Professor of Psychiatry, UCLA Medical School

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 12, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312313896
• ISBN-13: 978-0312313890
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #409,199 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility, August 31, 2006

By 

K. Baker (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility (Paperback)

I can't say enough good things about this book. For several years,I have had problems mourning and moving past my infertility. This book helped me finally move on from the hurt and disappointment because it helped me realize that lots of other people feel the same pain and anger when they struggle with infertility. It made me realize that I am NORMAL and infertility is a devastating thing that should not be taken lightly. I feel so much better having read this book.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must have. . ., September 1, 2005

By 

NW Parents "KJ" (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility (Paperback)

Out of all the fertility "help" books, this was our favorite. Not only was it informative but it helped us to feel 'normal' amidst a trying process. In fact we loved this book so much that we bought one for each of our parents. It's another tool to help educate them about the trauma we've experienced for over three years.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, January 11, 2007

By 

C. L. Payne "Smile" (Las Vegas, NV) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility (Paperback)

Bought for my daughter who is experiencing the awful pain of infertility and failed IVF. She read it twice and I am reading it now to catch up. The authors have been through the same, which was important to my daughter. They speak with love, compassion, professionalism and authority on the subject.