The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green [Hardcover]

Joshua Braff (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1565124200 | ISBN-13: 978-1565124202 | Publication Date: October 9, 2004

It's 1977. Jacob Green, a Jewish kid from suburban New Jersey, sits on the stairs during his family's housewarming party, waiting for his father, Abram--charming host, everyone's best friend, and amateur emcee--to introduce him to the crowd. Housewarming parties, Annie Hall parties, and bar mitzvah parties punctuate Jacob's childhood and require command performances by all the Green family members. But when the confetti settles and the drapes are drawn, the affable Abram Green becomes an egotistical tyrant whose emotional rages rupture the lives of his family.

Jacob doesn't mean to disappoint his father, but he can't help thinking the most unthinkable (and very funny) thoughts about public-school humiliation, Hebrew-school disinclination, and in-home sex education (with the live-in nanny!). If only his mother hadn't started college at thirty-six (and fallen for her psychology professor). If only he were more like his rebellious older brother (suspended from Hebrew school for drawing the rabbi in a threesome with a lobster and a pig). If only Jacob could confront his overbearing father and tell him he doesn't want to sing in synagogue, attend est classes, write the perfect thank-you note, or even live in the same house with Abram Green. But, of course, he can't. That would be unthinkable.

This self-assured, comic, yet piercing first novel deftly captures the struggle of an imperfect boy trying to become a suitable son.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A witty, sensitive boy observes the darkly humorous goings-on in his Orthodox Jewish family in 1970s New Jersey. Jacob Green idolizes his older brother, Asher, and misses his withdrawn mother, Claire, but his father, the charismatic, tyrannical Abram, dominates the family. At 10, Jacob's unthinkable sin of forgetting to wear his tzitzit to yeshiva sets off an amusing chain of events—Asher's scheming to trick the rabbi, the destruction of the rabbi's tzitzit and Jacob's suspension—that quickly turns sober when Jacob faces his father's rage. At 13, Jacob lives in a state of anxiety—his learning disability and his father's resulting disappointment erode his confidence; Asher withdraws into adolescence; his mother flees the house to pursue a Ph.D. and another man. Jacob would love to rebel (he's got "a father so far up my ass you can see him performing in my pupils"), but mostly he mentally rewrites his bar mitzvah thank-yous as rants and fantasizes about his live-in babysitter, Megan. When Claire and Abram divorce and Megan moves out, Jacob conveys his angst through a series of letters addressed to Megan. By the time he's 15, Jacob is painfully lonely, as he shuttles between his father's oppressiveness and his mother's honeymooning obliviousness. Although Jacob is a likable, funny narrator, his keen observation and vibrant imagination falter under the weight of Abram's presence and Claire's absence.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

*Starred Review* Like a child, Jacob Green's father, Abram, wants what he wants when he wants it and will throw a temper tantrum if he doesn't get it. What Abram wants most of all is the perfect suburban Jewish family--perfectly intelligent, perfectly religious, and perfect at obeying thy father. Braff's rich, moving, and very funny first novel begins with a 1977 housewarming party at which Abram dramatically introduces each member of his family while the four children and their mother seethe with resentment at being paraded as testaments to Abram's greatness. Jacob's present-tense, first-person narration keeps the pace quick, and the exquisite plotting ensures that Jacob's growing emotional turmoil is paralleled by metaphorically resonant real-life events. To survive and mentally escape his father's cruel, perverse love, young Jacob shares hilariously unthinkable thoughts--the funniest are the hypothetical bar mitzvah thank-you notes in which Jacob thanks people for Jerusalem stone bookends and the like and then details his lust for his live-in nanny before signing "Love, Jacob." Readers will adore Jacob, but Braff's greater accomplishment is describing the boy's complex relationship with his father so well that we are forced to see the cruel, self-obsessed Abram as something more than a mere monster of ego. John Green
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Algonquin Books (October 9, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1565124200
• ISBN-13: 978-1565124202
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6.6 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,353,365 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Unthinkable and un-put-downable, September 25, 2004

By 

E. A Solinas "ea_solinas" (MD USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green (Hardcover)

What other book has bar mitzvah thank-you notes as a major plot element? Well, they do in "The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green," a quirky coming-of-age story in 1970s New Jersey. Like his equally talented brother Zach (director/star/writer of "Garden State"), Joshua Braff shines in his heart-tugging, funny first novel.

Jacob Green dreams of an ideal Jewish family, but unfortunately he's got a wildly dysfunctional one instead. His father Abram is an ideal host and father to the world -- but in his home he's an emotionally abusive perfectionist. Since Jacob has a learning disability, he gets the brunt of his father's wrath. Abram calls him an "idiot" and "retard," even though Jacob is clearly a bright young boy.

His father's irrational rages cause Jacob to withdraw into his own imagination, especially since his worn-out mother Claire has fallen in love with her professor. His "unthinkable thoughts" center on his school, his religion, and his lust for the nanny. And it's only through his fantasies on "the unthinkable" that he can deal with his disintegrating family life.

Family relationships are complex enough when the family is what passes for normal. If they're strange -- forget it. Remember what Tolstoy said: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." It's a credit to Braff that he can make what seems like a very depressing novel so incredibly funny. And were it not for the endearing Jacob and his quirky fantasies, it probably would be very depressing.

Braff has an irreverent, quick kind of prose, with a mixture of darker problems and full-blown comedy (such as Jacob's brother drawing a picture of a rabbi in a threesome with a pig and lobster). The balance between darkness and humor is just perfect. And he makes no apologies for his politically incorrect jokes -- which makes them even more hilarious.

Jacob himself is a lovable character, eager to please and with a sort of naughty innocence. His fantasies are reflections what he wants to do, and that makes them even more poignant. Abram is both amusing and disturbing, given his tendency to blow up about trivialities. Supporting characters like brother Asher and Claire are pretty interesting as well, but the book belongs to Jacob.

"The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green" is hysterical and heartbreaking, a look at a crumbling family and the unique young boy in the middle of it. A must-read, and one of the best books of 2004.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another talented Braff!, September 6, 2004

By 

Edgar Cleveland "Rob" (Belton, MO USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green (Hardcover)

I was inspired to pick this book up after learning of it's existance from a short article in "people" magazine about brothers Zach and Joshua Braff and their Movie and Novel debuts.
I had already seen and fallen in love with Garden State so I figured a book, by another member of the Braff family would be a safe bet for a good read. I was lucky enough to find that B. Dalton at my local mall had recieved a few copies earlier than scheduled and so I picked it up two days ago and I just finished reading it this morning and I have come to the conclusion that the Braff family is one of admirable story telling ability. The book is hilarious where intended and yet still able to maintain a tone of seriousness when neccessary. Braff's descriptions of friends and family members are perfect, causing me to ponder on the similarities between the charecters in the book and people I know in my life. All in all, I'd say it's a definite must read for anyone. Go buy this book NOW!

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Unforgettable Book of Joshua Braff, September 29, 2004

By 

L. Hey (San Francisco Bay Area) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green (Hardcover)

After seeing the movie Garden State and becoming completely addicted, I have been checking Zach Braff's blog that he is keeping. In it, he suggested (of course) The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green, written by his brother, Joshua. Once again, a Braff brother has amazed me! The characters in Braff's book make the plot line even more interesting. Although I am not male, or Jewish, or from New Jersey, I felt that every character had an aspect of his or her personality that I could directly relate to.