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Until the Real Thing Comes Along [Paperback]

Elizabeth Berg (Author)
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (92 customer reviews)


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Book Description

August 28, 2003
Patty Murphy is facing that pivotal point in a woman's life when her biological clock ticks as insistently as a beating heart. Will she find Mr Right and start a family? But Patty is in love - with a man who is not only attractive and financially sound, but sensitive and warmhearted. There's just one small problem: He is also gay. Against her better judgment, and pleas from family and friends, Patty refuses to give up on Ethan. Every man she dates ultimately leaves her aching for the gentle comfort and intimacy she shares with him. But even as she throws eligible bachelors to the wayside to spend yet another platonic night with Ethan, Patty longs more and more for the consolation of loving and being loved. In the meantime she must content herself with waiting - until the real thing comes along...

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

For the protagonist of Elizabeth Berg's Until the Real Thing Comes Along, the biological clock is ticking all too loudly. Alas, there are no likely partners on the horizon for Patty Ann Murphy. Even an attractive, appropriately sensitive guy ends up giving her the heebie-jeebies: "Now he is turning my face toward him and kissing me and I feel that as soon as he stops I'll start screaming. I don't, of course. I say, 'Would you like some pretzels?'" The only man who doesn't inspire this kind of junk-food diversionary tactic is Patty's high-school sweetheart Ethan Gaines--but he happens to be gay. What's a woman of the '90s to do?

The answer: she persuades Ethan to impregnate her, and they agree to a marriage of true minds (if not bodies.) They won't, of course, actually marry, or even live together. But Patty signs on for a lifetime of child rearing with her sexually indifferent soul mate--and finds herself wading into a wealth of emotional complications. Will Ethan ever make love to her again? Will her parents accept her (essentially) single-mommy status? Berg manages to cast these thorny issues in a comedic light, without ever consigning Patty and her wisecracking cohorts to a complete farce. And there is that payoff at the end, when Ethan hands her the love child in the delivery room:

With a tenderness I would not have thought possible in earth-bound humans, he gives her to me. Her wet head is cupped; her quivering chest is calmed. What have my hands been doing all my life before this? I see now that they too have just been born. I unwrap the blanket, stop breathing.
Yes, Patty does eventually start breathing again. And readers will share her delight at the undeniable fact that the real thing has finally come along. --Anita Urquhart --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Leave it to Berg (What We Keep) to put a quirky, melancholic spin on the familiar story of an ordinary woman's quest for marriage and children. Sparkling and witty, this novel stars self-conscious dreamer Patty Murphy, a single, 36-year-old Massachusetts realtor who seesaws from hope to despair between blind dates and manicure appointments. She worries about the ticking of her biological clockAand how to "keep her eggs healthy"Aand although "it's been a long time since I've been kissed by anyone but family members," she tries to stay optimistic. The biggest barrier between Patty and her version of happily-ever-after is that Ethan, the man she's in love with, is not only her ex-fianc?e and lifelong best friend, but also gay. Ethan wants children, too, and eventually Patty talks him into having a baby with her. But will Patty, who's still desperate for Ethan's true love, be satisfied with what amounts to a compromise solution? Berg is facile in transforming familiar elements into apt metaphors, and her smooth transitions between tragedies and joys are punctuated with lively humor. Real life intrudes as background to Patty's dreams: Ethan struggles with his sexual orientation in the time of AIDS, and Patty copes with her mother's worsening Alzheimer's. In the face of these traumas, Patty's fixation on an idyllic apple-pie vision of domestic serenity can seem somewhat anachronistic, even frustrating, for the reader. Her longing for a different life wreaks emotional havoc for all who love her, especially as she manipulates the affectionate, lonely father-to-be. But even readers who don't empathize with Patty's neurotic but ultimately endearing search for domestic fulfillment will be affected by Berg's poignant and clever tale and her zestful combination of commercial and literary appeal. Agent, Lisa Bankoff for ICM. Major ad/promo; author tour; reading group guide. (July) FYI: Berg won the NEBA award for fiction in 1997.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Random House Pod (August 28, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 009945176X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0099451761
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.8 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (92 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,377,682 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Elizabeth Berg won the NEBA Award for fiction for her body of work, and was a finalist for the ABBY for Talk Before Steep. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, including Ladies' Home Journal, Redbook, and the New York Times Magazine. She has also taught a writing workshop at Radcliffe College. She lives near Boston, Massachusetts.

 

Customer Reviews

92 Reviews
5 star:
 (27)
4 star:
 (16)
3 star:
 (20)
2 star:
 (11)
1 star:
 (18)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.2 out of 5 stars (92 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars wonderful, as usual, January 16, 2000
By 
Pete (Macungie, PA USA) - See all my reviews
Don't be put off by the negative reviews.I'm a big Elizabeth Berg fan and found this book to be just as wonderful as the rest. Her books touch me - I cry with a smile on my face. As usual, can't wait for the next book to come out.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Far From Disappointing, January 12, 2000
By 
M. Brown (Helena, MT United States) - See all my reviews
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Some of these reviews remind me of those of Tom Wolfe's *A Man in Full*. Just as *Bonfire of the Vanities* was impossible to follow in such a way as to make everyone (including idiots) happy, Elizabeth Berg has become a victim of her own genius. Her novels are so beautiful and so accessible that when she shows the range of her talent and builds on her previous work (instead of simpy imitating it), the result is bound to confound lesser readers. Berg's novels compare favorably with the best written in the last twenty years by or for men or women, and this is one of her best.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars A feather-weight from Berg- not up to her usual standard, January 22, 2001
Elizabeth Berg is one of my favorite writers but this book seemed like a "B" movie script. Patty, the main character, wants a home, a husband and a baby. When given the opportunity to have all of these, she continually passes up the chance. The reader is never really clear WHY that is- the character's motivation is really weak. And why she is stuck on Ethan, her now gay, once boyfriend other than the fact that he's beautiful- who knows? Why wouldn't she want to move on? Too much dialogue, not enough character development, very sappy (did she have to throw in the Mother with Alzheimers? What was up with that?). Pass on this Berg. Try Pull of the Moon or some of her other books. Seems like she tried write a book quickly and missed the quality she captured in her other novels.
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I used to think that the best thing to do when you had the blues was to soak in a bathtub full of hot water, submerge yourself so that only the top half of your head was in the outer world. Read the first page
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