Customer Reviews

Unwomanly Conduct: The Challenges of Intentional Childlessness

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My husband's and my decision to not have children has been met with some of the most heated, argumentative and prejudiced attitudes possible. Our former status as a cohabitating, nonmarried couple did not even approach the censure that our deliberately childless status receives.

The title of Carolyn M. Morell's book sums it up perfectly: "Unwomanly Conduct -- The Challenges of Intentional Childlessness." Society is full of pressures to reproduce and the women who go against this norm run the risk of being accused of selfishness, pitied as incomplete or having their achievements dismissed as compensation for the absence of a child.

Having encountered this kind of prejudice repeatedly, it was refreshing to read excerpts from Morell's interviews with some 40 women, mostly in their mid-40s, who have chosen to remain childfree. Actually, Morell scrupulously uses the term "childless", having dismissed "childfree" because she says it implies that a woman wants to get rid of children. I personally prefer to describe myself as "childfree" because of what I consider to be its more positive connotation.

Our differing opinons on symantics was the only part of Morell's book that I could not relate to. It was comforting to learn that many of the women profiled within have undergone the same prejudices, assumptions and dismissals heaped upon them by society at large, felt the same barriers in their relationships with mothering women -- and shared the same belief that their choice was and is a valid one.

Published in 1994, Morell's book is a groundbreaking one. Moreover, it is an affirmation for the childfree woman. Morell, herself a childfree woman, even admits that she set out to write a book that she could read. I recommend this book to any woman who wants reassurance that her decision not to bear children is a valid one.

At last, a book which attends to a growing number of women who have made probably the most important decision of their lives. I am one of them: After considerable thought, ongoing medical problems,lousy family experiences and observing other women, I have decided that I do not want to have children. Why do I have to go online to find a book which illustrates to me that I am not alone? This book is a beautifully written revelation. It highlights the many many reasons behind deciding to remain childless/childfree. Any woman who has experienced doubts about whether motherhood is what she wants should read this book - it will help her think through her own life. Thank you for this wonderful book. All shops in the UK and USA should stock it.

It's important to know in considering this book that it is pretty much Morell's thesis, so if you dislike dry, academic work, it's probably not for you. While the book addresses many of the issues that intentionally childless women face (especially the 'compensation' and 'regret' stereotypes), it really hesitates to delve deeply into the sociopolitical/psychological causes and implications. I felt the book was far too heavily reliant on extensive and repetitive quotes from Morell's survey respondents- as such, it really prevented the narrative from gathering speed or developing into something powerful or revelatory. The scope of the research and the profiles of the intentionally childless women presented by Morell are extremely limited, as she herself acknowledges: mostly middle-aged, Caucasian, heterosexual, and married/in an LTR. In short, this book is the first of its kind, and it is groundbreaking. But as a feminist reader and a happily child-free woman, I'm ready for the next step.

I bought this book with the intention of learning about how and why women come to the conclusion that they don't want to have children and learn how I should handle criticism should I choose to follow that path. I bought another book to help me make the decision on children.

I found that this book gave me both, I identified with the woman interviewed and it gave me the confidence to accept my decision about remaining childless for now. After reading the book I was able to more easily identify what it was that made me afraid to not be a mother and more clearly think about that decision.

The research is well conducted, her sample is adequate, this reads more like a thesis than a self-help book and has a lot of interesting research cited. Even if you have made your decision to have children or be child-free the research presented in this book will make an interesting read.