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UpDating! : How to Get a Man or Woman Who Once Seemed Out of Your League Hardcover – December 15, 2003

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (December 15, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071403094
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071403092
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,295,833 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Praise for Leil Lowndes's Previous Books

"Every single person I know asks, ‘HOW can I meet her/him?’ At last, Leil gives us the answers."
--Regis Philbin

"I’m in love with Leil for writing this book--and you’ll feel the same."
--Larry King

"Leil is the best. Absolutely the best!"
--Sally Jessy Raphael

Following on the heels of Leil Lowndes’s bestselling book How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, UpDating shows you how to attract a mate who once seemed out of your league. Written in her trademark straight-shooting style, Leil gives you techniques not found anywhere else, such as how to get:

A GORGEOUS PARTNER: Don’t swoon too soon. Fabulous-looking folks actually like someone better when they seem unimpressed at first.

A WEALTHY, HIGH-CLASS PARTNER: Decorate your home with class, not crass. You’ll learn why a TV or the wrong type of carpeting in your living room can knock you out of the running. In fact, take the "How Classy Is Your Home?" quiz to see where your dwelling stands on the totem pole.

A PRINCIPLED PARTNER: Don’t get caught in one teensy little white lie. One fib and your credibility goes out the door, and the potential mate with integrity soon follows.

AN INTERESTING, ONE-OF-A-KIND PARTNER: Just don’t do anything "normal." Leil shows you how to be a desirable "nut" who will win the hearts of those creative types.

Best of all, you’ll learn to make the qualities you want in others become a part of your own life. You’ll learn to like yourself better, and so will everyone else. And that’s probably the biggest benefit of all.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Leil Lowndes (New York, NY) is one of today's most sought-after communication consultants. She is the author of the international bestsellers How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You and How to Be a People Magnet

More About the Author

Leil has devoted her professional life to helping people become more effective communicators in business, social, and romantic relationships.

The passion she brings to her writing and speaking on communication skills can be traced to childhood when she suffered almost debilitating shyness which lasted right through college. After being a teacher for six years and still feeling socially insecure, she decided to leave the teaching profession and work only in situations which put her in constant touch with a wide variety of individuals. Here is a short history of how she gained her insights and share them with the world.

After working with elementary school children, she decided to take the first step toward her goal by becoming an international flight attendant to feel at ease speaking with adults from all over the world. Still shy in front of crowds, however, tried acting to become confident on stage in. But, although she was very successful (even starring in a Broadway show,) she wasn't satisfied simply speaking from a playwright's script. To become comfortable addressing large audiences with her own "script," she became a cruise director on ships traveling around the world. That exhausting experience of dealing with people almost 24 hours a day, she said, would cure anyone's shyness!

Between trips, Leil worked as substitute host on New York's #1 radio talk show. Interviewing celebrities and political figures is how she became confident talking to anybody about anything.

After decades of communicating with all types and ages of people, Leil decided to write and speak to groups to share her knowledge with the public. Leil now conducts seminars for Fortune 500 companies and speaks at conventions, but her favorite type of communicating is still one-on-one talking with people.

She has written ten books, many of which have been translated into 26 languages. The best selling ones include: "How to Talk to Anyone," "How to Instantly Connect with Anyone," Good-bye to Shy," "How to Be a People Magnet," and "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You."

Customer Reviews

Some of the concepts are quite simple, but VERY POWERFUL.
Mark T Hendricks
Class is not money, class is not FAKING or being rich, class is NOT gas stoves and parquet floors.
My self image and my love life have improved spectactularly.
Lizzy Anderson

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

157 of 163 people found the following review helpful By Groovy Vegan VINE VOICE on March 8, 2005
Format: Hardcover
Want a wealthy mate? Here are some dos and don'ts from "Updating" by Leil Lowndes (LL):
* Get the National Geographic and Scientific American magazines off your coffee table! Those are middle class! Only display literary or foreign magazines. And forget about National Enquirer or Sports Illustrated-those are low class!
* Never wear bright colors! Red is a proletariat no-no! (Didn't anyone inform Nancy Reagan of this?) And natural fibers only, please. (Note - in the 21st century synthetic fibers don't exactly look like John Travolta's leisure suit in Saturday Night Fever.)
*Never wear a baseball cap or a tee shirt with writing on it. (I saw a picture of Bill Gates the other day wearing a baseball cap.)
*Never have a second hand on your watch. "The leisure class doesn't need to track seconds." page 118.
* Have a threadbare oriental rug in your living room and décor alluding to "Mother England"
*If you must lower yourself to owing a television, keep it hidden.
*"Royals" never use a euphemism such as "restroom" or "bathroom". Only use the word "toilet".

As you can probably tell from the above, LL is advising you on how to pass yourself off as an old money blue blood. She offers this as serious advice, but I find this chapter outrageously funny. She even gives you a quiz to tell how high class your living room is. (Subtract 3 points for each color photograph you display.)

I'm not sure that I, being of Eastern European Jewish ancestry, could successfully pass myself off as being blue blood, having been at Hebrew school when I should have been at the debutantes' ball. And someone of African ancestry might have even more trouble. Subtle (and some not so subtle) ethnic and regional prejudices abound in this book.
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30 of 33 people found the following review helpful By Lizzy Anderson on March 16, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Everybody has dreamed of dating better people. But after reading Updating, the dreaming is over and it's becoming a reality. Having the typical "You gotta show me" mentality we have in Missouri, I needed proof. Not to sound arrogant, but I read Updating and now I'm convinced that I can get the best -- and I know how to do it. The author gives studies which back up everything she says. And one of them is that people always underestimate their ability to attract.
As she wrote, because of many reasons, especially lack of self-esteem, we SUBCONSCIOUSLY shy away from making a 100% effort to go after what we want. We only go after who we think we deserve. It's so true. Now I know where to find and how to appeal to the men I want -- and know I deserve. My self image and my love life have improved spectactularly. Read this book and you will soon be hanging with a better class of people too.
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful By William Cape on January 1, 2004
Format: Hardcover
I thought Leil's "How to Make Anybody Fall in Love With You" was tops. But "Updating" is even better because it's not just how to make ANYBODY fall in love with you. She tells you where to hunt, and how to get, a spectacular partner.(Way out of your league?) What I like is that "one size doesn't fit all." In different sections, she gives you get realistic and researched techniques to win a different type of superior man or woman. Do you want someone who is:
1) Very rich?
2) Famous?
3) High class and discriminating?
4) Gorgeous?
5) Creative and interesting?
6) Ethical and honorable?
She tells you what type of person each is looking for, and why they respond to different approaches. "Updating " tells you where to find each particular type and how to win them over. I happened to want a beautiful and refined woman (they really ARE different than average women,) and her unusual techniques worked. I am now dating a classy 10!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Stephanie Manley VINE VOICE on May 10, 2006
Format: Paperback
So this book may not offer the most indepth dating advice for one to follow, its still worth the read. Rather than reading this for the amusing how to marry rich chapter, it should be read for the know thyself concepts. I like that Leil really emphasizes for you to know yourself, and for you to know what you want.

Once you have established the type of person that you desire, she really emphasizes for you to stop dating people that do not measure up to your personal standards. This may be a person with integrity, or it could that rich person.

She doesn't really offer any special tricks or tips, but she does really ask you to be who you are, and then go about finding your mate. Pretending to be someone your not, will eventually fail. So know where are are starting from.

If you are looking for dating advice, this would not be my first choice. Even with the title that would imply that you may be a gold digger, I feel there is worthwhile content in here. I like that she doesn't have you using gimmicks, or playing games to find your mate. I like that she offers some advice, and that the heart of her advice is for you to stay true to yourself, and then not settle for people who do not measure up to your real wishes.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Sennie on March 1, 2006
Format: Paperback
First of all, almost half the material in this book is right out of Paul Fussell's "Class..." and the author even quotes straight out of this book. I hope he got a nice chunk from the sales!

I recommend MOST of the advice given in this book to novices who are of the working class or those who have never read Paul Fussell's book. However, being someone who has lived around old moneyed folks most of my life, I can tell you there are some advices in this book that is just wrong. For example: Cartier tank watchs are a must for old money, capri pants and anything shiny is out and cufflinks are pretentious. All wrong. In Palm Beach, capris are on every woman out for a casual walk, shopping, etc. especially in that shiny silk material most quality neckties are made of. Cartiers are definitely nouveau, whynot recommend a Rolex! Lastly, cufflinks on Frech shirts are worn by most preppies turned attorney/banker in New York - not everyone can pull this off, ONLY those gents who gone to the right schools and belong to the right clubs and speak properly.

This is a cute book, nice attempt and has some sage advice. HOwever, take the advice in this book with a grain of salt. Please note the author did not grow up among the upper class, she just dated someone who was and read Paul Fussell's book.
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