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Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century [Paperback]

Barbara Carrellas , Annie Sprinkle
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 1, 2007
If you think sexual and spiritual bliss can'­t be found in today'­s fast-paced world, you haven'­t experienced Urban Tantra. With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and pleasure-centered spiritual wisdom, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm.With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, including:The Erotic Awakening Massage • Breath and Energy Orgasms • Twenty-Minute Tantra Evolutionary Selfloving • Sex and Healing • Tantric BDSMNo matter what your gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes, URBAN TANTRA will expand your notions about pleasure and open you up to new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This handy how-to promises mind-blowing, toe-curling, highly spiritual sex for humble beginners, BDSM aficionados and everyone in between. Sex educator Carrellas is on a mission to bring Tantra-the ancient practice of sacred sex, in which interpersonal connection and transformative ecstasy are the norm-to the modern world, to reclaim sex from "messed-up, sexually-dysfunctional, judgmental, and ignorant culture," and to shift the urban sex paradigm from recreational activity to a sumptuous, impassioned way of life. Not that one necessarily needs that kind of ambition: Carrellas offers ways to enhance any old sexual encounter (with techniques like breathing, stroking, prodding and piercing), techniques for solo play and countless uses for a trunk full of toys. Same sex, transgender, and multi-partner play is encouraged (if not highly recommended), and the text is peppered with illuminating, try-this-at-home anecdotes. Pictures and diagrams are whimsical but instructive, making Carrellas's cheerful descriptions of unusual concepts-"gigglegasms," "rainbow rubs" and "the mushy puss" among them-easy to grasp. A final chapter, on "Sex Magic," examines the power of Tantra to achieve a number of effects, from backpain relief to a happier office to world peace; however far you'd like to take your sex life, this friendly guide will likely show the way.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"This is honestly the best book written on Tantra, period."-Playgirl"Few books on Tantra are truly brilliant. Barbara Carrellas has written of Urban Tantra in a way that warms my heart . . . honest, clear, human and insightful. I am laughing and loving Tantra all over again."-Caroline Muir, co-author, Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving"Sex educator Carrellas takes tantra out of the exclusive domain of white New Age heterosexuals and makes a compelling-and hot, and damp-argument that tantra is for all of us. Her frank how-to offers suggestions for incorporating tantric principles into queer couplings, with a healthy respect for putting sex back at the center of our lives."-Out magazine"URBAN TANTRA gives me hope that the world will become a more sexually satisfied, ecstatic, enlightened, and inclusive place."-Annie Sprinkle, PhD, from the foreword"URBAN TANTRA is the most pleasurable, fun, meaningful, and liberating book on sex ever! Thank you, Barbara!"-Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Women'­s Bodies, Women'­s Wisdom "At last, a sex book with a sense of humor, and one that dispels the notion that sex is always, only and forever, between one man and one woman. I can'­t wait to see generations grow up with the study and use of URBAN TANTRA!"-Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw and Hello, Cruel World"Any book on Tantra that begins by describing a professional lap dance as a divine sexual experience is one I will definitely read. Written with wit and humor, Barbara's URBAN TANTRA keeps sex real, and, best of all, the rituals are fun."-Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One and Orgasms for Two"If you ever thought Tantra wasn'­t for you-too foreign or gimmicky or New Agey, or not edgy enough for your radical sex explorations-Barbara Carrellas will cure you of all misconceptions and bring you an Urban Tantra to unite your sex, your spirit, your erotic wanderlust, your edge."-Carol Queen, author of Real Live Nude Girl and director of the Center for Sex & Culture, San Francisco"URBAN TANTRA offers a daring, delicious, profound, courageous, and altogether magical celebration that will teach us all to dance to the rhythms of the universe. Barbara Carrellas has written the ultimate how-to book uniting sex with spirit, healing with philosophy, and the animating force of the cosmos with each and every one of us. So if you'd like to live your sex life on a galactic scale, you must read this book!"-Dossie Easton, coauthor of The Ethical Slut"Everyone needs to rejoice in their own sexuality, and Barbara shows us how in this very informative, easy-to-use book. It would be nice to practice Tantra in a lovely remote garden or high atop a mountain, but the reality is that in today'­s world many of us don'­t have that luxury. Barbara demonstrates that it doesn'­t matter where you practice, as long as you'Âre conscious when you do. Now, let go and enjoy Urban Tantra."-Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life and Empowering Women"URBAN TANTRA is a courageous book by Barbara Carrellas, one of the pioneers in contemporary American Tantra. This engaging and comprehensive guide includes numerous powerful exercises as well as moving personal anecdotes that reveal how the conscious exploration and embrace of sexuality can function as a tool for transformation."-Mark A. Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand), authors of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality"Barbara Carrellas, whose Urban Tantric sex workshops combine Eastern sex techniques with the postmodern methods of SM practitioners, is a trailblazer."-Tristan Taormino, The Village Voice

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Celestial Arts (April 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587612909
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587612909
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 7.6 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,952 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Barbara Carrellas is an author, sex/life coach, sex educator, university lecturer, workshop facilitator, motivational speaker and theater artist. Her most recent books are "Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century" and "Luxurious Loving: Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure". Barbara's pioneering Urban Tantra® workshops were named best in New York City by TimeOut/New York magazine. She is also the co-founder of Erotic Awakening, a groundbreaking series of workshops which toured the United States and Australia.

Barbara currently offers inspiring and life-changing workshops, lectures, and keynotes on a variety of topics to individuals, schools, conferences, businesses, and the arts.

Barbara is also a Sex/Life coach, offering her clients sex information and education, intuitive readings, emotional and mental rebalancing, resources and referrals. The essence of her work is the inseparable connection between your sex life and the rest of your life, and the happy integration of body, mind, and spirit.

Barbara brings a holistic, metaphysical, practical, humorous, entertaining and gender-fluid approach to conscious sexuality and to all her work. She began her work in metaphysics and conscious sexuality during the AIDS crisis in the late 1980's--a time when the connections between sex, spirit and healing were at their most strained. Barbara has facilitated countless healing circles and support groups for women, men, transgender people, artists, people with life-threatening illnesses and people with HIV/AIDS. For four years she was a facilitator for and on the Board of Directors of the New York Healing Circle, which was founded in response to the AIDS crisis and incorporated the principles of Louise Hay's work. As her workshops grew in popularity and in attendance, her work expanded to include people from all walks of life and in all stages of sexual evolution.

The more Barbara explored sex and consciousness, the more she saw the possibilities for healing and expanded consciousness in all forms of "sacred" practices, including Tantra, Tao, Quodoushka, Reiki, breathwork, metaphysics, performance, ritual, herbal medicine, bodywork, erotic massage, commercial sex work and BDSM. Her books and her workshops are an eclectic mix of sexual and spiritual practices designed to encourage readers and participants of all sexual preferences and genders to expand their capacity for both pleasure and spiritual fulfillment.

Barbara has been featured in the videos Selfloving, The Sluts & Goddesses Video Workshop, Annie Sprinkle's Amazing World of Orgasm, Zen Pussy, in the film Sacred Sex, numerous episodes of the HBO television series Real Sex, Australian television's Sex/Life and on Britain's Sky Channel as part of the documentary, Sex in America. She collaborated with Annie Sprinkle to present a new/ancient vision of female sexuality in theatrical form in MetamorphoSex, a week-long workshop for women culminating in ritual-performances. She also directed the Australian premiere of Annie's renowned one-woman show, Post Porn Modernist. Barbara is proud to have enjoyed a lifelong theatrical career as a general manager, producer and theatre manager on Broadway, Off-Broadway and in alternative theatre in New York. She is still active as a performance artist.

Barbara has written numerous articles about sex, including a wildly popular series of feature articles for the sex magazine Over 40, highlighting the lives and wisdom of the stars of the "golden age" of porn. She has also written and produced The Pleasure Principle, an educational audio series.

Barbara has lectured at many educational institutions, including Harvard University, Brown University, Vassar College, Barnard College, Sara Lawrence College, Wesleyan University, the Chicago Art Institute and Yale University. She frequently collaborates with her partner, Kate Bornstein, with whom she performs and tours their sex positive, gender-bending lecture/performance piece There And Back Again: An Epic Tale of Sex, Death, and Gender.

Barbara is a certified sexologist (ASC, American College of Sexologists) and a member of AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists).

Barbara is a proud graduate of the Coney Island Sideshow School with a double major in fire eating and snake handling.

Customer Reviews

I've greatly enjoyed reading this book and I'd like to share what I found very valuable. Serena Anderlini  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
It is fun to read and you will learn a lot from it. Patrick D. Goonan  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
169 of 174 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read... Humorous and Informative..... September 28, 2007
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I'm a personal growth coach with a graduate education in integral psychology. I have had a lifelong interest in the wisdom traditions of the world and this was also part of my study. I also work with people having various kinds of sexual issues or seeking more fulfillment.

When I ordered this book, I had a mixed reaction to the reviews and I was honestly expecting not to like it. However, I found it to be quite refreshing, fun, extremely witty and also informative. It talks about real sex between real people and how sex can be used as a spiritual practice and tool for transformation.

Strickly speaking, tantra is path to spiritual transformation that uses the stuff of everyday life as a gateway to something more transcendant. There are many tantric practices and the sexual practices are only a small and rather minor subset of this overall topic. If you are looking for an a good introduction on this deeper tantra or for more context, see Introduction to Tantra : The Transformation of Desire. This is an excellent, concise and accessible introduction to traditonal tantra before it was imported to the West. Although it is written from a Tibetan Buddhist perspective, the concepts apply well to any type of traditional tantra.

Back to this book.... once I got beyond my resistance to it given my knowledge and biases toward traditional tantra, I found it to be a practical tool for people looking to find deeper meaning in sex. Tantra is sort of a buzz word in the West and has a technical definition in the East. However, the authors define Tantra as... "living, authentically, consciously and sensuously. And that can be done in an infinite variety of styles and practices, all of which can bring about prolonged states of love, connection and bliss." If I accept this definition and judge the merit of the book by their own definition, then it succeeds in describing a path for busy Westerner's who wish to find more meaning in relationship and/or sexuality in general.

This book also focuses on Tantra as "primarily concerned with inner mystical experiences, not relationships." As such, it does not have a gender bias or even a heterosexual bias. In the author's words, "Gender is not two bins into one of which everyone must be dumped. It is more like a rainbow spectrum along which everyone can find the particular shade of color that looks best on them." This quote crystallizes the openness, curiosity and acceptance that characterizes the overall tone of the writing.

If I had to summarize the content, I would say it's a collection of psychological, spiritual and practical insights. It challenges basic assumptions most of us have about sex and suggests alternatives, exercises and challenges to the cultural paradigm. Often times the language is edgy, explicit and politically incorrect. However, this doesn't detract from the content, my sense is that is an attempt to reach beyond the ignorance, shame and guilt that so often plagues people in this area of their lives.

While there is some information on the chakra system (subtle energy system), Eastern practices, etc., this is not another New Age book on this topic. In addition, this book contains very concrete tips, techniques, exercises and inquiries that most Western people could connect to.

In short, this is a very fun book. It is fun to read and you will learn a lot from it. Even if the language or suggestions at time seem too far out or don't fit for you, you will still find a lot of value. You may also be surprised that as you delve deeper into exploring this territory there are new vistas waiting for you. This is a nice blend of ancient wisdom, modern insight and down-to-earth sensuality. In my opinion, it is a successful fusion of wisdom old and new applied in a way that the average person can relate to.

If after you get done reading this you want to delve deeper into Kundalini yoga or approach the chakra system gently from a credible and understandable place, then you might enjoy Kundalini Awakening: A Gentle Guide to Chakra Activation and Spiritual Growth. This book is geared toward Westerner's who have difficulty relating to esoteric teachings. It provides an experiental guide to learning about chakras, kundalini, etc. It also explains some difficult concepts in easy to understand language and is written by an author with a gift for simplicity and practical application. You can also look at my listmania lists for other references, including in-depth scholarly ones.
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222 of 246 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I went to her URBAN TANTRA SACRED SEX CLASS August 2, 2010
By Lemure
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
And I have the book. This review is on Carrellas and her whole philosopy - the book and the class. As for the book - you can find anything in this book for free on the internet. It is nothing new at all. She spends some pages complaining about white-bread folks and making sure everyone knows she is a radical lesbian. Same old boring song and dance, "look at me, see how different I am!" She talks about learning advanced meditation techniques from masters. But if you have the smallest, most basic knowledge of Tibetan Buddhist tantra - when you read this book, or see her and hear her rant in person, it pretty obvious that it is all made up hogwash...

I love meditation and I have had a psychic opening from practicing it. I have bliss-ed out during meditation; so I do know what it feels like. I have read all Lama Yeshe's books and I love him dearly. But I do not want to join the Buddhist religion or philosophy, so I keep searching. When I first got into Meditation, I skipped by these sex tantra books believing it to be an abuse of spiritual practices. Ive read extensively how some while practicing meditation & tantra will develop psychic abilities and siddhis and get so caught up in that ... that they never progress down the path any further. At the very least, I saw this type of thing as an annoying distraction that could turn counter productive and destructive.

So I went to this class - Urban Tantra - to see if I could get some first hand instructions on breathing techniques. The classes are advertised that way... as "breath work", so I was very excited to think I would learn something better or new.

Basically what the whole class amounted to was imagining or simulating sex by breathing heavy & fast *THROUGH THE MOUTH* and visualizing sex with some chakra stuff and kegel exercises thrown in. So if you want to try it, lay on the floor, breathe heavy and very very fast, and moan for a few hours and save your money. (This stimulates the lowest chakra only.)

I spent years training myself to properly nose breathe, it was extremely difficult to meditate and mouth breathe. But this really wasn't meditation anyway. Many people complained about tingling hands and feet - Carrellas claimed this was from over-oxygenation and that breathing this way was good. If you search *mouth breathing* you will discover you lose 2/3 of your oxygen by mouth breathing and that it causes premature death and a host of diseases. This tingling wasn't from over-oxygenation - it was from lack of oxygen.

And for part of the class, the single folks had to pair up with complete strangers and kinda dry hump and touch each other erotically - the class was *not advertised* this way at all - complete and utter dishonesty about the content of the class as it never mentioned that people would partner up with complete strangers and touch each other and sit on each others laps, etc... Over half the people would not have attended this class had the content of the class been available for perusal beforehand. Everyone talked about it at lunch break, and I hope some ask for their money back. This class could have easily been broken up into 2 slots, one for couples and one for singles, but I guess Carrellas wont make enough quick bucks that way, eh?

She called this dry humping the yab yum. I wonder if she thinks the Kalachakra is a standing sexual position? She lacks basic information about yin/yang, yab/yum, shiva/shatki and other such inner forces and she spent some time criticizing, in complete ignorance, what she thinks is a man/woman thing.

Anyway, the people that were least attractive, were publicly humiliated because no one wanted to partner up with them. And she even added some sarcastic comments to further humiliate them, as they headed off - publicly humiliated and rejected by the whole class - to their *alone* spot by the mirror. This broke my heart and showed me what raw ignorance really is. Anyone even a teeny tiny bit advanced would not have done this! I don't understand how anyone could miss the absolute horror of what that felt like for that poor women; I surely couldn't. I could not concentrate after that! The fact that most of the class didn't notice or plain didn't care... that they could wipe it right from their mind and continue on with this unfeeling, unthinking teacher that just publicly humiliated, and then brutalized an innocent women with vicious comments...and she even added in that *this* is the universal force that connects us all; NO IT IS NOT - if WHAT you were teaching actually was the universal life force that connects us all - you would NOT have been so heartless, brutal, and sarcastic to that women! NO, it isn't the universal force that connects us all - if you knew this force in the slightest way, you could not have injured anyone in this way! On a side note, *good* teachers that I have seen will partner up with such single folks - but most caring people would not put another human being in this predicament in the first place.

Hey what more can I say? If this is what mind or breath sex is.. I don't want it, folks. At least, not this author's brand of it. Be careful with this brand... knowledge is not wisdom.

She spent quite some time criticizing and polarizing anyone who wasn't gay or into extreme sexual practices - a serious hangup with *normal* people was excessively apparent. Think of a lesbian version of Rosanne Barr teaching a class on faking sex... that sums it up pretty well.

"It gives liberation to Yogis and bondage to fools" - The Hathayoga Pradipika. This quote is not kindly advice, but a dire warning. Kundalini is not something to toy with. It can cause excruciating physical pain and all kinds of mental problems on someone not completely and utterly spiritually ready for it. Search on "spiritual emergence" and read the personal stories.

This is not "Tantra". There are real teachers and good books out there - this is not one of them.
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good, but maybe not for everyone March 3, 2009
Format:Paperback
I thought the book was good, but spent alot of the beginning alienating us boring white bread middle American straight people that may not work occasionally in the sex trade....I say this with a smile and a laugh.

If you are gay, into BDSM, etc. and want to expand on those alternatives with Tantra this book is awesome.....If you want pure Tantra, you can take what you need and leave the rest, or look elsewhere.

It's an easy, entertaining, quick read...and I never thought of myself as a prude, I love the energy information--although it's nothing I haven't learned elsewhere, I just felt a little side tracked at times....

For me personally, and again this is me, but I felt like BDSM worked better when I still clung to many of the issues I've worked through, and I see Tantra as a step beyond, so some of this book seemed like a step backwards.? I also look to Tantra to intesify a long term monogamous relationship, and this book often speaks otherwise. No judgement, just not where I am at this point in my life.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars language is distracting
This seemed like a good reference, but I couldn't get past the BDSM references in the front, and the language throughout. Read more
Published 20 days ago by slapsomeducttapeonit
5.0 out of 5 stars Added a zing in my sex life!
I find it difficult to talk about sex with my partner so I got this book to get the dialog going. It was the perfect thing. Great descriptions for him and her. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Happylovewoman24
1.0 out of 5 stars This has nothing to do with sacred sex...
I was hoping to read about sacred sexuality but instead I was offered mental images of porn and orgies... This book is not about sacred sex.. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Anu
4.0 out of 5 stars Fresh and Exciting look into modern Tantra
I really liked this book a lot. It is a fresh and exciting look into modern Tantra and the use of sexual pleasure to seek enlightenment.
Published 3 months ago by Robert D. Budlong
5.0 out of 5 stars great work!
Barbara has written a well-organized book. It is engaging and thoughtful and fun. I enjoyed it greatly and I picked up a lot of fun tips!
Published 3 months ago by Corey Alexander
5.0 out of 5 stars fun! l
Good read, lots to learn and apply! Teaches you techniques for partner or solo sex and is all about any human lovemaking wether it be male female, female female, male male. Read more
Published 4 months ago by M. Yap
5.0 out of 5 stars A diferent perspective
If you haven't read anything about Tantra before this book will change your perspective of sex and meditation. I will buy other books by the author.
Published 5 months ago by Rogelio
5.0 out of 5 stars Evolution Guaranteed
This book was my first approach to Modern Tantra, and it it is much much more. Interesting, erudite, entertaining and full of very useful information I cannot recommend it strongly... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Carte Coral Sarita Hutchings
4.0 out of 5 stars Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st C - Book Review
Re: Urban Tantra Book: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas

At first I was intrigued from other tantrica's recomendations to buy this book. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Ian
5.0 out of 5 stars Tantra: A Re-Sacralization of the Erotic which is Post-Modern and...
I've been familiar with Tantra for over a decade mow, both as a philosopher and a practitioner, and as a cultural analyst too. Read more
Published on September 15, 2010 by Serena Anderlini
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