Customer Reviews

Using the Power of Hope to Cope with Dying: The Four Stages of Hope

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For many years Cathy presented highly valued, experiential workshops, which contrary to the many available palliative/bereavement workshops , were personal and experiential in nature. They provided a depth of understanding as participants recalled their own experiences with dying relatives and learned how to make this experience a "healing" time for all concerned. Cathy is a hugely compassionate person. Her depth of understanding of the needs of the dying and their families is rooted in over 40 years experience in hospice work. One of her early mentors was Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD (known for the Five Stages of Grief).
In my personal life I have used Cathy's approach several times with loved ones. It provided a depth of 'knowing' that allowed me to be truly present before and during the transition. Its 120 pages are practical and easy to understand. Her "Hand-Heart Connection" is an easily learned technic of compassionate interaction with the seriously ill and the dying. I would like to see this precious volume as recommended reading for anyone who tends the dying - and that eventually will include us all!

Reviewed by Mary J. Simpson, RN, Palliative Care Nurse & Hospice Volunteer.

Cathy's little book enlightens and brightens my heart. For me personally, reading it was a treasure found. Though it has been several months since I have read it, I can hear her voice gently asking: what are you hoping for? And if I don't answer, I know she will again ask this simple and yet profound question that unlocks my soul and gives me the okay to say what I feel, and share what I want or need.
As a certified oncology massage therapist and educator, I find this question, "what are you hoping for today" to unravel layers of important information that help me work more completly and more authentically with my clients. It is more than just instructive; asking it allows me to see the human being in front of me; not just their disease or pain.
Hope Heals. This is the take home message. Cathy's question allows us to reconcile our fears by casting light onto the shadows. The act of asking "what are you hoping for today" breaths life, light and love into every step of our journey; where ever we may be along that journey.
Bless you Cathy, for sharing your bright being with us.
Meg Robsahm, Certified Oncology Massage Therapist and Educator

Using the Power of Hope to Cope With Dying: The Four Stages of Hope offers the dying and their caregivers a powerful tool proven in helping over 40,000 dying individuals at all stages of the dying process. The author's an internationally acclaimed expert in death, dying and hospice care who has presented over 600 workshops on the topic: her book is a powerful assessment of the different hopes of the dying, and is a pick any public library will relish.

My friend Nancy, MSW used "compelling" to describe Using the Power of Hope to Cope with Dying: The Four Stages of Hope. That is what I will use too. Cathy Fanslow-Brunjes took us through that difficult exercise for Pillar Three with grace. I was comfortable with it. Page 4 surprised me because it reminded me of my separation with my Grandmother at 3 months old. I had not thought of it as a catalyst to helping people in transition. I just know, I am drawn to help. This also helped me to be aware of my denial and anger. That I over looked, because it happened, as my precious memories were being formed, in early life. Mom, I am sure was doing the best she could. I just resented the lack of closure with Grandma. This also gave me a feeling for my anger and how I suppress it.
I am trying to be brief and let you know about two other people who have reviewed The Four Stages of Hope for me. Nancy, is taking the book on a cruse with her to Singapore, because she really wants to read it.
Early is a new elderly friend, who recently, lost her daughter. Our mutual friend, Bette R.N. met her and did a little work with her. I tried to connect her with Compassionate Friends, Early has some resistance to Compassionate Friends. So, I gave her a copy of Using the Power of Hope to Cope with Dying: The Four Stages of Hope. When Early returned the book, I asked her what was the best part? Well, she said, "I realize that it takes time." And Early was more peaceful.
And, I love the stories disbursed through out the book. Like listening to Barack Obama talking about the 104 year old voter, Masey. So, not only is this story about Cathy Fanslow-Brunjes' experience, but also her motivation, to make the wisdom the dying have taught her available to all. Thank you, Cathy, for sharing a piece of yourself. Best regards, Aricia Davisson, QTTP

Luckily I've know Cathy for several years through our Therapeutic Touch/hospice nursing connections. I'm always searching for further ways to reach and help dying patients and their caregivers. The explanations, examples and tools offered in this book help me tremendously in my daily hospice and serious-illness client work. Just asking them "what are you hoping for" opens an opportunity for them to think about and for me to be able to know where they are and what they need. Thank you for offering this fine work. Janet Goldenbogen-Self, RN, Qualified Teacher of Therapeutic Touch

Cathy's book "Using the Power of Hope to Cope with Dying: The Four Stages of Hope," is a much-needed followup to the late Dr.Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' seminal book "On Death and Dying." As I read through the pages, I teared up several times as I recalled my late husband's lengthy illness and subsequent death. This book will be a tremendous help to anyone who is going through their own death or accompanying a loved one on his or her final journey. It is rare today, no matter what the cover copy promises, to find a book that has even one new idea. This book really delivers the goods. By FERN STEWART WELCH, author of "The Heart Knows the Way -- How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within."

A must read for anyone who will die or knows someone who will die----yes, that's everyone! Cathleen Fanslow-Brunjes gained wisdom from those she cared for during her nursing career. She is a compassionate care-giver who believes in listening to what the needs of the patient are at all times.
In today's mechanized medical world, there is little time to listen to the dying patient; nurses and doctors are too busy dealing with machines, paper work, and liability concerns to take the time to care and listen to the verbal and non-verbal requests/needs of the dying. This book is the voice of those who Cathleen cared for over the years; a book that has recently helped me as I cared for my dying father-in-law. Without the knowledge I gained from reading this book, I would have missed so much of the beauty of this holy time with my "daddy". I'm so thankful to have read the book before my father's illness; I was prepared to ask the right question----"What are you hoping for today daddy?" This question opened the door to many wonderful discussions that would not have happened otherwise. Thank You Cathleen!!!