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As the above suggests, Valentine is the absolute nadir of the post-Scream slasher film. Australian director Jamie Blanks (whose previous effort was the equally dismal Urban Legend, 1998) obviously had lofty goals for his film, given his bald-faced homages to John Carpenter and Dario Argento. But he hasn't a clue as to how to generate suspense, and his frequent reliance on well-worn shock effects (hands dropping on shoulders, etc.) suggests more contempt for the genre than affection. No less than four writers (including two writer-producers for Roswell, which explains the appearance of series star Katherine Heigl) contributed to the screenplay, which fails to generate the twentysomething drama and hip, cutting dialogue required for this brand of horror. As the five friends, actresses Marley Shelton, Denise Richards, Jessica Capshaw, Jessica Caufield, and Heigl have little to do other than alternately look attractive or afraid; Richards, in particular, looks weary of playing the man-eater. As Shelton's dipsomaniac boyfriend, David Boreanaz (Angel) lumbers through each scene with an embarrassed scowl.
Warner Bros.' DVD includes commentary by Blanks, as well as cast and crew interviews and a video for Orgy's contribution to the noisy, new-metal soundtrack. --Paul Gaita
A lot of horror films feature attractive women, but Valentine is in a class all by itself. What you get here is Katherine Heigl, Marley Shelton, Jessica Cauffiel, the charming Jessica Capshaw, and-drum roll please-Denise Richards. Denise Richards is absolutely stunning in this movie-the smoldering, sultry looks, the prayer-answering hot tub scene, and the bedroom scene I won't even attempt to describe. Watching the creepy old detective put the moves on her is rather comical, but you can't blame the guy for trying.
I must say I really love the killer in this movie. While the concept of the masked killer is far from original, the cherub mask is a cool, creepy look. This killer also enjoys variety, employing a number of different, equally effective implements of death. He works his way up from your basic knife across the throat and crossbow to broken shards of glass and a couple of really innovative weapons. No two deaths are remotely alike, and you can just tell how much the killer enjoys his/her work. The DVD's energetic club reel of Orgy's song Opticon is great, but I would caution you not to watch it before watching the movie because it does give a little away in terms of who lives and who dies.
Valentine has almost everything I want in a horror movie-a creepy killer, gorgeous actresses, all manner of killings, miscellaneous laughs, an actual plot of some complexity, nail-biting suspense, and a less than obvious ending that totally satisfied this horror fan. I would not have objected to some nudity, but this movie really doesn't need it. It's hot, it's sizzling, it's sexy, it's smart, it's a carnival of murderous delight. You won't find many slasher films better than Valentine.