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The Values of Belonging: Rediscovering Balance, Mutuality, Intuition, and Wholeness in a Competitive World
 
 
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The Values of Belonging: Rediscovering Balance, Mutuality, Intuition, and Wholeness in a Competitive World [Hardcover]

Carol L. Flinders (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)


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Book Description

October 1, 2002

The Values of Belonging breaks new ground by examining human value systems from the perspective of how we live, not our gender. "There is a way of being in the world that recoils from aggressiveness, cunning, and greed," writes bestselling author Carol Lee Flinders. This way of being arose out of the relationships our hunter-gatherer ancestors had with the natural world, one another, and Spirit -- relationships that are most acutely understood in terms of trust, inclusion, and mutual reciprocity. This society's core values, which include intimate connection with the land, empathetic relationship with animals, self-restraint, balance, expressiveness, generosity, egalitarianism, playfulness, and nonviolent conflict resolution, are what Flinders calls the "values of Belonging."

But with the Agricultural Revolution, as people took charge of what they could grow and where, the nature of human society changed. Once we could produce enough food to have surpluses, food could be bartered. The concept of ownership took on new meaning; more complex economies evolved, and with them came social and economic inequities. Qualities that had been reviled, such as competitiveness, acquisitiveness, and ambition, became under these new conditions the means to success. God underwent a transformation as well, becoming masculine, supreme, and finally located above and beyond us in the heavens. Flinders observes that these "values of Enterprise" have played a crucial role in the development of human society, having given us our passion for innovation and exploration of our world. But, whether negative or positive, the values of Enterprise, which became associated with men, overwhelmed the values of Belonging, which were identified with women. This division has impoverished us all.

The values that shaped the hunter-gatherer's life reflected the need for connection, while those that fueled the Agricultural Revolution, and the subsequent rise of civilization as we know it, resulted in disconnection -- from nature, other people, and Spirit. The two value systems could not be more deeply at odds. Because the values of Enterprise have prevailed, the entire world stands in acute and perilous imbalance. And yet there are those who have managed to keep the values of Belonging alive, while successfully negotiating Enterprise culture.

In this fresh look at gender relationships, Flinders moves away from the dichotomy of male as oppressor and female as victim. She sees models for a new balance in the lives of visionaries, artists, and mystics such as the Buddha, Baal Shem Tov, Teresa of Avila, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, John Muir, and Martin Luther King Jr., each of whom mirrors the essence of Belonging values for the world. This thought-provoking book adds an exciting dimension to the debate about Western values and where we are headed.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Flinders, who is best known as a coauthor of the bestselling vegetarian cookbook Laurel's Kitchen, has also taught religion and women's studies at the University of California, Berkeley, and now offers an earth-friendly, gender-neutral philosophy for repairing the world. Drawing inspiration from the traditions and cultures of the Native American Ohlone and Pomo Indian tribes that once flourished in her northern California community, she observes that although the tribes did not have a goddess culture, "these were a people who honored women, particularly their female elders... Men and women performed different tasks and played different kinds of games, but the things that concerned women most urgently concerned men also." Calling for a return to this Native American model, free of the restraints of what she calls "gender straightjacketing," Flinders laments the culture clash many people face today, in which the communal values of preagricultural "belonging" societies are at odds with the individualistic, competitive values of our current "enterprise" society. The tone in her loosely organized but entertaining chapters alternates between the academic (she teaches readers the Latin roots of the word "aboriginal") and the anecdotal (e.g., a minister's wife tells her that her husband is experiencing "parish envy" because he wants a bigger congregation). Despite Flinders's strong storytelling skills, though, readers may be disappointed with the book, which, although intriguing at times, presents few groundbreaking ideas in feminist studies. Agent, Candace Fuhrman. (Oct.)
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Flinders explores our conflict between independence and community; a valuable blueprint for the future of modern society.” (Toinette Lippe, author of Nothing Left Over: A Plain and Simple Life )

“An inspired vision for individual and global wholeness. There is an irresistible boldness and wisdom in these pages.” (Sue Monk Kidd, author of The Secret Life of Bees and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter )

“Historical scholarship, anthropological evidence, and political theory weave a compelling description of how core societal values evolve.” (Christopher Kilmartin, Ph.D., author of The Masculine Self, and coauthor of The Pain Behind the Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression )

“Flinders calls for a wholeness that is desperately needed in our increasingly fast-moving, superficial and fragmented postmodern world.” (Dr. Elizabeth Debold, author of Mother Daughter Revolution )

“An important and captivating book. Flinders writes exquisitely; you want to go with her into everything she explores.” (Vicki Robin, coauthor of Your Money or Your Life )

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: HarperOne; 1 edition (October 1, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062517368
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062517364
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,458,132 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Carol Lee Flinders received a Ph.D. in Comparative Literature from the University of California at Berkeley, specializing in medieval studies. She then spent fifteen years writing about natural foods, co-authoring the popular Laurel's Kitchen cookbooks and writing a weekly syndicated newspaper column.

In 1990 Carol returned to her field of study and wrote Enduring Grace: Living Portraits of Seven Women Mystics. Subsequent books include At the Root of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst, Rebalancing the World, and Enduring Lives. She has taught courses in mystical literature at UC, Berkeley, and at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley.

Carol is a Fellow of the Spirituality and Health Institute, Santa Clara University, and serves on the Board of Advisors for the REVEAL conference. She is currently adjunct faculty at the Sophia Center in Culture and Spirituality, Holy Names University, Oakland, CA, where she teaches courses on mysticism and contemplative spirituality.


 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Maybe it's not all men's fault, November 22, 2002
By 
M. Gleason "mg" (Los Gatos, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Values of Belonging: Rediscovering Balance, Mutuality, Intuition, and Wholeness in a Competitive World (Hardcover)
Flinders continues her loving exploration of how our lives have gotten out of synch with our hearts. She describes the values that evolved in the early days of human community and how, relatively recently in evolutionary time, changes in human economic systems shifted us away from the satisfaction of some of humanity's deepest needs. Ever the compassionate optimist, she suggests ways of moving forward out of this impasse into a way of living where humans can live in peace with their environment and with each other.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars wonderful exploration of where we are, October 10, 2002
By 
Stuart Dole (Santa Rosa, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Values of Belonging: Rediscovering Balance, Mutuality, Intuition, and Wholeness in a Competitive World (Hardcover)
This is, to me, a wonderful book. Flinders has really done her homework and been around the block. The writing is clear, and the argument unfolds beautifully. (Maybe it's just that I'm wrestling with similar ideas in my own work, so it all seems to work so nicely.)

The basic idea is that the "world's problems" are more than just too much testosterone -- we have (very cool) intrinsic values that evolved over millions of years in the context small nomadic bands, but are now trying to cope with something altogether different. This misfit is what Flinders explores, from a very new and interesting perspective.

Anyway, it's a delightful find, and it's on top of my reading pile.

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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Excellent concepts, June 25, 2004
By 
Ephalia (West Haven, CT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Values of Belonging: Rediscovering Balance, Mutuality, Intuition, and Wholeness in a Competitive World (Hardcover)
This book explores excellent concepts of all values as human and only socially ascribed by gender. It is a important look at what make us alike. However, the writing is circular and at times the logic is ill supported. I recognise that it is typical of feminist writing to be created delibrately in the context of 'a person wrote this' rather than by some all knowing authority. I have read much good feminist writing that does that. This book does not. Many of the small supporting conclusions that the author makes (especially in regard to 'primitive' societies) seem emotional and shallow. The writing style does a great diservice to the wonderful concepts it attempts to display.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
When we want to understand something, most us begin by trying to isolate it. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
aggressive male dominance, foraging life, historic religions, primal religions
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Carol Lee Flinders, Agricultural Revolution, United States, Australian Aborigines, Kalahari San, American Indians, Axial Age, Carol Lee Flieders, Native Americans, Congo Pygmies, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, New Zealand, Roman Empire, Adobe Creek, Huston Smith, Ituri Forest, John Woolman, Northern California, Trance Dance, Elsie Allen, Gregory Bateson, Gundestrup Cauldron, John Muir, Mescalero Apache
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