Customer Reviews

Vamped: A Novel

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

David Sosnowski's VAMPED takes a twisted view of the vampire novel. What if humanity were an endangered species on a world where everyone has been turned into vampires? What sort of world would the vampires make? Ironically enough, it's not all that different from ours. Marty one of the vampires that "flipped" the world by systematically recruiting more and more mortals into the world of the undead lives in a world where everyone works the graveyard shift. Strip clubs are still popular and the most popular drink is, well, blood on tap.

One night a little mortal girl named Isuzu escapes from a farm where they breed humans illegally for the black market. She and her mother have been hiding out in the woods. Marty discovers Isuzu alone and scared. His world has turned into one of sweet ennui. He decides what he's really missing is the thrill of the hunt of the kill. But something changes his mind and instead of killing the little girl, he adopts her. Not an easy thing to do when your neighbors would want to rip out her little throat if they discovered her. Suddenly, Marty gets thrust into the world of parenthood and must deal with all the issues of a father...that and being undead.

Well written with wit and more than a touch of satire and darkness, Sosnowski's novel takes the premise of Richard Matheson's THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, twists it and turns it inside out combining it with a touch of Anne Rice and Stoker to create a well thought out comic look at our world as seen through the eyes of the undead. Sosnowski deals with a number of uncomfortable themes in the book once removed because it isn't our world at all but a parallel Earth where vampires rule the world and even have their own vamped pets.

This novel isn't for everyone. Someone expecting INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE or DRACULA will be disappointed. If you're adventureous enough to try something new with a touch of dark comic wit, VAMPED may be for you. I wasn't all that pleased with the conclusion but it was the only logical way for the story to go. Still, I had hoped that Sosnowski might be able to pull off something a bit more radical at the conclusion. That small flaw aside, VAMPED entertains, provides a bit of thoughtful discussion and enough one liners to keep you chuckling. Overall, a very successful novel and quite fun to read as well. Now let's hope they don't turn this into a movie and screw it up for everyone or, if they do, that they get witty writer (Buck Henry or someone like him) and director (Guillermo Del Toro would do a fine job).

Successfully treading a fine line between heartfelt and hardboiled, Vamped starts out by throwing so many fascinating ideas at the reader that you'll want to slow down just to take it all in. And it doesn't let up until you reach the last page.

Sure, it's all about vampires, but these bloodsuckers aren't the kind you'll find in Anne Rice books. Instead, they're jaw-droppingly ordinary, engaging in nostalgia trips, petty jealousies, tentative friendships-even selfless gallantry. Sosnowski throws in virtually all of the vampire "rules and regulations," but he updates every one of them, making Vamped seem comfortably familiar and impressively innovative at the same time. In this way, he manages to do the impossible: redefine the "vampire genre" without being cute, coy or clever. Sosnowski seems to have a great respect for all the vampire traditions that have come before, but that doesn't mean he has to follow in them.

Readers familiar with Sosnowski's previous book, Rapture, will find a great leap forward in terms of style and character. Good as the previous novel was, it often seemed to rely too heavily on its central metaphor (i.e., a virus that causes about a third of the population to sprout wings). Like the angel metaphor in Rapture, the vampire metaphor in Vamped is strong. The thing is: the characters are so well drawn and the situations so realistic, the novel would work well even without the vampire element.

This is a book you'll read for pure entertainment the first time through, and you'll probably read it too fast, Sosnowski's style is so engaging. When you go back and read it again, you'll find a completely different book, one that's even better than the one you remember.

And in case you're worried that Sosnowski's skimping on the blood and guts to get his points across, don't be. While there's stuff in this novel that you'll probably always remember just for its distressed beauty, there's also stuff you'll probably remember for its forensic detail. A splendid time is guaranteed for all.

I liked this book a lot, and I'm a fan of a wide range of vampire fiction, from the silly to the serious. That said, this is probably one you could wait for the paperback for.

Vamped tells the story of disillusioned and bored vampire Marty, who's decided it's time to join the really, really dead. On his way to death a la reckless driving, he comes across the improbably named 6-yr. old Isuzu Trooper, who's just witnessed Mom getting turned into Vamp Snacks.

So in a world where the vampires outnumber the humans badly enough that Spaghetti-O's are repacked as lemur food and human children are an expensive delicacy, of course Marty is going to take little Isuzu under his batwing and plump her up. And of course little Isuzu is precocious, intelligent and tasty-looking, setting up a whole book's worth of Marty's internal give and take about what constitutes family vs. what dinner is.

The ensuing hijinks (skating in Alaska where even the dead make puffy breaths in the cold) are funny and sweet and Marty is mostly cute as he comes to have fatherly feelings for Isuzu. The real fun in this book is in the daily details (like why vamps have pets, eBay business in Count Chocula is booming and the workings of the BBQ).

The drawbacks of this book are that we don't really get to know Isuzu much, since the book is told from the rather scattered and careless perspective of Marty. This is chick lit without the chick. Huge, huge passages of time are skipped, with Isuzu suddenly aging quite rapidly here and there. The totally sexless Marty suddenly finds vamp love near a convenient point towards the end and I'm not sure how much logic I can suspend to really let slide the fact that a child can be cooped up for nearly 12 years straight with only limited freaky television and a couple hours with her guardian for company and not end up utterly insane.

The near-ending of the book is inexplicably darker and more sinister than the entire rest of the story and it sort of jars the reader into expecting the end to have more punch than it does. I probably was expecting too much of the author, but the ending was just not as powerful or as memorable as it could have been and it made the overall experience of the book disappointing for me.

This is a fun book, sort of flaky and goofy and not bad if you're looking for something to read on a boring afternoon. In my opinion, it's really not something you read more than once and it's not something you'll think much about when you close the last page. Like Chinese food, when you're finished, you'll know you had something but not really care much what it was or if you'll order it again. I wish this would have come out in paperback first so I could justify spending the money on something that really didn't leave much impression one way or another.

I really enjoyed this novel. It is not dark like many vampire novels, but the premise of life in a societies of all vampires is uniquely and humorously rendered. This also a story about parenting and the simple joys found there. Kudos to Sosnowski on a truly new and different idea and a thoroughly enjoyable novel.

I'm not great at writing reviews. I just wanted to type something to say that I recommend this book for anyone who's into the whole vampire thing. I throughly enjoyed this book. I liked how the vampires have taken over and what it would be like in today's world if that happened. It made the 21st century a character unto itself.

I read some other reviews here and agree with some of the negative stuff. Which I think could have been fixed if the book was longer. Which it could have been and I would be happy with that cause I was sad when it was over. I hope there is a part 2 in fact, I would love a series on this.

All in all (even with the negative things thrown in) I loved this book and can't wait to read his other one, "Rapture".

I read the first 298 pages with a cramp in my face from smiling so steadily while reading what to that point was one of the most entertaining books ever. The writing was witty, the story captivating, the characters very three dimensional; and then it all took this weird turn to superficial storytelling with details that just didn't fit the rest of the work. I might not have minded the last chapters quite as much if not for the let-down after the first three-quarters of the book being so wonderful. It was as if the author got tired and decided to hurry up and get it over with. I wish I could call or write the author and beg him to rewrite the last chapters after taking whatever drugs inspired the good part. I'm still giving the book four stars based on how much I LOVED the bulk of it. But be prepared for a disappointing wrap-up. And for those of you shying away from this book because you're not really into vampire stories, fear not! This work is much more about parenting, love, trust, and friendship than anything else. And for those who ARE vampire fans, don't expect a "dark" story at all. Instead revel in the wacky, futuristic, vampire culture that Sosnowski dreamed up.

Martin Kowalski gets my vote as Funniest. Vampire. Ever.

In David Sosnowski's sophmore novel and first stab at the vampiric mythos, Vamped, is a riot!

Marty the Vampire may have the body of a 20 year old, but he's lived for 100 years. He was vamped when he was a dying soldier in WWII and has since spent his unlife doing what he can to keep himself amused, including joining a plot to "flip" the world population in favor of the vampires. Unfortunately, what this leads to is a quasi-depressing world where humans are rare, farm-raised, and only available via the Internet to the highest bidders. This leads a world full of vampires drinking stem cell derived, manufactured blood. Needless to say, the idea of forever gets old to vampires now and then.

To spice things up Marty decides to make things more interesting by killing himself, he ends up coming across a human in the form of a bossy six-year-old cutey named Isuzu Trooper Cassidy, who along with her now-murdered mother escaped from a local human-farm.

Intending Izzy as a snack, Marty smuggles her back to his apartment. After a few attempts to convince himself that Isuzu is on the menu, he gives up because he's fallen in love with her and instead decides to raise her as his daughter.

Let the laughter ensue! With incidents ranging from superglue to going to the toilet to the wicked hell that are the teenage years, we follow the hilarious adventures of Marty's impromtu parenting. Along the way, we learn about the loving family that Marty grew up in, losing his dear father at a too young age, Marty wants to be the father he never had. The comedy of this book is often turned on its head with unexpected heartwarming and heartbreaking scenes of devotion, love, and letting go.

Even the stuff that I didn't like somehow felt right. I wanted to hate particular scenes or actions, but they just made too much sense to the story being told.

This book managed to give me warm fuzzies as it tickled my funny bone.

Read it and enjoy!

Marty is Average Joe Vampire wondering what to do with eternity. He is so bored that he's thinking about ending it all. In his world almost everyone is a vampire. The thrill of the chase has vanished. They sip blood made from stem cells. A living, breathing human is a rarity, a delicacy to savor should one cross your path. Then one night a suicidally depressed Marty stumbles upon little human girl, Isuzu Trooper Cassidy. This gives him a whole new lease on his unlife. He wins her trust planning to keep her for a later meal. What he doesn't foresee is that this feisty child will turn him from a predator into a protector. Eventually Marty comes to think of himself as a single parent who must shield his daughter from the evil clutches of his undead brethren.

I loved this book. It's well written and laugh-out-loud funny throughout.

The author's witty, fast-paced writing and vampire theme are what originally lured me into this book. It's a book about vampires who have essentially overrun the earth and how a tantilizing snack turns into one vampire's undead dilemma. Fast and fun, with lots amusing contemporary references and word play. Despite the overall humorous take, the book has many dark and meditatively complex overtones which, while at times somewhat disturbing, also made for a really good read. A lot of ground is covered stylistically, from the classic "origins" portions of the main character, to the downright silly descriptions of practical issues in a world become dominated by vampires and the culture that results. Strangely upbeat in places and situations that seem really grim on the surface. A thoroughly amusing book that was oddly heartwarming in a really unexpected, and not-at-all sappy way (which was good, because I loathe sappy).

The person who commented that "many intelligent questions" remain unanswered clearly either didn't actually read the book or doesn't have very good retention. His/her example question is thoroughly answered and dealt with in a great many ways which are quite plausible. In fact, the "solutions" to many of these often awkward questions produce most of the novel's tension and suspense! As for the example given, there's no reason to try and "forcibly abduct" the mortal child when you don't know they are there. This ground is amply covered throughout the entire book. An actual reading of the novel might help.

Oh, and the anti-Catholic commentary, earlier? Please. If you are offended by this book due to alleged anti-Catholic content, then you must also believe the Church is infallible, no priests ever stray, and that power does not corrupt. I would have thought that vampire material of any kind would be avoided by those sorts of folks, but apparently not. Take that particular critique with a large grain of salt, I say. Unless you consider yourself not only unusually pious but also without much sense of humor about it, you may safely read on. For all those folks, religious or no, who can appreciate the nature of human frailty and the very idea of vampires in the first place, this is a worthwhile and amusing book, however.

Overall, a fun but (somewhat necessarily) dark story with surprising twists and humanity in the oddest places.

Pure fun and a laugh. Especially funny to those who love vampire "fiction" or some sarcastic humor. I've always loved those classic vampire movies and books. It was nice to read something that was light and fluffy. The writer is clever and certainly knows how to spin things around to give something old a new twist. Good beach or vacation read!